How To Love

9.

I like being in the same room as you and your girlfriend
The fact that she don't know (she don't know)
That really turns me on
She'll never guess in a million years
That we've got this thing going on
You're my little secret (secret babe)
And that's how we should keep it (nobody has to know)
It's on everybody's mind, about you and I 
They think so
but they don't really know or wanna know that (they don't really know)
You're my little secret (keep it on fresh baby)
And that's how we should keep it
We should never let 'em know
Never let it show
If you know, like I know
We should never let it go (never)
: My Little Secret by Xscape

                       ~Kami~
               "We haven't hung out in a minute," Trevor said. It's about three weeks since Hakeem has been stabbed. I haven't saw him since. I haven't been been home since. Nobody knows where I'm staying. Not even Trevor. I just met him out today because I haven't seen him in a blue moon.
              "I know. I've just been so busy with work and trying to find another job," I shook my head. Which isn't a complete lie. But I was really high off those damn pills most of the time. And drunk. Drunker than a motherfucker.
              "Kami, I missed you," he said.
               "I missed you too hon," I smiled.
              "Can I have some?" He asked.
              "You have your own," I giggled pointing to his strawberry ice cream. He chuckled.
                "But I want blueberry," he pouted.
               "You should've got blueberry," I shook my head. Then I yawned.
                "You tired?" He asked. I nodded.
                "We can call it a night if you want to," he said.
                "Yeah I think I'm gonna head home."
               "Why don't you come visit me and Flower? She thinks you don't want her around anymore."
             "Yeah I could," I nodded. I got into my car and followed him to his apartment.
             Flower was in the kitchen making cupcakes. She turned and saw us. "Oh my GOD! Kami Hi!" She exclaimed rushing to hug me. I hugged her back.
               "Hey Flower. How have you been?" I asked her.
                "Pretty good. Did he tell you we called the engagement off?" She asked.
               "Umm no. That is news to me. Why would y'all do that?" I asked. Flower always feels the need to tell me everything going on in her and Trevor's relationship. And I entertain her antics, so she won't get suspicious.
               "I don't know. I just feel like we're at different stages in our lives. He's about to be sent away soon and I don't wanna leave LA. Maybe in a year or two, but now it's just crazy," she shrugged.
                "I understand completely," I nodded.
               "Girl. Trevor doesn't tell you anything anymore. I'll catch you up though," she shook her head. "But let me get back in this kitchen."
              "A break huh?" I asked Trevor. He shrugged.
               "We're actually broken. It's a done deal. I'm moving out soon."
               "Oh. That's. Good, I guess," I shrugged.
                "We can finally do whatever we like, whenever we like," he whispered. I shook my head at him.
                  "I don't think so." He sighed and began texting me.
MoneyMan: Why not?
Me: Just not down with it
MoneyMan: Since when?
Me: You and Flower always do this make up to break up shit. I'm not trying to be caught in the mix
MoneyMan: I promise you not baby. It's just gone be and you. We done for good.
Me: Still not feeling it
MoneyMan: You gone be my girl A'Kami
Me: If you say so
MoneyMan: Come with me, when I get stationed
Me: I'll think about it.
                 "Who you texting?" Flower asked sitting between me and Trevor.
                 "Nobody," he said locking his phone.
                 "It's not my business anyways," she laughed. "Right Kami?"
               "Yeah. I think I'm gonna go. I'm sleepy," I told them.
               "See you girl," Flower waved. I got up and left the house. Maybe Trevor and I could be something. He's actually my first. Well willingly. I got into my car and started back towards the inn. A'Keem was calling me as I was going up to my room.
              "Yes?" I asked.
              "You missed two family gatherings. We expect to see you at the next one. And why you ain't been at home?" He asked.
                "What's the next family gathering?" I asked him.
                 "Fish fry."
                 "I'll be there." I hung up. Then I text Trevor.
Me: Fish Fry with my family?
MoneyMan: Wouldn't miss it for the world baby
               I looked up and bumped dead into Ryder. "Tristan been looking for you," he stated. "He got released yesterday. And it fucked him up that you wasn't there not once."
               "How the fuck did you find me? My own brother can't even find me," I said.
              "I know people in low places. Now I'm on here to deliver a message. Tristan wanna see you, so have your ass at his house tomorrow."
              "Fine," I shrugged.
              "I don't even know why he deal with your hoe ass," he muttered.
              "Me either," I replied going up to my suite. I opened my room door and it was dark. Too dark.
               "Miss me baby?" He asked. Michael. I pulled my taser out of my purse and tased him. He fell to the ground and I ran out of the room. I ran to my car and got in. I drove until I got to Jamal's house. I beat on the door.
                I don't know how long I beat on his door. But he finally answered. "Kami what the hell!" He snapped.
               "Daddy," I cried hugging him. "I want my daddy." He held me close to him as I cried.
                "Stop crying," he mumbled. He closed his door and locked it. Then Kari stormed downstairs with tears in her eyes. He let me go.
                "What's wrong baby doll?" He asked pulling her close to him.
                 "Nightmare. Kidnapping," she cried. He rocked her back and forward. It's like he forgot about me. I took my pills out of my bag and shook out two. I swallowed them dry.
                "Let's get you some milk," he kissed her forehead taking her into the kitchen. Michael got in here before though. He could do it again. I ran outside to my car and punched the gas hoping full speed to Hakeem's house. I used my key to let myself in. I swear I almost broke down. He was in here with his family. He was sleep. They all were sleep curled up on the couch. I stepped out of the house locking the door back.
                  I called the only person who could help me now. "Kino," I said softly.
                "Wassup Kami?" He asked.
                "Can I crash at your place tonight?" I whispered softly.
                 "Yeah. I'll be up waiting on you." I parked my car and went into Kino's house. He pulled me into a hug. Nala stared at me sadly.
                "Are you okay?" He asked.
                "Can I sleep in you guys room on the floor?" I asked. Nala nodded even though Kino was about to say no. So I made myself a pallet on the floor while they slept in their bed.
                    Flashback
               "Daddy, I'm scared," I whispered. "Can I sleep with you tonight?" I asked.
               "Yes Kami. You have no reason to be scared though." I laid beside him cuddling his pillow. Then Kari ran in.
                "Daddy! Daddy! The bad man is after me in my dreams. Can I sleep with you?" Kari asked.
               "Come on in." Kari climbed in and snuggled right into him. He held her as they slept. But I didn't sleep. I was looking over my shoulder all night thinking Michael would pop up. Man I was scared. I scooted closer to my father and Kari.
                "Kami go over. It's hot," Kari complained.
               "Kami go get in your own bed. You're too old for this," Jamal groaned. I got off of the bed and sat on the floor. There's no way I'm leaving this room. He could be waiting on me.

                  "Kami," Nala shook me softly. I looked up at her. "Why don't you sleep up here with us?"
                "Thank you," I said laying beside her. She wrapped an arm around me.
                "You'll be fine honey. I promise."
              "Yeah you will." I heard Michael say and I screamed.
              "Kami!" Kino exclaimed.
              "He said something," I cried.
              "That was me," Kino sighed. Nala hugged me close to her rocking me back and forward.
               "It's alright baby," she whispered rolling her eyes at Kino.
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