Behind Closed Doors (studentxteacher) COMPLETED

Chapter 45

“Great.” I sighed as we went into art therapy.

White paper was taped against two walls. They were six feet tall and five feet wide.

“Everyone go stand by a sheet of paper.” Jess instructed. “I want you to draw what you think you look like.”

I got a black marker and drew my figure. I drew my square shoulders, large stomach and thighs. I didn’t understand the point of it. It was honestly making me feel worse about myself, drawing my imperfections.

“Now stand against the wall, hold back any extra fabric from your clothes and your therapist is going to trace you.” Jess told everyone.

“I…” I trailed off, looking at Adam. I didn’t want his hands touching me at all.

Jess came over to us, taking Adam’s marker.

“Debbie told me that you hadn’t wanted Adam to examine you. I figured this would make you uncomfortable.” She told me when she started tracing.

“Thank you.” I smiled at her gratefully.

Jess had easily become my favorite staff member here. She was very considerate and cared for everyone here. It seemed she trusted and listened to me more than anyone else on my team.

“Now look at it.” she gestured when she finished.

I turned around and stared at the tracing. I was smaller then I had drawn. My arms and legs were little, like a child. My hips stood out a bit. I thought it was fat at first but when I put my hands on my hips, it scared me that it was complete hard bone. I was a lot thinner then I had thought.

If I gained weight, I would get more curves to my body. I’d rather have some curves then be a walking skeleton. It wasn’t normal for bones to be this prominent, I wanted to fix that.

“I want you to take the red marker and write what you think about the different parts of you, okay?” Jess handed me a marker.

“Alright.” I nodded but stopped her before she left. “Jess?”

“Yes?”

“I’ve been gaining weight so why are my bones still sticking out?” I asked her, not understanding.

“You’re still incredibly underweight, Rainah.” She smiled, sadly. “It was worse when you came.”

She left to go help others. I honestly couldn’t imagine it much worse.

“What surprised you the most about this?” Adam asked me and I stared at tracing.

“My hips are just bone.” I replied, writing that by my hips on the paper. I wrote that my arms and legs look like twigs or a little kids.

Later, Will came to get me. He smiled at me when I got in the car.

“Hey, beautiful.”

“Hey.”

“How was today?” he asked.

“Not fun. I had to talk about my parents and if I wanted a relationship with either of them.” I shook my head, the idea seemed ridiculous.

“Do you want to have a relationship with them?”

“Not my dad. Ever. Maybe at some point with my mom.” I shrugged. “My team wants everyone to come to the meeting on Friday.”

“Everyone? Meaning my parents, Zoey, Xavier, me and the girls?”

“Yeah.” I sighed, running a hand through my hair.