Odd Ball

Be Black And Die

We pulled back up to the hotel and handed the keys to the valet who once again, took them in disgust.

"Nigga you park cars for a living. You have no room to feel any kinda way." I said to him and sauntered into the hotel and up to my- OUR room.

I waited impatiently for that bitch ass nigga Domo to come open up the room door. When his slow ass finally made it and opened the door, I tripped him and ran inside the room. Damn I should have closed the door in his face.

"Are you retarded. Do you not realize I can kill you? Do you not realize I WILL kill you?" He practically yelled in my face. I blinked once.

Twice.

"Nigga...... Fuck you." And I layer down for a nap.

Then I got right back up and snatched Domo's phone out of his hands, I went to the calendar app.

Today is the first of the month. Damn rent due, not mind cause I live with my mama but yeaaaa good luck to the rest of you.

Giving the phone back to a fuming Domo, I got up to explore.

"Where you going?" Domo asked me.

"Shut the fuck up."

"Bit-." He started but I cut him off.

"Didn't I say shut the fuck up? I be damned if a nigga keep talking after I tell him to shut the fuck up."

Domo stood up quickly so I threw my post up. He just stared and shook his head at me.

"You act too much like a nigga" he told me.

"And you act too much like a bitch." I retorted.

I hit a quick job out the room before he could say anything else or hit me. I'm a female but deep down in my soul is a real hood ass nigga from the south.

As I was walking down the hallway toward the elevator, I heard it ding just as it opened. Out stepped 2 Latino men. Both of them were wearing all black, even their shoes were black Air Force ones.

That's how you know they mean business cause who the hell would wear those.

One even had high tops, oh no. He's a real shooter.

I back peddled as fast as I could to our room and banged on the door, doing so drew attention to me. They observed me then their eyes filled with recognition and they advanced.

Gahhhhdamnnnnn Domo.

Bitch ass taking his sweet Jesus time opening the door.

I finally heard heard the door click when the men were about 69 feet from me, one started to pull out a gun as the door swung open. I dived into the room, almost tackling Domo in the process. I got off of him and slammed the door shut, ensuring to lock the door.

"Latin *pant* out *pant* good gawd *pant*" I tried to speak and catch my breath at the same time.

Good god I'm out of shape. I haven't even done anything!

Domo looked at me questioningly as rapid pounding on the door started.

"I think Latin Kings are out there." I finally got out.

Domo got on full alert, he reached into his pants.

"Domo! Now is not the time to be playing with yourself!" I shrieked at him. He gave me a sour face. "Ion' got my gun."

This bitch ass nigga.

HOW ARE YOU A GANG BANGER AND YOU DONT KEEP YOUR STRAP ON YOU!

The pounding in the door got more and more violent, I'm sure pretty soon they'll start shooting.

I'm too pretty to be shot.

Domo rushed over to to window, mind you, we were on the 3rd floor.

He looked at me and I shook my head so hard I probably gave myself brain damage.

Okay, well..... More brain damage.

"You gotta' do watchu' gotta' do." He said to me as he jerked the window open.

"Naw nigga the only thing I GOTTA do is be black and die. I would say pay taxes but fuck Uncle Sam."

Nevertheless, I took my black ass over to the window and looked out. Eh... I've jumped from higher.

Don't ask.

Okay since you begged.

There was a time in my life that I wanted to be a stunt double, so I jumped from a few buildings for my audition tape.

Who knew you needed special training and safety equipment to do that stuff.

Crazy.

But I took a climber over the window seal just as a gun shot bursted through the door.

Oh hell no.

I jumped out that window faster than apple releases iPhones, then took off running.

Fuck Domo.

I must not have been running very fast because 30 seconds later, that bitxh was running right beside me.

Sonic built ass bitch.