The Fake Smile He Wears

Chapter 20

Here's my 2000 reads special! It'll be quite long. Welp hope you enjoy! *holy crap there's 3000 reads now, guess I'll have to make another long special*
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Truth. A simple word, yet it has so much more meaning. It's something many seek for when the impossible happens. Something that's feared, but also valued. Many fear what the truth could bring, while others value what the truth can bring to life. Truth a word that seems so simple, however the truth is never simple, there are always layers upon layers. Sometimes the truth brings more questions than answers. Sometimes the truth is quite simple, we only make it more complicated than it needs to be. Some don't realize how much the truth costs. Some never realize what people sacrificed to find truths. Truth has many layers for a reason. In order to find the truth you seek, you must sacrifice your time, yourself, and who knows what else. To find a new truth, isn't always so simple as it's been told. Developing the theory of relativity didn't take nothing, Einstein was a genius, but he put in work, he put in his own time. Everyone never realizes how much work it took to establish what seems like basics to us. Finding truth is never easy, however is it worth it? That's an answer you have to find for yourself. There are some truths in life that you must discover for yourself, some truths are different for everyone. But, sometimes some truths are better left untouched. Not every truth is good to know. We'll never find all of the truths in this universe. And that's okay, we'll never know everything. Sometimes knowing too much isn't good, after all it's sometimes best when thing are left buried, never to be found again. This applies to secrets too, there are some secrets that need to stay hidden and buried. Some. Not all, sometimes lying hurts more than telling the straight truth, even if the truth is painful. Some truths were never meant to stay hidden, some were meant to be discovered. Sometimes people try to find truths for things that don't have a truth. Sometimes there aren't answers. That's the hard part, humanity is always looking for new truths and answers, when sometimes it's out of reach or there is no answer. A wandering mind isn't always a great thing, his mind wanders a lot, he contemplates and asks questions that he knows there are no answers, but he can't help his curiosity, asking these questions only left him unsatisfied and wanting answers. He's just a curious person. Instead of paying attention he was lost in his mind after what Francis said. He wasn't even sure how he started thinking about truths and stuff. How did he even get there? He went way too deep. It's like a rabbit hole, once you start thinking and asking questions you begin to ask more. Before you know it you're wondering how you got there. It's always like that. Always.

"Hey America! You good?" Prussia asked loudly.
Alfred was always hiding things. Alfred is always lying. It hurts a lot. But, he lies too. He knows that Alfred probably knows that too. He just wish that he would be a good enough friend for Alfred and now all he thinks is that he wasn't good enough. He wasn't trustworthy enough for Alfred. He wasn't enough. That thought haunts him. He wasn't good enough so he got dissolved. He wasn't able to help friends when they needed him. He wasn't good enough to climb over that damn Berlin Wall. He'd tried so many times. But every time he wasn't good enough. When will he be good enough for everyone?

"Yeah! I just got a bit distracted that's all." America quickly replied. Out of everyone he felt bad for lying to his family, Mathias, Feliciano, Gilbert, and the rest of his friends, if they could even be called that anymore. Sure they're acting nice to him now, but to be honest if they actually cared than they would've actually asked if he was okay, they wouldn't have insulted him. At least some of his friends didn't say or do anything, it's better than being insulted all the time. But, the three of them spilled their feelings, while he fed them lies, bullshit. He thought that he was protecting them. It was only today did he realize that he was protecting himself. He wasn't protecting anyone else. He was being selfish. He caused harm for the others because he choose to hide his secrets and true feelings. He's still naive after all those years, after all he's still a child compared to the other nations. He was a human too, deep inside, he forgets that sometimes, getting lost in his own responsibilities and burdens. He forgets that he is a human too, just like the others. He forgets that. He forgets that he doesn't need to do everything. He forgets that he is allowed to make mistakes. He forgets that he is a human that has his own needs and selfish wants. He forgets that. That's what so tragic about the nations, they forget that they are human, that they're allowed to be a human being too.