Unforeseen

Sleepless in Asgard

Flinging my covers off I sat up, brushing aside my hanging bed curtains as I snuck over towards my closet where I grabbed my cream shawl, throwing it around my shoulders loosely. I'd left my book on Asgardian politics in the library. It had been the dullest of the tomes I'd been reading to prepare me for my duties, so maybe I would sneak down to the library and get it. Hopefully it would bore me into at least a fitful sleep.

I cracked my chambers' doors open, looking down the dark hall for any sign of a guard, hoping to not be caught sneaking around the palace in my thin nightgown. Pushing the door open more I stepped out of my rooms before turning to gingerly close the door as silently as I could.

"Trouble sleeping?" A male voice suddenly asked from behind my door, startling me so much that I jumped.

"Oh!" I yipped, jumping back as a gloved hand peeked out from around the door, shutting it to reveal an einherjar whose armor shone in the dim light of the hallway's few lit torches. I tugged on my shawl, trying to hide as much of my figure underneath it as possible to preserve my modesty since I was just standing in the thin, billowy white nightgown. Even as I tried to take in his appearance, it started changing with small flashes of familiar jade green light, revealing Loki standing in his own style of armor, the Allfather's spear-like scepter grasped in his one hand. Raising my hand to my chest, I sighed in relief, "It's you. Why are you-"

"Guarding your door?" Loki finished my question, crossing his arms as he leaned back against the wall, "I figured you would have trouble sleeping the night before the ceremony. I wanted to be close by and make sure you were alright."

Guilt twinged inside me. Had I been that obvious about my nervousness during our dinner? I'd mindlessly eaten, silently consuming my entire plate of food, which I regretted now as my uneasy stomach tried to revolt against me. I hadn't been much of a conversationalist, only offering Loki single-word responses before I'd excused myself to turn in early for the night. I tried to twist my face into a calm, casual expression as I shrugged in a hopefully laid-back way, "I'm fine, it's just pre-ceremony jitters, you know, nothing too surprising."

Loki stared into my eyes for a long moment, analyzing me, before commenting, "You look tired, darling."

I wasn't fooling him, now was I? No. It was sort of a hopeless endeavor to try to fool the god of trickery and deception. He could see right through me at my mental exhaustion and my worry about the events of the upcoming day that I was trying to push away.

Sighing again, this time in defeat, I tucked my hair behind my ear thoughtfully as I considered how to respond to his comment. It was clear in his expression that he was worried about me and my own state. I wanted to reassure him, explain where my mind was at, "Mmm, I am, but..." I hesitated a moment more before admitting, "It's worth it."

Loki raised a questioning eyebrow.

"All of this... the ladyship, the politics and ceremonies and duties and propriety... all of it is so over my head and this last week has practically been one massive crash course in palace life and how to be a member of the royal family's household. I feel like my head's going to explode if I learn one more fact about taxation or Asgard's diplomatic-militaristic relations with Niflheim, but, in the end, it's all worth it because it means that I can be with you here, that we can be equals of sorts." I tried to piece my thoughts together into an explanation, "It means that I can be useful, that I can make an impact here. I'm not a secret here, nor am I going to be some sort of trophy wife or something where I do nothing while you work hard making Asgard a better and stronger realm."

A small smile curled my lips as my eyes grew distant, staring sightlessly at the flames of one of the hallway's torches, "All I've ever wanted to do was to do something worthwhile. In college, I figured that I could do the most good by using my skills with acquiring and using languages. Then, with S.H.I.E.L.D., I could use those same skills along with my newfound powers to do necessary work that those skills allowed me to do. I could protect people and get things done in a way that others just weren't equipped to do. Now..." I trailed off for a moment, biting the inside of my lip before continuing, "This is hard training, different than getting a college education and different than S.H.I.E.L.D.'s training, but if it means that I can do something of use for Asgard, for this realm that is now under your care, then it's worth it. Asgard is your charge and your home, and now it's mine too."