Pepper never meant to lose her best friend. Lucas never meant to fall in love.
Yet the aftermath of broken hearts leads them to blur the lines of their friendship forever. When Pepper is dumped by her boyfriend and Lucas is led on by his crush, they...
Trigger Warning: this chapter may contain content that someviewers find difficult to read.
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THE SECOND WE GET THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR, Lucas's lips are on mine. There's not enough time to prepare as he scoops my body into his. His mouth conquers mine in a feverish kiss. I barely have enough time to react. One moment, we're layered in thick winter garb, the next, he shakes out of his coat and relieves me of mine without missing a beat.
Everything burns. My chest, heart, lungs. Thunder shatters my tender skull. Blood roars in my ears. Vomit sears the back of my throat. Desperate for air, I break from his lips and turn my head. Lucas busies himself by kissing my neck and jawline instead. Fumbling fingers yank off my gloves and scarf and toss them to the side. Too fast, he's already touching the straps of my dress. The walls of my chest constrict in suffering.
I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
My limbs are frozen but sweat glazes across my skin. My tongue won't move; too heavy. My voice has abandoned me. Lucas' husky breathing crescendos in my ears. He shifts the straps to my dress aside.
Speak! Say something!
"L-L-Lucas?" I wheeze and force my sluggish tongue to move. "L-Lucas."
He barely breaks away, just cups my cheeks and finds my lips with his again. "Yeah?"
"C-can I get a m-moment to breathe, please?"
Bright eyes search my face and he leans his forehead against mine. "Sure." A light grin touches his lips and he kisses the corner of my mouth. "I don't mean to rush. You have no idea how bad I want you right now."
"O-okay."
I don't give him enough time to say anything else. If he does, I'll surely rupture in despair. I gather my dress in handfuls and race upstairs. Free from his overwhelming presence, I stumble into his bathroom and flick on the light. My legs liquefy the second I'm behind the closed door. It provides a barrier, a shield against the reality I will soon endure. Pain shoots up my palms as I dig them into the edge of the sink to keep from collapsing to the ground. My reflection stares at me through the mirror and exhales. Every breath I heave out shakes my chest. My eyes are so wide, I can see where my pupils rest in my brown irises. The skin along my bones is so sweaty and flushed, I appear feverish.
Realization collides into me, something so sudden and sickening.
I don't want to do this. Any of this.
I don't want to date Lucas or pick between him and Mason. I just want to be alone. I've never craved solitude as much as I do right now. The desire to curl into a ball and burrow in my bed and cry forever is overpowering. I want my mom to hold me and stroke her fingers through my hair while telling me everything is going to be okay.
