Clace - TMI AU

16

When Jace got to his room he saw Alec there waiting for him.
"I don't deserve sympathy Alec. And I don't deserve to be reassured that it isn't my fault."
"I'm not here to say that. I just wanna know what went on between you two before hand." Jace froze.
"What do you mean?"
"Well Sebastian, Jonathan whoever he is clearly thought there was something more right? That's why he made the demon become, well, you."
"Oh come on this is ridiculous."
"I mean if there wasn't something more than he could have morphed him into either one of us but he must've hose you for a reason, so what happened?"
"Fine, before she was taken we kissed."
"Wait, you kissed. Why? How? What? Oh my gosh but she's your sister. Woah, I think I need to sit down."
"Chill, I'll explain." He took a deep breath, preparing himself to admit something he'd never done before.
"First of all, I've never, ever seen Clary as a sister. In fact, the truth is I've been in love with her since we met. I just never said anything, I never thought she could feel the same way about me. After Taki's when I argued with Sebastian she came home and shouted at me. And it made me so mad and I told her to break up with him. She wanted a reason and she kept pushing me and I couldn't stop myself. I just kissed her.
And, then, I ran. And avoided the day after. Then when I finally came home she ran into me. Literally. She'd just come back from breaking up with Sebastian and he'd burnt her wrist. I took her up to my room and we argued again. She wanted to know why I kissed her and I didn't know what to say. I just couldn't stop myself and I kinda kissed her again. And she kissed me back, a lot. Don't pull that face, I have to hear about you and Magnus.
Anyway then she left because Izzy texted her and well you know the rest. And now he's done something and I don't know if I can ever face her again. I've failed her."
"She doesn't hate you. She couldn't. I saw her face after she flinched away from you. After she realised what really happened." Jace grimaced at the painful memory.
"Thanks for the reminder."
"My point is, there's nothing you could do that would make any one of us hate you. We are all equally to blame for when happened to her. We just need to get over ourselves and be there for her when she wakes up."
"I can't. You're one hundred percent right but I just can't. I'll see her when she's ready to see me."
"Fine, but no wallowing in self pity."
Jace hugged his parabatai.
"I'm gonna go sit with her until she wakes up." Jace nodded and watched him go. His anger had subsided but his feeling of helplessness hadn't. He lay on his bed and eventually fell asleep after what felt like an age.