Euriv's Children

Chapter 18

*** Up top is Cathan

Cathan's POV

"It's been too long. What are we supposed to do? Are we supposed to just wait?" I paced back and forth, scratching the back of my head with the handle of the knife. "She shouldn't have gone alone."

"We will go find her." Eric's hand was on my arm.

I nodded, "I'm ready."

"You're not going. Not alone. You two go that way," She pointed behind me, "And we will go this way." She pointed behind herself.

"Stay out of sight." Owen reached out and Eric hugged him.

"You too brother." He strapped his Katana to his back, winked at me, and we set off.

The forest was dark, and a feeling of dread started sinking in my stomach. Death had occurred here. Many deaths. I took deep breaths, trying to get ahold of myself, but Eric had noticed.

"What's wrong?"

"Death, so much death." I choked out. That feeling was creeping up again, but this time I could almost taste the blood that had soaked the ground.

"It's going to be okay. Just deep breaths. Here." He placed my gloved hand on his arm. "Life. I know it's not Ali but focus on life. You'll be fine."

Thank god it was dark or he would have seen how red my face was. The solidity of his presence helped me stay grounded.

"You know, this one time I found out my ex-boyfriend and my ex-girlfriend started going out. It was so awkward. But they've been going out for a year or so and it seems to be working." Eric glanced over to me, as though to gage my reaction.

"You're bisexual?" I asked, surprised.

"Umm..." He ran his hand through his hair, not looking me in the eye. "Yeah, believe me, I fought it for a while but It's not that big of a deal. Guys, girls, neither, both, it makes no difference to me. I don't think gender should dictate who you love. Not saying that people who identify as male, female, straight, gay, or even asexual are wrong, that's just the way I view myself." He stopped babbling and looked to me apprehensively. I was looking at him with wide eyes.

"That's pretty amazing. I don't think I've ever met anyone who felt that way before. I'm..."

"Dude you don't have to say it if you don't want to." Eric patted me on the back. Suddenly I could feel my heart in my throat. That was so sweet, but I really wanted to share.

"I'm gay." I grinned. "I've had a couple boyfriends too. I've just never met anyone who believed fully in equality. Most of my friends kind of think being gay means you're better than everyone. Does everyone at your school think that way?"

"Well, only the ones worth sticking to. The majority don't care but there are the occasional jerks." Eric winked.

Calm down. I thought. He's... Boy the word cute doesn't even describe him, but let's not get ahead. "I wish my school was like that." I looked away.

"You were bullied?" He whispered.

"Foster kids don't really make friends." I shrugged. "And I was homeless for a few years, so school wasn't really where I wanted to be."

"Homeless?" Eric had stopped in his tracks. "Did Jess' family take you in then?"

"Yeah they did. After child services found me." I didn't look him in the eye.

"Come on." Eric whispered in my ear, pulling me toward the cliff face. There was a space, just large enough for us to squeeze in.

"It's a little cramped in here, isn't it'?" I said, wiggling against the rocks at my back, trying to get comfortable.

"Stop." Eric gritted his teeth. "Please stop moving."

"Sorry." I went very still, trying not to touch his skin. It happened anyway, and I felt panic rise up and into my throat. But nothing happened. We ended up squished together, his foot between mine and his chest pressed against mine. I could feel his breath against my ear.

"Ali must be worried." I whispered, in an effort to calm my nerves. "How do we let her know we are okay?"

"I don't know. No cell service and we don't know where she is. For all we know, they could be..." His voice trailed off.

"Don't. This is all my fault." Even in the confines between the rocks, I hung my head against his shoulder, now I know I won't hurt him

"All your fault?" He asked, confused.

"I let her go alone with that guy. I don't even know if I can trust him. I should have gone with her. If anything happens, it will be my fault. Either Ali won't forgive me, Owen will kill me, or I won't forgive myself. Either way this doesn't end well." My voice was filled with pain and anger no matter how hard I tried to hide it.

Eric took a deep breath and reached for my hand in the dark. It was clenched into a fist. I looked up at him in the dark and his breath hitched. Oh I didn't want this to happen. I didn't want to be attracted to anyone on this journey. I couldn't. I also couldn't stop glancing at his lips.

"You and Ali really are twins aren't you?" He chuckled. "You both think that whenever someone gets hurt it's your fault."

"I really want to kiss you." I said honestly. I twined his hand with mine.

"Then what are you waiting for?" He asked, his eyes glinted like firelight.

"I can't. I don't want to hurt you." I almost breathed the words.

"I'll take that chance." Eric's hand came up to my face, his thumb swiping my cheekbone lightly. I could feel his breath on my face, his heart pounding against my chest.

"I think I found one of them." Someone shouted.

We jerked apart. Eric rubbed the back of his head. At the entrance to the small cave, I saw people with flashlights searching the area.

"Get behind me." He moved me awkwardly and pushed until my back hit the wall. "Stay safe."

I wanted to protest but he was already running out into the night, being chased by the dancing lights, almost like fireflies.