Is it love?

Chapter 34

MARY POV

Jughead just told us his story and it makes me so angry . He hugged me and leaved . I was crying a lot . He's like my son...I need to help..

JUGHEAD POV

        ⚠️BIG TRIGGER WARNING⚠️

I am having panic attacks very often now . I got in my room and Ronnie was in her bed . I laid down on mine and closed my eyes . I couldn't sleep .  I got up and saw that Veronica was sleeping . I kissed her forehead and massaged her cheek . I am doing it . I grabbed pieces of paper and put some things in order . When I was finished , I put the papers on a box and closed it . I grabbed another piece of paper .

"Hey ronnie . If you're reading this , it's because I did something stupid and , I'm sorry . I love you so much and it's not you're fault . I'm gonna ask you something . I want you to open this box and find you're name . Read the  letters , including yours . Then , give this box to a person that has a letter and ask them to do the same . Please Veronica . Do this for me . I love you and I'm gonna miss you . Please don't judge me . Goodbye beautiful, I love you"

I then put the pen down and tears were rolling down my cheeks now . I put a scotch on the paper and put it on the box . I then put the box trough her clothes , she'll find it soon .

I need took my blade and went in the bathroom without anyone noticing me . I started the bath and when it was getting full , I laid down in the bath . I'm done with my life . I love Veronica and Betty , but I can't take it anymore . What my dad did will always hunt me and I will never be happy because of it . I thought that I could get over it but I can't , it's too hard . I put on some old clothes . Now that the bath is full , I took a deep breath and grabbed the blade . I looked in front of me for a while and took deep breaths . I closed my eyes . I love Veronica and Betty so much and I feel bad for what I'm about to do but that's the only way that I'll be happy . I then opened my eyes and looked at my arms . I sat up and looked at them carefully .

Is that what I really want?

I wiped my tears away and then grabbed the blade . I hesitated a lot . I got it close to me and then closed my eyes and cried . I then got about half of the blaze in my skin and I gasped , it's a lot more than my little scars . I started to cry. I opened my arm and gasped. I did it again and closed my eyes , there was blood everywhere . I was breathing really heavily . I then put the blade deeper inside my other arm . I'm destroying myself for good now . I never went this far... I started to cry more and put the blade down . I looked at the ceiling and started to breath fast and heavily . "I love you Betty...I love you ronnie..." I whispered . "I'm coming mom...." I whispered and then I closed my eyes . I breathed really fast looking for blood to pulse but I don't have much . I opened my eyes and there was blood on the floor, actually it's water full of blood , the bath is too full. The water was so red . I gasped in pain and then closed my eyes ... for good this time . I was looking for air but didn't found any . I slowly stopped breathing and finally , I found peace .

VERONICA POV

I got up from a nap and got out of my room . I was about to walk down the stairs but I saw red water in the hallway , coming from under the bathroom door . I ran to it and banged on the door . "Jughead?! Are you in here?!" I yelled and banged again . I then went in my room and grabbed a bomepin. I opened the door and there was blood everywhere . I then saw Jughead , laying on the bath , with his arms opened and bleeding so much . "No...no!" I yelled and I heard Mary and Mark run up the stairs . I got above the bath and  stopped it while caressing Jughead's cold cheek . I grabbed his face and cried so much , this can't be happening to my Juggie . "Oh my god!" Mary yelled . "Mark call 911!!" She yelled and Mark cried and got the phone . "Juggie...Juggie please don't do this...I love you!" I yelled but no response . Mary was crying so much and went above the bath too . She got rid of the water in the bath but it was still red . "He's...he's dead..." Mary said . I cried so much that I had difficulty to breath . She hugged me and I hugged back . "Jughead...come on boy wake up!" Mark said getting Jughead out of the bath . He laid him down on the floor and then the front door opened roughly and we heard mans running up the stairs . They got in and pushed us out of the way . "Come on boy..." they said as they tried to wake him up . They pushed us out of the bathroom and closed the door , they didn't wanted us to see this . One of the man punched on Jughead chest hoping to wake him up but...nothing . A man got out of the bathroom and looked at us and was tearing up . "Um...we couldn't save him , sorry.." he said and I fell on the floor , crying . Mark punched the wall and Mary cried too . That's when I saw a body bag being moved by two mans . They got outside and I locked myself in my room . I started to breath heavily and I cried so so much . I lost everyone .