Way Down I'll Go

Flutter, Float, and Change to Butterflies

"Excuse me."

He turned but kept his head down.

"Could you direct me to the— Jo! What are you doing here!"

As she took in his attire, he fought the urge to sprint for the safety of the kitchen.

"That was a stupid question. I thought...when you said you worked tonight I thought you meant at the factory."

He didn't know what to do with his eyes. Or mouth. Nothing intelligent was forming, so he said nothing, gawking at his hands like a mute imbecile.

She cleared her throat, probably waiting for him to say something. Like a normal person. Just then, the middle aged woman across the room, who looked suspiciously similar to Rachel, called out to her.

"Rachel? Come here! There's someone who wants to say hello."

Rachel smiled at the woman and turned back to Jo.

"Come! You have to meet my parents."

Jo found his words then.

"I...can't. I should be back in the kitchen."

"Oh. I'm sorry. You're working...I'll let you be. We're still on for tonight?"

Jo swallowed. 

"I don't...you...you're friends will be missing you."

With that, he turned and pushed the cart through the kitchen doors, heading straight for the sink. Finishing the rest of the dishes in record time, he let Frank know he was leaving for the night.

"Sounds good kid. Thanks for the help." 

He handed Jo a plastic bag of leftover appetizers. 

"Say hi to the boys for me."

The walk home was frigid and slow. By the time he unlocked the apartment door, it was 11:30. He knew she was there before he saw her, the perfume she wore lingering gently in the air.

She was sitting on his bed, his bed, with the boys gathered round as she read them a story. No longer sporting the red dress, she sat cross-legged, wearing sweatpants that gathered around her ankles and an oversized sweatshirt. She looked up at him and smiled shyly. His heart seized. If possible, she looked more perfect in sweats with her hair in a pony, sitting cross-legged on the ragged blanket than she had in stilettos and formal wear.

For a brief moment, he allowed himself to imaging that she was his, that she was waiting for him.

"Jo!" 

Excited shrieks filled the room and Jo was tackled by his brood.

They devoured the appetizers, shared their primitive New Years resolutions, told stories, and laughed until midnight. Apple juice was consumed in vast quantities and cheers of "happy New Year!" were shouted at volumes usually not allowed.

After the hyper bunch were settled into bed, Jo walked Rachel to her car.

"Look, Jo, I want to thank you for allowing me to stay tonight," Rachel said quickly as they neared neared the bottom of the stairway. "And I want to apologize. I've intruded far too much on your family." 

She paused, chewing her lip. 

"I can tell that my presence bothers you and I would never want to overstep. I won't come anymore."

Tell her yes. Tell her to stay away. You might as well get it over with now. She'll just leave anyway, one way or another.

"You don't bother me, Rachel. You confuse me. But you could never bother me."

They had reached her car as she cocked her head to the side, questioningly. Jo ran a hand through his hair, sighing deeply.

"I don't understand why someone like you would want to spend time with people like us."

"Someone like me?"

He dropped his eyes to his scuffed boots. 

"We're from different worlds."

"Unless you're secretly from Venus, I don't think that's true..." 

He heard tentative humor in her voice. 

"Jo, I don't care about any of that. I know there are people out there who do, but I'm not one of them. You're family...I've never felt happiness like I've felt it with you. All. All of you."

She was blushing. Jo felt something warm in his belly. The butterflies had retuned. 

Damn them.

"I should tell you to stay away, but I think I'd have a mutiny on my hands."

She smiled but still seemed unsure.

"Rachel, I would like it if you still came."

The smile she awarded him could've melted the polar ice caps.

"See you Friday, then?" she asked brightly.

"Yeah."

The smile on his lips couldn't have melted anything. 

But it felt amazing.