Lonerism

Body & Soul

A.N. Just hit 8k, and as you know by now, I always do a one-shot in thanks to all of you guys who choose to follow and read my stories.

First of all, this story isn't focused on telling a boyxboy romance, so if you've come for that, this one shot probably isn't for you. It addresses some pretty personal stuff I've covered in detail before, but this is the last time I'll be writing about it. The pic is me and my mum, the last one taken before her death, and the video linked up top is a song from her funeral. It's pretty relevant to the plot of this one, so thought I'd stick it in idk. Anyway, enjoy!

Body & Soul

It was a warm night, that night.

The light of the sun was burning away, slowly sinking into the sea, and dragging all its orange and yellow hues under with it. Luno watched the lights in bewilderment, how they were painted over the ocean so perfectly, how they merged and mashed with the blue and black of the ever-moving water.

He found himself retreating to this place more and more often lately, to escape his worries and woes, sitting on a brick wall before a sandy beach that overlooked the English Channel to the south. To the east, the bitter North Sea brought with it a cool breeze, blowing through Luno's hair, through his thin shirt, up his billowy shorts. He breathed in deep and sharp as it did, feeling the icy air burn his lungs, blowing against his skin. He ached to be touched and held in that moment, wrapping his arms around his legs and hugging himself close, as if imagining someone special there with him, in his own embrace.

Luno looked back out to the sea, pondering. The water would be ice cold, near deadly this time of year. Strong currents would trawl you under, bash you against hard, jagged rocks, rip you beneath the tide and drag you out into harsher waters. Luno had heard many stories of kids playing carelessly, swimming out too far and never being seen again. Still, the sea around Port Petticoat seemed gentle enough that night. The waves lapped up against the shore with a slow, calming creep. Luno almost felt like going for a swim, but he knew better than to entice himself. If the cold wouldn't get him, the currents would.

In spite of the danger, he still found comfort in this place. An uninterrupted silence, free from dishonesty and hubris, a place of simple quiet. It was becoming harder for him to find such peace, drowning as he was in the droll bullshit of day-to-day tedium. What he would give to forget the burdens of the past, the painstaking memories that held him down like thick chains wrapped around his whole body. What he would give to fuck and fall in love, or just to see her again, alive and well.

It always came back to her, he thought, letting out a sorrowful sigh.

As the Channel swallowed the sun, Luno thought to himself that he hadn't seen anything quite so spectacular. It was the perfect example of God, if he ever needed one, if he was ever in doubt.

How could such natural beauty not have been painted by the hands of God? How could something so otherworldly even exist, unless designed by a higher being? He would never know the truth of it, but he knew in his heart that there was a god. He trusted it. He needed to believe it, to believe that she was in a better place, that someone was looking after her now.

Luno's hands went to the silver necklace that hung around his neck, almost by instinct, as it always did when thinking of her. He twirled the dangling coin that hung from the chain in-between his fingers, the symbol of St. Christopher, and for a moment he felt as though he could have been touching her again, holding her in a soft embrace, like the necklace was as much a part of her as it was of him.

He smiled as he remembered her. Frizzy black hair, blue eyes just like his, and a kind face, although she hadn't always been kind to him. Then he remembered how pale her skin became, how pained and tortured the look in her blue eyes became, how her body weakened as her soul became immortal.