Behind the Scenes

Chapter 25

"What-"

I pushed passed her, slamming the door behind me.

"He's been sleeping with Madison," I blurted, returning immediately to my pacing across the floor.

"What!?"

"I caught her coming out of his room when I got to his floor," I added, tears streaming down my face and blurring my vision. "She said they've been fooling around for a while, but didn't want anyone to know."

Ashley fell back onto the bed beside me as I continued to walk back and forth, pain rippling through me.

"Katie, I'm so-"

"I was a bet," I interrupted, the words like bitter poison against my throat.

"Excuse me?"

"I was nothing but a bet to him. Harry and a friend made a bet that he could get to me. That I would hook up with him, because he's Harry Styles and no girl can resist him. He told his friend that we slept together. But we didn't! We didn't even do anything! I was just a game to him all along, Ashley. All this bullshit of being nice to me, of pretending to care that I have a fear of crowds, it was all to get me to trust him. He has been playing me from the moment we stepped on set, and I fucking fell for it!"

My face was burning, like flames of hatred, self loathing and anger all rising from deep within me and searing me alive. I could hear my pulse in my ears, each beat of my cracked and dented heart echoing in my skull with a painful pounding of a drum determined to break me down further. My body wanted to run, to hide and scream, but I had nowhere to go. There was no escape from this moment.

A knock at the door broke through the frantic thrumming in my head, my eyes lifting to stare at the nondescript surface. Silence fell over the room, a long, weighted quiet, until again three steady raps tapped against the wood.

Ashley stood, approaching the door cautiously. Peering through the peep hole, I could see her body tense, before she turned back to me.

"Do you want me to open it?" she asked. She didn't have to bother confirming who was on the other side.

I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want to face him, or have him see me this hurt by his actions. It would only prove to him that he won, and that I had been stupid enough to allow myself to care for him. That even though every part of me knew better, I had let my walls down just enough that he got through.

He broke me.

But from somewhere deep inside, a new fire raged. One that I stoked through the years of hiding in my room, of building my own worlds, and trying to convince myself that I was enough without the validation of others. It was a long, hard fought achievement, that little bit of confidence I had built. But in this moment, it drove me onward. To show him that he hurt me, but that I wouldn't let him take all of me.

Stepping forward towards the door, I reached out as Ashley stepped aside. I pulled it open roughly, staring down the person on the other side the moment he came into view. His mouth fell slack, eyes wide as he took in the look on my face. Tear stained cheeks, flushed skin and crumpled features.

Reaching out, he tried to take my hands.

"Kate, what-"

"Don't!" I barked, jerking away from him roughly. "Don't touch me."

His hands hung in the air between us, confusion written across his face. His eyes flickered over my head towards Ashley, lingering in the doorway. I didn't turn around, but hoped she was shooting him the daggers I was.

When he looked back to me, he was a mask of confusion. "What is going on?"

Propping the door open with my foot, I crossed my arms over my chest. I didn't necessarily want to have this fight with him in front of Ashley, but would be damned if I was going to step out into the hall and allow myself to be alone with him. I had made that mistake too many times already. Maybe that was how he got through to me so quickly, like some sexy, charming voodoo on my heart.