Holding On & Letting Go [✓] (Boyxboy)

Chapter Ten

"Shame," she had said. "You two would be quite cute together."

"Mum!" I had laughed. "He's my best friend!"

"Your mother was my best friend," Dad spoke, drawing mum to him as he placed a kiss on top of her head, smiling at me. "They can be both, son."

I shook my head in a mixture of confusion and amusement. "We're not like that. Jack and I are just friends."

"Alright," Mum had smiled. "As long as he knows that."

That had left me feeling confused the same was Jack did now. What did she mean by that?

By four o'clock my head was spinning, a dull ache growing slowly. All my time couldn't be spent thinking about this.

Rolling out of bed, I dress and snatch up my keys. Leaving the apartment, I climb into my car and drive until I find somewhere quiet.

In the early hours of the morning, the small park was deserted and I parked the car and got out. Sitting on the swings in the playground, I watched the sun rise in the cool morning air.

Tilting my head back, I let the sun rays wash over me in a golden glow. This was my favourite time of day, and it had been a while since I watched a sunrise.

A text on my phone had me snapping back into reality. Checking it, I curse before climbing back into my car.

The cafe was busy and vibrant when I stepped inside, despite the early hour of the morning. I spotted who I was looking for right away.

"You're up early," Aria greets, sipping on a latte as she looks up at my approach.

"I had a lot on my mind." I take a seat opposite her.

Aria folds her arms across the table, pushing her drink to the side. "So, what's up? You sounded pretty desperate on the phone."

"How do you know you love someone?"

Surprise comes over my sister's face. She cocks her head in confusion. "How do you mean?"

"I mean," I clear my throat. "What are the signs that you love someone?"

"Troye, is everything okay? Your hands are shaking."

"Speaking hypothetically," I lie. "If one wanted to know how they felt about someone, what signs would they look for?"

"Well," Aria takes a sip of her coffee. "I'm not expert at romance but I'd sure as hell say it's in the way they look at you."

That was exactly what Jack said, but it didn't help.

"Anything else?"

"Usually you would have the desire to spend time with them, and you miss them the second they leave."

Check.

"And?"

"It's a whole bunch of things, Troye." Aria shrugs. "It's different for everyone."

"But there are commonalities, right?"

"Sure."

"So?"

Aria sighs. "Look, for me it was about that excited feeling you get in your stomach when they enter a room. It's the way they make your entire day better simply by smiling at you. It's the feeling that you can be yourself around them, walls down, simply the real, raw you."

"Have you ever felt that?" I ask.

Aria simply shrugs, something passing through her eyes that I couldn't catch. "Maybe."

When I don't respond, Aria takes my hand in hers. "Troye, you'll just know, okay? And then, there'll never be anything else again."

I still refuse to speak so Aria says, "You can always talk to me, you know that right?"

"Of course." I nod. But some things need to be figured out on your own.

"I need to ask you something." I say.

"Shoot." Aria says, leaning back in her chair.

"The other day, I heard you and Jack talking in the living room."

"Oh God." Aria's face pales. "What did you hear?"

"Nothing incriminating." I shake my head. "I didn't mean to hear you, it was just as I was entering the room. You and Jack kept talking about a 'he'. I know Jack likes someone, he told me himself. I guess I'm just wondering, do you know who it is?"

Aria goes to reply but I cut in with, "Please don't lie to me, sis."

Aria sighs, eyes avoiding mine as they drop to the table. "Yes Troye, I know who Jack likes."

"Why won't he tell me?" I breathe. "It's as though he doesn't trust me."

"I think," Aria says softly. "He trusts you too much."

I frown. "What does that even mean?"

My sister shakes her head. "I'm not really sure."

We're both silent for a moment before Aria speaks. "Look, we had this conversation yesterday and believe me when I say, nothing has changed. You don't need to worry."

"But-"

"No buts." Aria interjects, flipping her hair over her shoulder and concluding the subject. "Now tell me about this trip to New York."

***

I returned to the apartment a little while later. Just as I'm about to step out of the elevator, my phone lights up with a message from my mum.

Hey Hun, dad's hosting one of his poker parties again tonight and wants you and your sister to be there. Jack is welcome to tag along, as always.

I almost laugh as I smile to myself. Poker parties were an Evans tradition. My dad would get all his buddies together and play poker all night out in our pool house that he had converted into a games room.

My dad had taught me to play when I was old enough, but I lost interest after some time. Now, when my dad hosted these parties, I would have a movie night with my mum and sister. Jack usually came too.

Sending her a quick reply, I pocket my phone and unlock my apartment door. Jack was in the kitchen when I arrived, unloading the dishwasher.

"Hey, you're up early." he observed when he noticed me in the doorway.

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep so I went out."

"Watching the sunrise?" Jack teases with a knowing grin.

I feel an immediate weight lift off my shoulders. Jack didn't appear to be holding any awkward tension about last night. Maybe I was just overthinking it after all.

"Yeah," I laugh. "I haven't seen one in ages."

Jack nods to himself and goes back to finishing the dishes.

"So uh, my mum has invited us over tonight. My dad's hosting one of his game nights again." I say. "Do you, uh, do you want to go?"

Jack looks up at me and smiles. "Sure, why not? But it's not like you're actually going to play."

"Hey! I might this time."

Jack chuckles, shaking his head lightly. "Okay, we'll see."

"Seven o'clock." I point at my best friend as I turn to leave the kitchen. "Be ready."

Jack's laugh follows me down the hallway.

***

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