#35

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Being back at Ateez's dorm, made me nervous. Because I still didn't know what they had been thinking about me. And they were all just staring at me, like I was an alien or something. Luckily Hongjoong saved me, by saying he needed to talk to me alone. We went to his room, and Mingi followed us.
- I need to talk to her alone, Mingi.
Hongjoong said.
- No.
Mingi said, making me laugh.
- it's ok.
I said.
- can I at least have my phone now?
Mingi asked Hongjoong.
- It's in my underwear drawer.
Hongjoong said.
- are you serious??
Mingi said, and glared at Hongjoong.
- that's really funny.
I said.
- it's not.
Mingi said, and got his phone out of the drawer.
- I'm going now.
He said, and left.
- I think he's mad.
I said, making Hongjoong laugh.

- I'm really sorry that I just assumed that it was you that did something bad.
He said, and sighed.
But it was me...
- Can we just forget about it?
I said, and smiled.
- I can't. I feel really bad.
Hongjoong said.
This wasn't what I wanted.
I didn't want him to feel bad about himself. I just wanted things to go back to normal.
I was about to say something back, but then I got a text.
Mingi: punch him in the face.

I couldn't help but laugh.
- what is it?
Hongjoong asked me.
- nothing...
I said.
Mingi kept texting me.

Mingi: and then go punch Seonghwa in the face.
Mingi: but not me. At least.. don't hit my face. I'm too handsome.

- why do you keep laughing?
Hongjoong asked me.
- it's nothing. Let's just go back to the others.
I said, and laughed awkwardly.

We went back to the living room, and everyone stopped talking.
- if you guys keep acting so awkward I'm gonna go.
I said.
- don't go! I just forgot how pretty you are.
Yeosang said, making Mingi hit him.
- well, I didn't forget how pretty you are.
I told yeosang.
- can we hug her now?
San asked.
- Nope.
Mingi said, and grabbed my hand. He dragged me into his room, and closed the door behind us.
- did you hit him?
Mingi asked me, as we sat down on his bed.
- obviously I didn't.
I said, and laughed.
- do you want to hit me?
He asked.
- Maybe.
I said, and giggled.
- Sungyeon... I wanted to see you. But I couldn't.
He said, and sighed.
- you guys weren't even in the country for most of the time.
I said.
- i know.but I just...I feel so bad.
He said.
- let's not feel bad anymore.
I said, and kissed him.
- can I just have five minutes to cry?
Mingi said, and smirked.
- I don't understand why people cry so much.
I said.
- You don't cry?
He asked me.
- I think I've used up all my tears.
I said, and giggled.
- I don't think that's how it works.
Mingi said, and laughed.

After we left his room, I decided that I needed to talk to Seonghwa. But he wasn't anywhere in the dorm. Maybe I could call him later.
- if you guys really need to be alone.. could you not.. be alone in my room?
Jongho asked, making me really embarrassed.
- It's my room too.
Mingi said.
- I feel like Jongho is taking about something I don't wanna think about, so I'm gonna go.
Yunho said, and went to his room, looking embarrassed.
- there's no way they're doing anything like that.
Wooyoung said, and laughed.
- guys, don't talk like that in front of Sungyeon.
Hongjoong said.
- i don't even know what we're talking about.
San said.
- I think I'll leave now.
I said.
- Sorry.
Wooyoung said, and giggled.
Although Hongjoong looked really disturbed from the conversation, he said Mingi could come with me if I wanted to go home.
I definitely didn't want to be here anymore.

When we got to my place, the maid came to the hallway to greet me. She always did that, with a smile. I remember growing up, I always wished she could be my mother. Not that my real mother was a bad one, she just didn't show any affection. Towards me, at least. It always seemed like she preferred my brother.
- who's this?
My maid asked, and looked at Mingi.
I was about to tell her that he was my boyfriend, but then I remembered that she already thought that Seonghwa was my boyfriend. It would just be very awkward.
- he's my friend.
I just told her.
- well, your father wanted me to tell you that he's on his way to America, so he won't be home for a few days.
She said.
- thank you for delivering this delightful message.
I told her, and she laughed.
Mingi just looked at us confused.
- I'll go make you some food.
My maid said, and left us.
- I'm your friend?
Mingi asked me, looking amused.
- my special friend.
I said, and kissed him.
- you kiss all your friends like that?
He asked me.
- shut up.
I said, making him laugh.

We went upstairs, to my room, after I told my maid to go home. Since my father was away, she finally agreed to take a break. She lived in the guest house on our property, so it wasn't really that big of a risk for her to go home and rest.
- I like your room.
Mingi said.
- thanks.
I said, and giggled.
- woah, that's a lot of cat pictures.
He said.
When I was younger I collected framed pictures of cats, and hung them on my wall. I probably had hundreds of them.
- it's not weird?
I asked Mingi.
- it's a little weird.
He said, and laughed.
- well, I'm weird.
I said.
- I know.
Mingi said, and kissed my cheek.

We laid down in my bed, and I rested my head on his chest.
- your heart is beating really fast.
I told Mingi.
- it's always like that when I'm with you.
He said, making me laugh.
- mine too.
I said, and kissed him.
I had almost forgotten how good it felt to be this close to him. It had been two.. very lonely months. And he was the only person I wanted to be this close to.
- Mingi?
I said.
- what?
He asked.
- I missed you so much.
I said, and kissed him.
I really had missed him so much. And I wanted to show him. I started kissing his neck, and then I slid my hand down his pants. I had never really touched him like that before.
- what are you doing?
Mingi asked me.
- don't you like it?
I asked him.
- I do.. but you don't have to do that.
He said.
I noticed that he really liked it, and it made me happy. And the way he looked at me... made me really like it too.
- just.. stop talking.
I said, and kissed him.

AN: I literally can't breathe call 911

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