Odd Ball

That Sentimental Shit

"She starts off with a full back roundhouse kick. Wait for it...... Wait for it..... BOOM! SHE EXECUTES A
PERFECT LANDING! THE BIGGEST
UPSET IN THE SPORT! BLUE INSERT LAST NAME HERE, HAS BEAT SIMONE BILES AT HER OWN GAME!" Mint yelled after I did a cartwheel and falling onto my butt.

I did a mock bow and dusted my bottom off.

Squishy.

"I want eggs." I mumbled and walked toward the kitchen as my stomach let out a whale call.

Mint followed closely behind probably to supervise me because he doesn't think I can handle the kitchen by myself.

You burn a couple houses down a couple times and all of a sudden you not master chef anymore.

Shake my head.

In my defense those noodles didn't tell me how much water to use, all it said was 5 minutes, therefor is wasn't my fault they caught on fire.

And the hot wings said SUGGESTED heat, not actual, so I turned it up a bit. No harm no foul, how was I supposed to know they made that much smoke.

It's pretty safe to say I'm on a first name basis with all the firefighters in the city.

Dammit conscious why do you always do this! Back to the story line (like the bitch ass author got one anyway, she pulling this whole story from her ass.)

For once in my life I successfully made eggs without burning, breaking, cracking, destroying, or injuring anything or anybody.

Go me!

As I slurped down the last of my milky, sunny side up eggs, there was a rapid beating on the door.

Mint jumped to go answer the door and I speed walked behind him with my fork still in my hand.

He unlatched about 14 deadbolts with his scared ass, and swung open the door to reveal an even more battered and bruised Coco.

She had tears streaming down her swollen, discolored face. Mints face started to get red as his cousin cried.

"Daaaammmnnnnnnnnn!" I said loudly. "You got that ass tore up." I said shaking my head disappointedly.

Mint gave me a harsh glare, " I'm finna' kill this nigga." He said with finality.

Coco latched onto his arm, "Mint no. Please no. I love him I don't want to see him hurt." I looked at her like she was stupid.

"You know what's crazy? Hurting someone you love. You know what's even crazier. Thinking that someone who hurts you, loves you. That's not love you dumb ass." I informed her.

"I know..... but it's all I know. Might as well stick with the devil you know." She sobbed.

Mint ushered her into the the house fully and guided her to the couch where she explained what happened.

"I was about to brush my teeth but the cap on the toothpaste was stuck and it wouldn't come off. Gio came into the restroom and he scared me and I squeezed the toothpaste and the top popped off and hit him in the eye."

"............... So you telling me........ that this nigga beat you like some douch over a toothpaste cap....... a fucking toothpaste cap?" I asked.

She nodded her head with a sniffle then suddenly the door that Mint never locked back was swung open by an angry looking Italian-ish man.

That's that Fuck nigga Gio.

I jumped off the couch and ran at him full speed.

I lifted my fork and was aiming at his eye but I'm uncoordinated and got his eyebrow.

His eyebrow started gushing blood.

Damn.

This a sharp ass fork.

I went back in as he was stunned and punched him in his nose. He fell onto his butt, I kicked him in the face and made him fall to his back.

I straddled him and held my fork to his jugular in case the bitch want to move.

"COCO! COME GET YO' LICKS IN! THIS NIGGA STRONG HURRY UP!"

I screamed at Coco as Gio started to struggle under me. She came over hesitantly.

"When I get out of this imma kill both of y'all bitches." Gio spoke with so much venom I flinched and unconsciously pressed the fork harder against his neck.

Something in Coco must have snapped because a sudden look of rage passed over her face and she kicked the literal spit out of Gio.

I would know. The shit landed on me.

"BITCH!" I squealed im disgust.

"Sorry." She gave a sheepish look then went back to stomping Gio out.

Bitch had on timberlands too. Good job.

After Gio was literally unrecognizable and unconscious, I took the fork away from his neck. I got off of him and turned to see Mint just standing there.

"Nigga you coulda' helped me." I said  to him.

"You had it all under control, plus a nigga wasn't tryinna' get stabbed with that fork." He shrugged nonchalantly.

I turned to Coco who had a small smile of content on her face. "Thank you. It's like I'm free now." She wrapped me in a tight hug which I stood awkwardly and accepted.

I pushed her off of me, "Alright Alright, I don't do that sentimental shit."