Being gay is a curse when the homophobia you grew up with was so bad that you're homophobic yourself. Especially when you're into unavailable guys like your roommate, whose girlfriend is everything you're not (though appearances can be deceiving). S...
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Johanna and I hugged for a good ten minutes while I broke down. And she just sat there with an endless supply of comfort and patience. She patted my back and whispered, "It's okay," and, "let it all out," on repeat. I didn't have to say why I was crying. She knew.
When I finally stopped sobbing like a little baby, I pulled back and wiped my face dry, and as I reached for a tissue to blow my nose, she asked softly, "So does that mean you're gay?"
I nodded.
"I see... Well, I am a little surprised, to be honest, but you're still my little brother, alright? I don't care."
After letting out an exhausted sigh, I whispered, "Just... please don't tell anyone."
"I promise," she said, nodding very seriously. "Not a word. Everyone knows what happens to gay people here. I can imagine why you... you know."
"Pretended to be straight?" I finished, and she chuckled. "I wish I was."
Her smile faded and she put her hand on my shoulder. "Nate... Don't worry about what they think. Just do what makes you happy, okay?" She gave me a smile and then sat up a little straighter. "Now, am I right in assuming that those two girls you mentioned are actually boys?"
"Yeah, well... Yes."
"Okay, so boy number one is already in a relationship and boy number two is... different. What does that mean?"
"He's not a boy."
"What?"
"He's transgender. I found out yesterday."
"Oh."
I looked down at the bed and let out another sigh.
I felt so... betrayed. Carl talked to me and even flirted with me several times and I had to find out that he wasn't even a guy through his YouTube channel? Why couldn't he just tell me before I got too far into this? I was already starting to like him and everything...
"Well," Johanna said, "if it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's a duck."
"What?"
"If he looks and sounds like a boy, he's obviously a boy, so I don't see the problem."
"But he's not... a real boy."
She gave me a weird look. "Yes, he is."
"But—"
"Nate, you can't do this. You can't tell me you're afraid of people hating you when they find out you're gay and then do the same thing to someone else. You are different. He is different. You—"
"But it's not the same!"
She scoffed and got up from the bed. "Fine. Be like that. Be an ignorant asshole and hate on someone just for being himself."
