Under The Silence

Thief

Rin walked back to the dorms in silence and his own thoughts ate away at him.  When he finally reached them, the silence didn't end. It stretched out into the foreseeable future as he studied.

Even though Rin saw and read the words on the page he retained none of it.
His thoughts clouded his mind and pushed any information away. Thst took over his mind with a thick fog that seaped down through his lungs and around his heart and in his gut. They rolled and twisted and turned his empty stomache while squeezing his aching heart with a vice like grip of guilt and self-loathing.

"Rin! Dinner!" Kuro called, startling Rin. It was 6 already? Practice with Shuro ended at 5.
Whatever.

He got up and went downatairs. "Hey there Uko." He smiled. Uko smiled too.
"Hey Rin! Look! I made a nice and full dinner for you!" He lifted up the box to show Rin.
It really was amazing, but Rinwas trying not to turn green at the smell of cooked meat.

Smiling through his flip-flopping stomache, Rin thanked Ukobach for Dinner and took the box with him deap into the forest.

Rin didn't want to waste another great and full meal, so he followed his feet to a more... Less desirable part of the cityscape. He knew it well for his fighting days.
In any given alley at any time of day, you could find a homeless folk in need of a good meal. Why not? Not like he would eat it, and foos ulisent to be eaten.

Sure enough, Rin ended up giving it to some little girl who seemed to protect her older brother from the approaching stranger.
Rin shrugged them off and left the 3 course meal for them to eat.
Then, he hid in the forest the train.  Always train.
What else is there to do?

Oh yeah, study. Exactly what he did when he came back an hour-ish later.
Training had cleared his head well enough, he actually learned somthing.
Rin studied for 3 hours bedore being told it was time to get some sleep.

At 10 he showered and went to bed to try to sleep.

Not!
But if Kuro knew Rin was avoiding sleep he'd be even more worried than he was with Rin's nightmares.

Even so, the darkness and the silence allowed his thoughts to take over. They dragged him down more and more until finally he fell asleep around 12.

As usual, he woke up around 3 from a nightmare. Then he went to the roof the train.
Always train.

Hone his fighting skills. Hone his flames. Perfect everything then make sure they stay perfected.

Rinse and Repeat.

Rin didn't cut again, just scratched and went to bed. It hurt Yukio to have to watch his brother cry himself to sleep. He wished there was something he could do to help.

Wednesday rolled around and Bon had been at his worst.
Yukio was appalled by Bon's behavior, but the longer it went on, he couldn't help but feel like there was something off about him.
Not that is matters. He really hurt Rin. Literally.

Today he brought his own Holy water bullets to P.E. As in, they weren't diluted.

If he had been hitting anywhere besides his shoulders, Bon could have killed Rin.

Rin had finished training and reading his notes. Now he sat scratching his arms and letting silent tears fall from his eyes. He wanted to cut. He wanted to cut so bad. He wanted to scar, to bleed.
But they took a blessed blade. Where could he find a blessed blade?

Yukio watched as his brother suddenly stopped rocking back and forth and stood up.
He paced in fluid steps around the room. Finally he appeared to have made up his mind on whatever was bothering him, but he didn't go back to his side of the room.

Instead, he walked over to Yukio's bed and pulled a case out from underneath the Yukio didn't even in ow he knew was there.

But what would he-... Yukio felt his blood run cold.
'No. No, Rin! Please! Don't!' Yukio cried out, but Rin couldn't hear him. He just continued to open the locks on the case and take out one of the many blessed blades. This one wasn't deluted at all and much sharper than the one from school. Rin couldn't help a small broken smile and he cradled it in his hands.

With a touch all too gentle for the situation, Rin held the handle of the blade in his left hand while using his right to push his sleeve up.
Rin seemed to relax after the first cut was made. He watched his blood bubble out for the wound a bit before adding another cut.
And another.
And another.

By the time Rin finally stopped the repeated motion he sighed in relief and leaned back against Yukio's bed.
He looked down at his arms, content with his pain. The sharp sting that came when he moved. The drying gooy feeling of the blood.

Rin tossed his head back with a short breathy laugh. "Geeze. How pathetic am I?" He asked no one in particular.
Yukio felt his heart clench. 'You're not pathetic Rin. You're hurt. I promise I will do everything I can to fix it.'

More silence. Kuro and Uko were off playing so Rin really was all alone.

"Damn it!" He snapped out of nowhere, slamming his fist on the ground. Yukio could see tears welling in his older brother's eyes.
Rin tossed the blade from hand to hand, muttering to himself.
"I really am a demon. I hurt everyone I care about or drive them away and get them to hate me. I can't not hurt anybody. I even hurt myself. I have NO self control, do I? Course not. I'm the spawn of Satan. I even stole from my brother! And for what? To fulfill my selfish addiction? Pathetic worthless demon!"

Rin had been clenching his chest in pure emotional pain, but let go. The tears started to flow and with a cry of pure frustration from his emotional torment, Rin slashed the blade across his own chest.
It wasn't too deep, but it was deeper than the others and seemed to mean something completely different.

The half-demon lurched over as he sobbed loudly. "It hurts! Why does it hurt?! I don't want this! I want this to stop! Please! Just make it stop!" Rin was crying out to anyone who would listen in and time and place no one could hear.

No one, except for his brother, who sobbed with him.
Could Rin survive the rest of the week?
A genuine question that he never would have thought of asking before putting on this stupid pin.

Cutting was added to the daily routine from that point.
After night training, Rin would sit down and read those stupid notes he collects throughout the day.
Why does he do that to himself?
Then he cuts, takes a shower and sits around thinking. Rin doesn't bother sleeping anymore. even in class he just loses himself in his head.

Yukio can't remember the last time he saw his brother eat. Or give an honest smile. Rin looks worse everyday. Kuro and Ukobach are both really worried. Shura and Izumo have always been concerned for Rin, but Yukio can see everyone is concerned. 
Between the bags under his eyes, lack of witty jokes, and Rin's heart breaking eyes, nobody really buys his act. Rin buys it though and thinks nobody can see past his mask.

Shura keeps trying to talk with Rin, but Rin shrugs her off.
It almost as if he doesn't want help which Yukio thinks as strange.

Rin's special down hill was fast and steady. Helped along by his treatment in class and his own self loathing. He had no one to talk to and distanced himself from those who care.
Plus there was Bon.

Bon.
Yukio twitched with anger and confusion when he saw him.
Bon attacked Rin every chance he gor and beat him to a pulp, sometimes leaving him unconscious. Bon laughed sadisticaly while silent tears flowed from Rin's eyes. Rin never fought back.
Just like with Yukio, Rin never struck Bon. He just absorbed everything with little to voice his complaint.

Friday was Yukio's breath of fresh air. Not only would Rin be free of the class torture after today, but tommorow would be the last day of his hell. As soon as this stupid charm where's off, Yukio plans to talk to Rin. Take back his knife and hide his weaponry better. Get Rin some help.
Oh yeah,
And yell at Metphistoe!