The Elite

XII (rewritten)

Can we talk?

Jacqueline had been laying in her bed for five minutes since the text went through. Thoughts were swirling in her head and it was difficult to catch one and think over it. What did he want to talk about? Was it about today? Was it about them possibly being something more than just friends? Was he upset with her? There was only one way for Jacqueline to figure out what was going through Beckett's head. So, she opened her window and made her way down to the ground below. Once her feet hit the ground she grabbed her bike and pedaled her way to the Montgomery residence.

Once arriving at the large brick house she pulled out her phone and sent him a text announcing that she was here. Beckett quickly responded saying he would meet her outside in less than a minute. After waiting for over a minute Beckett finally walked out of his side door and greeted her with a smile. "Hey, Jackie." He pulled her in for a short hug before directing her towards the park near his house that they would play in when they were little. Jacqueline smiled as she reminisced on the simpler times when their only worry was getting picked to be the seeker for hide and seek.

"So, what did you want to talk about, Beckett?" As soon as they sat down on the swing set that she had fallen off multiple times many years earlier she got straight to business. He cleared his throat and turned to face her fully.

"We've been friends for years and I think I've always had an inkling of romantic feelings for you, but it's been heightened recently. Earlier today in the car I think is when I first realized it. I don't know if you feel the same thing, but I didn't want to keep it from you, because we're always so open and honest with each other." While Beckett was going on his spiel all Jacqueline could think was 'oh no'. She knew this would be the most likely outcome out of all of her thoughts, but she didn't come prepared. Her feelings were something she didn't like to acknowledge and she, along with many others, could safely say that she was emotionally unavailable. "Jacqueline?"

"Oh, um. I don't-I don't really know what to say. I'm not sure." She rushed out while diverting her eyes away from his, because she couldn't bear to see the pain flash in his eyes. It was quiet and uncomfortable for a while.

"Okay, Jacqueline. I'll see you tomorrow." Before she could respond he had already rushed back towards his house and away from her. Leaving her alone in her favorite place as a child. A place that now seemed cursed after one night a year ago and now after this night. It was dark and daunting as she looked around and thought about her childhood.

Jacqueline realized as she was sitting there that she needed to talk to someone. She needed to get out of the park and away from Beckett's house. She needed to get away from Beckett, and the others. Just for a night. And so she texted Elliot and he invited her over. Little did she know that this meeting would soon lead to her destruction.

☒☒☒

Jacqueline knocked three times and Elliot swung the door open with a smile on his face. It quickly faded once he saw the distraught expression on her face as she walked into his home. As he assessed her Spencer's nagging voice was on his mind. He could imagine how happy she would be once he told her Jacqueline had come over. And if what Jacqueline was going to be juicy and worthy information then he could imagine that malicious smirk on her lips. Elliot pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind and decided on consoling his friend for the time being.

"Jacqueline, what's wrong?" He watched with close eyes as she sat on his couch and starting playing with her fingers while looking around. She wasn't herself right now. Or maybe, she was herself and she put up a facade at school and in front of everyone.

"I-I um, I just needed to talk. I can't do this with anyone else, but you, I can do it with you. Please, just promise me this won't leave your house. Promise me that this won't be mentioned. Please, Elliot." Jacqueline was pleading at this point and she visibly flinched when she heard the desperation in her voice. Elliot nodded in compliance and sat down next to her.

"Beckett likes me. Like likes me. He has feelings for me and he just told me and I think he was expecting me to have feelings for him as well. But, I just, I don't know. I don't know what that feels like. I don't know how to express it and I don't know what's going to happen. Beckett is one of my closest friends and we've been friends since childhood. Our parents always talked about how we would be married in the future and I feel like his feelings are just fake. It's expected of us to date and to be in love and he may have the wrong idea of what love is. He can't love me, he just can't. There's no way. I can't bring this up to anyone else, not even Abbot. I can't explain the situation to our friends and then it is awkward amongst the entire group. I can't. I can't, Elliot."

Jacqueline hadn't loved or been loved before, Elliot could tell from her words and behavior. This was a foreign feeling for her. It was truly heartbreaking to see Jacqueline Kingsley, the Queen, act like this. To act as if she had never been loved and that she didn't know what it was.

The silence was deafening as she stared at the ground and he stared at her. "Jacqueline, do you not believe that he truly loves you?" As she looked up into his eyes it hit him. This beautiful girl had never experienced love.

"We were taught from a young age that love is weakness."

"That doesn't answer the question."

"How can he love me?" The pain in her voice rang through his ears as his eyes softened.

"I don't know, Jacqueline. Love is a strange thing and it comes in many different ways and if he says he loves you he must love you. Don't have doubts about his feelings when he told you straight-up. Don't think of what you were taught about love and don't think of how it's been expected of you two to love each other. He loves you. Why do you not believe it?" It took her a moment to think about this question and she leaned back into the couch and brought her knees up while pondering her answer.

"My mother told me that no one could ever love me if I wasn't perfect. She told me that love was a meaningless feeling. When I was little I used to sit in my room and plan my dream wedding. One day when I was thirteen she ripped that happiness away from me by telling me these things. Even though love is a meaningless feeling she said I wasn't enough for people to feel that towards me. She reduced me to nothing. I'm not enough for him, Elliot. If his feelings are true and if I feel the same way I'm still not enough. He'd be happier without me. They'd all be happier without me." Elliot expected her to be crying at this point or to at least tear up. But her face was blank and her eyes held no emotion.

"Your mother was wrong. People have loved you and will continue to love you until your last breath. Don't listen to her. She can not tell you what you are and who you are, because you are something and you are enough. Beckett loves you and that should show that you are enough."

"I know what people think of me, Elliot. Everyone despises and envies me because I took the position that they all desired. The position that entails me being an ice queen. It's breaking me, Elliot. I can't feel it anymore."

"You can't feel what?"

"Anything. I'm empty. I'm like a black hole. I suck people in and ruin them. It's what I do."

"Get yourself away from that then."

"Oh, Elliot. So naive. If only it were that easy. I'm too far gone, and there's no coming back." The sad smile was enough to show him that she truly believed she was as good as dead.

Elliot wanted to help her, but he knew that if he didn't relay this information to Spencer, his family would be ruined. So, once Jacqueline left he called Spencer and told her everything.

Poor Jacqueline Kingsley. You shouldn't have trusted someone other than yourself. It will be your downfall.