Sad & Happy [RusAme]

Chapter 4

Note from the author: Sorry for the long wait... :( But holy moly, thank you so much for 1.2k views! I never thought so many people would read this. I'm startled... in a good way! XD Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!
 ___________________________

Russia tried to collect the right words to say. He tried to find something to to disprove America's words, but he couldn't find any... Because the longer he thought about it, the less he wanted to admit that he didn't hate America. And he began thinking that maybe, just maybe, he really does hate America. It was like there was an unknown power pressing down the needed words to stop this upcoming conflict from happening. And so instead of saying that he didn't hate America, he spit on the ground. 

"The cold war was a battle of propaganda, America." The words left his mouth without much thinking about it. America tilted his head in confusion. "What are you trying to say?" America asked and he raised one of his hands. Russia tensed, preparing for a punch that never came. Instead of punching Russia, America just rubbed the eyes under his sunglasses. He is wiping away tears, Russia thought to himself.

"This propaganda war..." Russia continued. "All those prejudices, expectations..." There was a moment of silence. "It never really ended, huh? I was no naive. I thought that after the cold war, you would hold yourself out off the conflicts of other countries. But here you are, still doing the same thing. You are just making it worse. Didn't you hear South Korea's words? The korean war was something between them both. Not YOU and your stupid hate for communism! You are no hero, you are just one of the reason why WE can't have nice things!" Russia yelled at America, who flinched at the sudden emotional outburst from Russia.

Russia took a step forward, closing the gap between him and America. "But only I have to deal with the stupid consequences from the past, while you are doing the same shit all over again and again! It's not fucking fair!" He grabbed for America's shoulders and pushed him up against the wall. His anger was getting the better of him. "So of course I hate you!"

Wait, no. I didn't want to say that. That's not true. That's a lie. I'm just jealous. 

Russia's face went blank as he saw America's sunglasses slip out of place from the powerful push. He was now able to see America's face staring back at him. He looked scared.

Suddenly Russia heard the footsteps of other students coming closer. They were talking to eachother. Immediately his anxiexty spiked up in worry. He quickly turned his head to the left while he was still pressing America's body against the wall. America's leg were dangling in the air.

America used the distraction of the students to raise his legs and then, with a swift movement, he forcefully kicked his feet into Russia's stomach. The attacked country let out a yelp and dropped America on the ground. Russia held his stomach in pain and his surrounding blurred into lights and shadows for a moment. What just happend? What is going on? Russia was confused.

He had no time to recover from the blow, because now he could feel arms pressing around his neck. "What the-" He wasn't able to end his sentence, because the hands tightend the grip. Quickly Russia realized that America had him in a headlock. 

"You asshole..." America mumbled out. Russia realized there were tears dropping down on the bright green lawn, but it weren't his tears. The tears were from America. "I was only trying to help. You are so mean, you know? Why do you never understand me..." Russia let out a snort. His head was getting dizzy from the lack of oxygen. It was hard to even make out America's words. What was he trying to archive with this anyway? Russia needed to breathe.

His hands struggled desperatly against America's arm in no avail and then, withouth thinking about it for too long, he just let his teeth sink into America's arm. His sharp teeth easily broke America's white skin and blood gathered at the sunken wound. He was able to taste some of the blood in his mouth. Immediately the damaged arm around Russia's neck loosend and Russia took the opportunity to free himself from the headlock. 

He quickly gasped for air and wasn't able to suppress some coughs. As Russia glared back into America's eyes he was surprised to see no expression of anger or disgust in his face. Quite the opposite actually: America just looked really sad. Russia stared back at the other country in confusion.

"Don't look at me like that, you just tried to kill me!" Russia shouted and America corrected the postion of his sunglasses, successfully hiding his eyes behind the sunglasses again. "You attacked me first! And if trapping you in a headlock is the only way to make you listen to me, so be it!" It was obvious that America was a bit angry now as well.

Russia was about to tackle America to the ground, but suddenly someone grabbed him by his collar, preventing the attack from happening. He let out a sound of displeasure. 

"Stop this nonsense, Rosiya." Russia went quiet as he realized that it was Ukraine's voice. Before he could say anything, another voice spoke up. "What happend here?" Ukraine, America and Russia looked up into United Nation's eyes.

America was the first one to speak up. "Russia started it." He said as he crossed his arms. "Oh, you little shi-" Russia wanted to yell something back at him, but Ukraine shut him up by softly hitting the back of his head. Russia rubbed that place of his head in embarrassment. Soviet used to shut him up the same way. United Nation just sighed. "You both are going to detention today after school. You heard me? I don't want you both to start another war." He gave them a glare. Quickly the countries nodded in agreement.

Canada ran up to them as United Nation took his leave. "Brother! Are you okay?" He asked and poked America's still lighty bleeding arm. The wound looked awful and painful. America stared at Russia with an unreadable expression for a moment, before he turned his head to his brother. "Yeah, let's go." he said with a more cheerful voice and Russia was sure he was just faking his happiness, because he was able to see America rubbing the wound on his arm in pain. "We should bandage it." Canada said as they both walked to the school entrance. Their voices grew quieter and Russia couldn't make it out what they were saying anymore. Class was probably starting soon.

The realization of what just happend sank deeper in as the brothers were gone. Russia could feel his stomach ache at the thought. He didn't want to see America again. Not in detention. Not in school - Never again in general. He didn't want to deal with this. He turned around to his sister. 

"I'm sorry-" 
"No. Don't say that. We both know you are not."
 "No, I really am-"
 "Shut up."

She had a cold look on her face and even though she was smaller than Russia, he felt a bit threated by her expression and harsh tone.

"You wonder why people hate you-"
 "Wait no, let me expla-"
"and then you do stupid stuff like this! Do you even think about how this affects other people as well? You know, other people, like me?!" She threw her hands in the air in anger. 

She shoved her brother out of he way, almost making him trip over a stone, and then walked past him. He wanted to shout something after her. Something mean. Something hateful. But he swallowed it down. There was eneogh damage done for today. Then he thought about what she said and felt even worse. She had a good point. America actually helped him yesterday, but all he did as a repayment was making him cry and giving him a bleeding arm. Wow. I really am a asshole, huh?

He dropped his head and just stared at the ground for a moment. He listend to the footsteps of Ukraine leaving. Some students whispered to eachother as they walked past Russia. For once, Russia just blurred them out of his mind. Where is all this anger coming from anyway?  Russia thought to himself and looked at his hands. Am I really like my father?  His eyes widend at this terrifying thought and he shook his head. No, no, no. Never.

He forced himself to look up again as he heard the bell ringing. He was going to be late. With a heavy sigh he made his way to the school entrance. He just hoped this day would be over quick, so he could lock himself up in his room for the rest of the day. 

As Russia sat in class he couldn't concentrate. He was worried about the detention. He wasn't sure what would happen if he was trapped in a room with America for too many minutes, but then he shook his head and forced himself to work on his math worksheet. Everything will be okay.