Collateral

4. Jake

I leave a sigh of relief as I finally get back to my room. I had missed mum, even though she would visit every two weeks and even stay for one, I had missed her. But that doesn't mean that she gets to keep on kissing and pinching my cheeks every five seconds. To top that she wouldn't even let me do anything. I would love such a treatment on a normal day. On a day when I am not trying to get normal back into my life.

My overflowing suitcase was opened in the corner of my room but I didn't have the energy to unpack it at the moment. I take a seat on the edge of my bed and roll my shoulders to release some tension when my eyes fall on the curtains hiding my window.

Maybe it was instinct but the next thing I know is that I have drawn the curtains and am looking at the familiar window.

She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve me coming back. How much ever did my mother need it, Emma didn't deserve this. Nor did Ethan, but him being a part of my unfair life was inevitable the moment he had called me all those months ago.

His voice was filled with despair when he had confessed that he needed me, also adding that he was not Emma's brother at the moment but my best friend. That was all I needed to know that something had happened, besides me leaving.

Over the time we had formed a silent agreement that I wouldn't ask what happened if he didn't ask why I left. And somehow. I realized I needed my best friend as much as he needed his. I had realized that I need my best friends, both of them but I was not selfish enough to do something about the second one. I was only selfish enough to pull the one I hadn't fallen in love in this never-ending quicksand.

And even though Emma didn't deserve my selfish quicksand, she didn't deserve my being back either. Seeing her at the café was a shock, not only because I knew that Mrs. Lancaster insisted on a healthy homemade breakfast but because it was like she was waiting for me there.

The moment I saw her and I was taken back and would have stumbled had I not seen a boy sling his arm around her shoulder. I had never seen him before and judging by the fact that he called her 'Em', I was guessing they were close. I would have felt insecure but one look and I knew he was not her type. My heart felt relieved and yet my brain was disappointed.

Looking how normal it was from them to greet each other, I was jealous of him. I had never envied anybody more than I envied him at that moment.

Afterwards I should have known Emma would be at the tree, but my mind wasn't working when my feet had carried me there. And one look of her tears had made my mind work so fast to decide to push her away, to care but not to show and it had worked. She had walked off. Sometimes I wish that I didn't know her well enough to know exactly how to push her buttons but then I realize that just knowing her is enough to make up for whatever else life has to throw my way, even being away from her.

Then the day passed and Ethan showed up. A few punches were thrown here and there but only I know how much of a hormonal girl I had felt like at the moment he hugged me. What happened next was something I really didn't know how to handle.

Getting my first aid done from Emma was not how I had expected my first day back to go like, moreover imagining her shouting at me for forgetting to inform my mum that I am coming early.

The plans had changed so suddenly that I myself didn't get a moment to realize. I don't know why but a talk with my dad had me realize how much this extra week would mean to my mother and next thing I know I am in the car on my way back home.

Home. It felt so weird. Everything was just the same. The city, the house, my room and yet somehow everything felt different.

I didn't dare to notice much about the people but what I did know was that Ethan still had gooey eyes for Belle but I didn't miss the blush on her cheeks when she got what little attention Ethan was able to give her today evening.