Her Daughter

HD ~ Chapter Twenty-Seven

After a while, my tears faded away and all that was left was my labored breathing. Zach stopped trying to console, not that he was doing a good job of it anyway. Usually, when you were trying to make someone feel better, you would tell them "everything would be okay." Zach couldn't say that now because no one knew if Cole would survive this.

I got to my feet without a word and slowly started for the house. Zach followed behind me, but I didn't pay him any attention. I felt numb to the world as I opened the kitchen door and stepped into it. It was like déjà vu. The copper smell of blood surrounding the entire house.

Three weeks ago, Cole mentioned that they had an infirmary on the first floor next to his office. I'm assuming that's where he was now. Instead of going towards it, I made my way for the stairs. Once I was half way to the second floor, Zach's voice made me pause misstep.

"You should be in there with him," he said.

Without a response, I shook my head and just continued up the stairs. Zach trotted up the steps and cut me off. "Let me go," I whispered, turning my head to the side.

"He needs you there by his side. What if this your last chance to see him?" Zach's brutal honesty took me by surprise and made this feel less like a dream and more real.

"So what?" I snapped at him. "You want me to go watch my mate die knowing that I couldn't stop it from happening? I can't do that. If I lose him, I'm won't be strong enough to move past this. I just want to go to bed so I can wake up and all of this will be over."

"That won't happen, Felicity. You can't just ignore this."

"Watch me," I said as I pushed past him and ran up the last of the steps and to the bedroom I shared with Cole while I'd been here.

Being back in this room itself brought back some memories I didn't want to revisit. Still, I couldn't help but be surrounded by those memories and his intoxicating smell. I slowly closed the door behind me and leaned heavily against it before sinking to the floor. I wrapped my arms around my stomach and tilted my head to look at the ceiling.

"Do you really hate me this much?" I asked. "Is fucking with my life fun for you?" I didn't know if I was talking to my mother or the spirits or both. I just needed an outlet. I needed someone to be angry at because it was easier to be angry than heartbroken. "I've only ever wanted him. I never asked for anything else!"

I just shook my head. This was a complete joke. I was finally happy and hopeful. Now I was struggling to find faith that I would make it out of this unscathed. I just turned my back on my family and my pack for my mate. Now, I might not even have him.

"What do I do?" I whispered, dropping my head into my hands.

I knew what I shouldn't be doing. I shouldn't be sitting on my ass doing nothing. Zach was right. I should be down there with my mate. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to go downstairs. Instead, I got up and headed into the bathroom. I shed my dirty clothes and turned on the shower. Once it was warm enough, I got in.

Once I was under the spray, I was momentarily stunned by the fact that my shampoo and soaps were still here. After taking a ragged breath, I went through the motions of getting clean without thinking about what I was doing. I finished quickly and turned off the water. After stepping out and wrapping a towel around myself, I walked to one of the dressers. I pulled out a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. When I threw those on, I simply crawled into bed, wet hair and all.

~*~*~*~*~

It was dark out when I woke up again. Immediately, I felt awful. As quickly as I could, I hurried into the bathroom and crouched next to the toilet just in time to empty whatever I had in my stomach. When I was able to pick my head up, my eyes found my bloodstained clothes from earlier and the whole process repeated itself.