V E N O M - Bts, Yoongi

20

"yoongi?". I heard a knock on my door, pulling me out of my sleep. it was hoseok.

i groaned, feeling the intense headache from the amount of liquor I drank. I checked my phone, it was the next day. we had practice in a few hours. hoseok knocked on the door again.

"yoongi, we want to talk to you. are you awake now?" he asked. I sighed. I couldn't lock myself up in my room forever. I got up, and looked in the mirror. I was still in the same clothes as yesterday, and my hair looked a mess. I guess I had really let myself go.

I walked to the door, and opened it with a blank expression, but even bothering to try and make myself look good. when I did, hoseok looked at me sadly.

"what." I said carelessly, although i knew what he was gonna say.

"yoongi we want to talk to you about yesterday" he said. I yawned and nodded, then pushed past him and walked out of my room. he looked down, then silently followed behind me.

I walked to the living room to see the same settup as we always had. everyone sat in a circle, with a space on a couch made just for me. I ignored the couch and grabbed another cahir from the dinning room and pulled it up. I saw seokjin look down disapointedly from me nkot sitting next to him.

"i know what your all gonna say" I said. "I know, don't do that again, where here for you, blah blah. let's just get it over with"

"actually..."namjoon said. "we wanted to apologize. I sat up a bit in my seat, my careless demeanor fading slightly.

"apologize?" I asked. he nodded.

"you were right. we were so focuses on stopping you from hurting yourself we didn't think about how it made you feel" he said.

"i guess it was some crazy motherly instinct" jin laughed slightly. " I was so scared you were gonna do it again, it was all I focused on."

"we thought all your problems would go away if you didn't hurt yourself anymore. turns out we were wrong" jimin said. taehyung nodded sadly, and jungkook bit his lip trying to hold back his tears. I was shocked atrheir sudden apology, but I didn't let it get to my head.

"so what now?" I asked. "why are you telling me this?"

"we were thinking...." namjoon said. he looked over at jin, and he nodded. namjoon sighed then looked back at me. " we don't think we can handle this on our own. we told pd nim, and he agreed. we think you should see a therapist.."

"what?" I asked. i started getting annoyed." why?"

"we just think it would be good for you to talk to someone, and try and help you stop doing these things.." seokjin said reasuringly, but I couldn't calm down.

"you can't handle me yourself so your pushing me off to some nobody with a license. what makes you think a stranger can help me? you already said you think you can't"

"it's not just a stranger, it's a professional. they know how to deal with this kind of stuff" jimin said, trying to reassure me, but it didn't work. angrilly, I jumped out of my chair.

"your just trying to get rid of me! don't talk to me if you don't want me here!" I yelled. I started to storm off, but namjoon grabbed my shoulder and forced me to turn around.

"yoongi! were trying to help you! you can't blame everything on us!" he said. I pushed his arm off of me.

" Then is it my fault?! huh? tell me namjoon?! WHO'S FAULT IT IT!"

"IT'S NO ONES FAULT!" taehyung yelled. everyone stopped, surprised at his sudden outburst.  this whole time, taehyung was always the quiet one. he didn't really know how to act in this kind of situation, but it seemed like he snapped. he sniffled, and started crying. " weve all fucked up. get over it. I want to go back to how it was before, back when we all actually liked another and had fun. no one smiles anymore, no one laughs anymore, everyone's looks down all the time..."

I looked down. I was so focused on myself this whole time. I didn't even think about how much I was hurting the others, and when they tried to tell me I thought they were being selfish. I looked away from the group. I didn't have the right to look at them after how horrible I'd been to them.

" this is all my fault..." I said with a blank expression. taehyung face softened, and he started to look worried.

"hyung, I didn't mean that..." he said, but I interrupted him.

"no, taehyung. it's the truth. you can't deny it. I'm bringing you guys down. everyday I just keep making this situation worse and worse. it's my fault that no one's happy anymore, it's my burden"

"then why don't you fix it?" namjoon asked. I looked up at namjoon, not expecting to hear that sort of answer from him. he stood up, and walked over to me. he handed me a small pamflict about a mental health center not to far from our dorm. "I'm not saying everything is your fault, but if you try and get better, than it will at least give all of us peace of mind. we're only like this because we want you to be happy. we can't be happy if your not"

I gulped, and looked down at the pamflict. the place seemed pretty legit, and it wasn't as expensive as I thought a therapist would be. I sighed, and shoved the paper in my pocket.

"fine. but if I don't like it, I'm not going again" I said. i saw namjoon and the other members start to smile. i didn't want them to see my emotions, so I turned around and walked away.

I opened my dorm room, and locked the door behind me. I pulled out the pamflict again, and stared at it.

"what have I just got myself into..."