"I was a child and she was a child
In this kingdom by the sea,
But we loved with a love that was more than love
I and my Annabel Lee"
Pep's words were soft and lulling as if trying to distract Tash from her current personal woes, and without a doubt, the charms were working. All Tash could think of was to make sweet love to Pep while she whispered sweet words into her ear with her hand around her throat and her fingers deep inside of her, so deep she could feel it shuffle her stomach around.
Tash had forgotten all about her self doubt, her seemingly rational question of lost admiration. She was admired widely for her androgynous beauty and she knew that she was always requested.
All Tash ever wanted was to love and be loved, all she ever wanted was to be wanted. Her mother's love was natural but she yearned for something more, she yearned for something deep. It was all or nothing for her, she loved with the ferocity and the intensity of an active volcano and sometimes she felt that it was too much to ask a person to receive or to give back the kind of love and energy she exudes. She wanted desperately to believe that Pep loved her, she loved her enough to shower her with gifts and admiration but did she love her enough to put this all down one day and live a normal life with her?
Tash wants what Camille and Tye have. Cam had offered her countless times to take her away from all of this, send her back to school or maybe back home to her parents and old friends but Tash was already maddened with her love for Pep, she was already bridging insanity and she would never be able to live without her lover.
"Pep?" Tash fiddled with her lover's dreads, she loved them. "Do you ever plan on getting married?"
Pep wasn't expecting the question but she'd say anything to ease Tash's mind. "If it's to you then most definitely."
Tash hummed feeling satisfied at the response she got. She knew they couldn't get married here but the thought that Pep would make such a commitment to her made her feel at ease. Tash wouldn't dare ask Pep to put her lifestyle down to accommodate the easy-going life that she wanted but she could only hope that Pep would want to settle down with her in their house atop the hill, promise rings on their fingers and two dogs lying peacefully at their feet while they sat on the balcony looking over at the mass of trees that took up their yard space.
"You're so beautiful," Pep rested her finger under Tash's chin so that she could lift her face up to hers.
"You're so beautiful and I want to continue telling you that for the rest of my life. I know I've promised many things and went back on it but from here on out, I'm going to keep those promises to you because you deserve it but can you promise me one thing?" Pep fixed her expression so that Tash could see how serious she was and that her next statement was not up for debate.
Tash nodded, "please stop working and come back home to me." Pep sighed for theatrics.
"I was really hurt by the statement you made. I thought I was more than just one of your girls." Tash was an emotional mess, nothing and everything brought tears to her eyes.
"I know and I'm really, really sorry. There will never be a repeat of that and I can promise you that. I was jealous and it was an impulsive thing to say. You're my top girl, my only girl, my number one priority." Pep placed random kisses all over Tash's face.
Tash smiled broadly while softly chuckling and enjoying the attention her lover gave to her, this was why she couldn't leave; this and also the fact that she didn't want to.
"I'll stop. I'm not doing much here anyways. It's like no one is excited to hear Kashmoney anymore." The word tasted foreign on her lips but it was still her self acclaimed alias.
Pep burst out laughing because little did she know that she was actually still a hot commodity and her clients missed her, they even requested a welcome back party but Pep threw a tantrum because she didn't want all of that attention on her Tash.
"I'm still excited to hear, Tash, Kash, Tasheka. I'm excited to hear any fucking thing you wanna call yourself, as long as you remember to call yourself mine." Pep's words seemed to surprise even herself. Tash's heart skipped several beats, her cheeks felt inflamed and her lungs were about to explode.
"I'm yours." Tash cooed.
"Nobody else's." Pep softly gripped at her throat pulling her in for a heated makeout session.
"I never really asked you this but will you be my girlfriend? My partner in life? My everything? You're already mine but I want you to feel as if you have a choice." Pep's Cheshire pus grin lit up her face and caused Tash to laugh out.
"Of course, I could never say no to a smile like that." Tash kissed Pep's nose.
"I love you, I hope you know that." Pep's soft profession of her love caught Tash off guard but it's something she has wanted to hear her confess out loud since their last fight a month ago.
"I love you. I've been loving you quietly hoping that you loved me too." Pep wiped Tash's tears away knowing that she cried for almost everything and it made her want to protect her kind heart from the world and maybe even from herself.
"Let's go home, ma chérie."
25. Fault.
Start from the beginning
