Now I am a rockstar (A Percy Jackson Story)

Chapter 46: Can everyone please BE QUIET!

Traitor 

You're no hero

Villain

"How did it all get so heavy
I used to stand up so tall
There's only so much I can carry
Before I fall
And they tell me "girl you're so lucky"
"You've got the world in your hands"
But you know the world gets so heavy
You don't understand
And that's heavy"

Why are you even alive?

You destroy everything you touch

"Sometimes I lay awake in bed at night
I close my eyes and all I see is see the dreams I used to dream about when I was younger
I wonder where I took the path of no return
I might've lost my way a hundred times but no I never ever lost the hunger
Oh and I know every cut and every stitch and every scar
I know they've gotten me this far, they only made me tough, they made me stronger
But when it's hard to breathe and I just can't get off the floor
I long for days when I was free a life I lived so long before"

I heard someone open the door but I ignored it.

"It all got so heavy
I used to stand up so tall
There's only so much I can carry
Before I fall
They tell me "girl you're so lucky"
"You've got the world in your hands"
But the world gets so heavy
You don't understand
And that's heavy, heavy"

I played the last couple of bars, realising I have tears on my face.

I quickly wiped it away to turn to see the door closed now and no one in my room.

I narrowed my eyes.

'It was Ava' Order said 'I saw her about to come in, but she didn't want to disturb you'

I chuckled and stood up.

I went towards the door and locked it, staring at the door.

"Good, cause I would have killed her" I said "Is what we had fake?"

I heard Order sigh in my head.

'She did jump on you, making out with you before knowing you well and keeps leaving you in bed by yourself in the morning' Order said 'Have you considered her using you for your fame?'

I forced out a laugh as I slid down the door, feeling my tears fall down my face.

"I hope not" I sobbed out "I swore I would never love again yet I fall in love only to fall further than I have ever before" 

I paused.

"Order" I whispered "You have to promise me something"

'Yes boy?' Order asked.

"If anything happens to me, just let it happen" I said "I'm so sick of fate controlling me and making me suffer for this long" 

'You know I can't do that' Order said.

"You're the primordial of Destruction" I whispered, almost pleading.

'But I have grown fond of you boy...and you also have so many people who care for you' Order said.

I sighed.

"But they don't know me, the real me" I said "They will go to the next most interesting thing, and don't you dare deny that because you know it's true"

I heard a knock on the door.

"Percy?" I heard Andy say "The door's locked; who are you talking to?"