Fix Me (A Jack Gilinsky FanFic)

Chapter 28

CHAPTER 28

I roll to see the clock, it beams red digital numbers and my eyes take a moment to adjust to them. They read 3:17 pm. Is it really that late? I roll over hoping to find a sleeping Jack Gilinsky but the bed is empty. I run over to the mirror slowly stretching myself to fully wake up.

On the mirror is written, “Good morning beautiful J” in dry erase marker. I immediately smile and fix my makeup, which had smeared while I was sleeping. I fix my hair in a messy up due.

I slowly walk downstairs, creeping around every corner trying to be aware of where people were and who is in my house. I walk into the kitchen to see Sammy. What is he doing here? He’s sitting at a stool and facing the opposite direction. I think to myself about how this conversation will go. Play after play runs through my mind all different from one another. I’m done with his sympathy, I’m done with feeling bad, I just want to tell him how much I love him and for nothing to be awkward between us. I want everyone to forget everything.

I decide to make the oldest move in the book. I slowly walk up behind him, silently, and give Sam the most pure kiss on the cheek as I wrap my arms around his neck. He immediately stands and embraces me.

His arms clutched around my waist and my arms held onto his neck. His head digs into the crevice of my neck and he’s holding on for dear life. I can’t get away from his grip if I want to.

“Cat I can’t begin to explain how sorry I am. I love you so much and I would be devastated if something ever happened to you. Please, please forgive me,” he pulled away from our hug and gripped my upper arms, “I am so sorry, for everything you’ve been through, for what I put you through, for…”

“Sammy stop,” I cup his face in my hands, “I. Love. You. Sammy, I love you more than you’d ever know. You’re an amazing friend and I don’t ever want to hurt you.”

He cuts me off, “And I never want to hurt you, and I don’t want you to hurt yourself. Please understand that,” I stare at my feet. I am ashamed. I don’t hurt myself. I did once. I will never, and would never think about harming myself again.

After examining my socks and the patterns of the floor I build some courage up, “Now stop being a pussy, you’re a man…Where’s Jack?”

“He had a huge test today. He stayed with you in the morning and we swapped places during lunch. We really wanted you to have someone with you at all times.”

“Oh,” all I could think to say.

“He’ll be back soon, he said he was coming over as soon as school ends,” I look at the clock, school got out a while ago, “So what happened between you two last night?”

I blush and Sammy takes notice fast.

“What?!? What am I missing?! WHAT HAPPENED?!” Sam screams at me excitedly. I think about yesterday.

“Nothing,” he glares at me, “I promise!” my cheeks still beating red.

My whole heart jumps and skips two beats. Two hands had clutched my waist scaring the shit out of me. I turn around and slap what I can of Jack’s shoulder. Gilinsky’s lips race to mine and he spins me in a circle.

“Nothing,” Sammy jokes motioning air quotes. I laugh at him and break from the kiss.

“Hi Jack,” I say hugging him for dear life.

“Hi beautiful,” he says kissing my temple. His arms squeeze me and rock me back and forth.

“How are you feeling?” Jack Johnson comes in a minute after Jack.

“I’m feeling a bit better but I just…I just really don’t want to face the kids at school tomorrow…Like I don’t even know how to…”

Jack Johnson shoots Sammy and Gilinsky a look, “Just don’t go back tomorrow, I’ll stay with you,” he pulls me into a hug. G and Sam claim they’d stay with me too if needed.

“I’m just worried what everyone’s gonna think about me, ya know?”

“I know what you mean babe but everyone’s worried about you and they all miss you.” Gilinksy is still wrapping me in a big bear hug. This is totally exaggerated. I know that no one cares. I’m just the school joke. A few people cared. I got many many texts, calls, and like two cute little gifts sent to my house from friends. As much as I appreciate the gestures I am trying not to talk to anyone right now.

I laugh at him and take a huge sigh, “I just liked having my privacy, you know? Coming here was a fresh start and a new beginning,” I catch myself smirking at the ground, “I liked the idea of that.”

“I can’t believe you were gonna go through life just pushing these emotions to the inside and hiding yourself away. Like that’s so scary to think about. You’re so strong,” Sammy says sounding intrigued.

“Strong?” I kind of chuckle to myself, “What I did yesterday was not strong.”

“Yeah, but everyone breaks sometimes,” Gilinsky says handing me a glass of water and some advil knowing that I would have a head ache after a traumatic day like the last.

I smile at Jack to thank him. Not much is said. A few smiles are exchanged. I turn on some video games for the boys and Johnson and Sam race to the controllers. Jack snuggles up besides me, not in a cute romantic way but protective enough where I feel safe. Jack J and Sammy sit feet from the television shaking and jittery from the intense video game playing.

When I yawn, Jack walks me upstairs to “tuck me in” but nothing happens. He walks me upstairs and watches me climb into bed, he doesn’t actually say anything but his glowing beautiful smile says it all.

I lay in bed thinking for a while. My sleep schedule is really off right now, I’m exhausted.

When I wake up again, it’s dark. I scramble around in my bed trying to find my phone in my messy bed. I know I fell asleep with it in my hand. When I find it I check the time to see that it’s three a.m.

I still hear people talking so I walk downstairs and trace my steps towards the voices. When I enter the kitchen I see Jack and Jack talking with my mom. Jack Gilinsky is wearing a huge smile and Johnson is wearing his cute half smirk. I eaves drop in on their conversation.

They’re talking about me. This worries me, I don’t want my mom to give away anything I haven’t and I don’t want the boys to say anything that I would be paying for later.

“I’m so glad she has you boys in her life,” I hear my mom say wrapping up a conversation.

“I’m glad we have her too,” Johnson says and says a final goodbye. The boys show themselves out. 

I guess Jack can sense that I’m hiding behind the corner because right as he walks out the door he turns towards me and whispers, “Goodnight babe.” He winks in my direction and shuts the door.