Broken Strings

Diary

Swecha POV

Almost all great love stories that the world has ever seen, always had a great beginning. I guess that is fitting. A great beginning for a great ending and a journey that would spread their sacrifice and love. Like how Romeo and Juliet started with the rivalry of two families. They always knew they can never be together and still they fell. Very hard. Their love was so devastated that it resulted in six deaths. And yet we only speak about their love and not about their foolishness in falling in love with a person they know can never be theirs. I guess that is how we readers convince ourselves. That love defies all love. We always forget the consequences. But maybe all these sacrifices are worth it. Maybe these sacrifices is what makes everything that is forbidden and love beautiful. Finding happiness even when we are losing. 

But what about people like us. Ordinary people with an ordinary lives. 

An ordinary love story with not so great beginnings and often not so great endings. Because we are not brave. Because we cannot fight. But what we have is probably more pure than what Romeo and Juliet had. Because at the end we know when to stop. We know when to stop hurting each other and people around us even though we love each other. We know we can never choose our love above our career and dreams and we know that even though we never forget them we have to let go. Sometimes these little sacrifices we make can add up to building a better world. And that is what makes our small and ordinary love more pure and beautiful compared to all those great love stories. 

My little ordinary love story didn't began with an amazing beginning either. 

It didn't start with fluttering heart beats and all those flowery stuff. It didn't began with a cute-meet or a fanciful journey.

It began when I finally decided to cry when he sat beside me and took me in his arms.

It began when he said that he understands that I am scared of crying in front of others.

It began when he said that he can hide me from others view and held a jacket over me as I cried.

It began when the sadness turned into something more painful and a certain calmness set over me as he rubbed my back.

Maybe it was foolishness. Maybe it was our fate. To fall for someone I know I  can never be together. To become another set of ordinary Romeo and Juliet that ruined several set of lives.

"I know I can never feel your pain but I can understand your sadness. It is the best I can do for you now, Swecha."

"I know. Just stay, Jay."

"My shirt is drenched and you are snotting like a pig."

"Also shut up."

............................................................................................................................................

It took several days for the death of my father to sink in.  We came back to our family manor in a small village close to Goa to hold the required rituals. My brother haven't spoken to me since I arrived and have been doing all the work. I guess he blames for the death of dad too. That would reduce the burden on his conscience. Having someone to blame for something bad that happened to him. He isn't being hostile either like always. If I am interpreting correctly he is ignoring me. Maybe that is because Maanav has refused to leave my side much to his fathers dismay and is staying in our guest room from my fathers death. He cant lose his dignity in front of the son of his top competitor. Jay has been staying in an orphanage though he sleeps with us. Maanav said that he grew up over there. It is weird how close we grew up and yet never knew each other. 

 The paparazzi is going spiraling out of control upon our fathers death. With Maanav staying with us is kind of fueling the process.

The first few days it was kind of awkward dragging Jay into my room for sleeping with Maanav and my brother both around. But after the screams and the nightmares they had to endure from me when I spent the night without him they kind of came around. Well, Maanav did. Anirudh could not care less.

A week has passed and our semester exams were nearing. I forced the guys in leaving because I knew Jay would murder me if he lose his first place. It was late in the evening after the guys had left when I heard a knock. 

Anirudh was waiting for me. I blinked at him.

"Do you want anything?" I asked unsure of his presence in front of my room.

"No. I mean, Yes. Can we talk?" He asked.

My eyebrows reached the peak of my forehead. He never was this............polite with me. It is disarming and disturbing.

I nodded and got off my room.

We reached the end of the corridor and entered the garden. He handed me a book. It looks a diary.

"What is this?" I asked.

"Our fathers diary. You didn't kill our mother, Swecha. Our father did. And he is the reason our grandfather is dead too. I am sorry."

I collapsed again for the second time.