cliches.

cliché chapter 3

(brace yourselves)

I flittered daintily into the drawing room, where my twin sister Alice Cullen was sitting. She's a vampire, and I'm not even though I'm immortal and I'm more beautiful than her and graceful, like the running antilopes.

"ugh, Mary-Sue, you're so plain and boring!" yelled Edward Cullen's gf, Annabeth, as she strode into the room. I rolled my eyes and put on some Billie Eilish, because I'm not like other girls. Then I skateboarded to Starbucks to meet with my bffs before my first day at Hogwarts.

"heeeey, gurrl!" drawled sexy Gustavo (I call him Daddy for no reason.)

"Hey daddy" I said in comic sans, beginning to watch an Emma Chamberlain video.

"How you feeling?" asked sexy Frodo Baggins.

I groaned in a hipster way. "sick as a budgie (because parrots are overrated)" I said, flicking my blue hair. Just then, I felt some bullets on the side of my head - that's weird. With a human like me, I should totally be dead by now.

"omfg, I totally wouldn't have done that if my dad hadn't hunted my brothers and I for sport when we learnt how to crawl!" cried a sexy voice.

I turned to see... Sherlock Holmes?! And he was really sexy?!

Then the puzzle pieces clicked together in my head. Immortal? Bullets bounce off of me? Paper-white? Beautiful? Elegant?

Now, I'm either a Mary Sue, or...

"I'm a vampire!" I screamed, running out of Starbucks, not really looking where I was going.

I ran down the street, passing Nell the Fringe eating sugar cigarettes on a street corner with a shorter girl who yelled 'diabolo' and 'virility' after me for no apparent reason.

But apparently she's not as random as me, because I ran into the wall of the tardis! Whoops! My eyelids fluttered, and everything went black...