I met him at a very young age.
He cut a hole in my brain
and drained my creativity,
no imaginary friends could be created.
His goal was to be the only friend
of the lonely kid.
His goal was to have control.
He achieved it.
He discovered my talents and flaws
and used both against me.
He allowed me to think every minor
inconvenience was my fault.
The voice in my head
that wanted to play and explore
was replaced by him.
All I had in my head was
his abusive manner of
making me believe
I was safe within the chaos.
My mate taught me how to
become chaos.
My mate taught me how to
fake a smile and laughter.
My mate taught me how to
punish myself and enjoy it
but understand the idea of guilt
behind it.
My mate taught me how to
hide physical scars
just as well as
emotional scars.
My mate taught me how to
internalize truths and opinions.
My mate taught me that
this world was not the place where
I wanted to exist.
Depression taught me
that when nobody else is there
because you pushed them away
he will stick around,
because in the end
he is your only friend.
He will be there forever.
Depression is my best mate.
