Broken Strings

WAITING

Jay POV

One more week passed in a blur and it was time of my discharge. Swecha made it a point to call me every hour possible , now that she knows my number. I regretted the decision immediately and blocked her. But she always managed to unblock herself at night when I was sleeping.

It's annoying.

And cute.

Shut up. 

The nagging memories or the dreams are becoming more frequent and vivid. The night of my parents death, the night I'd rather forget is becoming more and more disturbing and scary. I woke up almost every night sweating. And Swecha declared that I need to get laid after spending two nights guarding me from the couch.

I kicked her out of my room.

She waltzed back into the room hiding behind Maanav after one hour.

"You are sweating and moaning in your sleep. You need to let off the steam. Desperately. You need to get laid, Jay. That is the only way." She said with a serious and solemn expression.

I glared at her.

Maanav cracked up and laughed two hours straight that the nurse had to examine him for potential mental damage. 

When Swecha opened her mouth again I picked up the knife that she used last night to cut the apple and pointed it at her.

She could have beaten Usain bolt if she ever were to participate in Olympics.

I shook my head at them with a small twitching at my corner of the lip.

I shook my head. My barriers in place again.

...................................................................................

Maanav helped me into my bed and went off to find some more pillows. By the time he came back his face was ashen and his hands were trembling ever so slightly. I sit up.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Dad just called. I might have to visit him soon. I said I will leave as soon as you are good."

"Let's go together." I said panic raising inside me. 

"It's okay. I can handle him. Don't worry."

And before I could say anything he left the room. I sighed. I know that look an his face and he is definitely hiding something from me. I was contemplating whether to go after him or not when I heard a hesitant knock.

I looked up to see Swecha standing awkwardly beside my open door. Her eyes were filled with concern. She was in a over-large sweater and a blue jeans that felt little lose in on her legs. Her dark eyes and her pale face was.........disturbing.  Her appearance said more about her state of fatigue and tiredness than what she let on. Guilt gnawed at my gut. I nodded her to get inside.

She stepped inside hesitantly looking around my room. Observing with a fascinated gaze.

Apart from Maanav no one, no one ever came inside my room. Much less a girl. I watched her as her wandered towards my desk where a three photo frames lay facing away from her. She sat down beside on the bed and met my eyes.

If she ever felt uncomfortable with my staring she never let on. And the more I stared at her the more unsettled I am becoming. Watching her became a habit overtime and I was way past the phase of being ashamed of it.

"Maanav just left." She said in a quiet voice.

"I know " I said looking at her. 

She never asked me why again. After that day, I mean. And she never asked  why I accepted the fact that she knew very easily. I was glad for the absence of her questions. Because I don't have the answers. But I wanted her to ask. I wanted to ask. 

The moment when the defibrillator touched me, I saw the look on her face. The rawness of her shock and something I couldn't quite explain or forget. A look that I had seen only once on Maanav. When Samaira died. His first love.

Behind that playful smile, she is hiding something really 'painful' like people say. And I knew when I decided to call her that night that I have to know what that is. 

Because that is how Maanav started.

That is how he hid his pain behind a well guarded mask.

That is how he tried to kill himself for the first time.

"Jay?" Her voice was low but strong.

"I know." I said.

"He looked upset." She said looking up at me expectantly.

"He just realised that he cannot see the receptionist he was flirting with all these days and decided to give his last goodbyes to her."

She blinked at me. She blinked at me some more.

"Was that a joke?" She asked.

"Yes." I said flatly.

"That is the saddest joke I have ever heard. I should have just killed you when I had the time while you were sleeping." She said getting up. Glaring at me she walked out of my room, shouting

"I will be back tomorrow."

I smiled.

 I won't let what happened to Maanav to you.

I will be waiting.