Just another exploration video (Solby)

Talk

"Sam's not with you today?" Jane Kingsly asked as Colby settled down on the adjacent sofa, his hands clasped together as he stared at the ground. Ever since what happened... All the progress they had made completely shattered then and there. Sam was getting worse and worse and it naturally had an affect on Colby, his best friend and lover.

He couldn't handle just sitting there and watching the person he cares so deeply for tear himself apart. Colby wasn't going any better mentally. The trauma was only an addition to his mentality but the thing that was mainly causing suffering to him was watching Sam turn into what he was. A skeptical, paranoid and anxious mess. The things and the trauma that he had before that experience in the car, had become ten times worse. It was almost impossible for Colby to leave the house without Sam sticking to him.

Sam had no idea that Colby was seeing Jane right now. In fact, he had no idea Colby had left yet because he was a sleep when Colby slipped out of the house. Colby had to talk about it to someone that wasn't delusional. He had to talk to a professional, though Jane was not someone he was close enough to trust heartily, she was his best shot right now.

Maybe he and Sam were going insane with trauma, which would not be a surprise when taking into consideration all they had been through but- Colby wanted to know what he could do. He couldn't stand it. Quivering and trembling in fear while also trying to reassure his even more horrified boyfriend. He wanted to be strong for Sam, he wanted to help. But he couldn't do it alone.

"No", Colby closed his eyes as his leg bounced up and down, the clear discomfort of not being near Sam already showing in his features and body language. In all these months, he and Sam were absolutely inseparable. They stuck together like they felt they'd die without the other at their side, like if they left for even a second and came back, the other would be gone. Sam was more severe in this regard than Colby was but that didn't make it any easier. "Sam was asleep when I left. He's been taking sleeping medication lately because he's had trouble sleeping, he doesn't know I'm here and I don't think he knows I've left yet", he glanced at his phone before looking back at her.

He knew the moment Sam woke up and recognized Colby's absence he'd do three things in order. Start calling out to Colby. Start sobbing when he realised he wasn't in the house. Then he'd call Colby's phone and probably beg him to come back. It wouldn't even matter to Sam about where Colby left to, it would've been the fact that Colby wasn't there that would make him lose his shit.

"Why doesn't he know you've come to see me?" Jane asked as she organized some documents and stood up from her desk to sit in the plush chair near the sofa Colby sat on, crossing one leg over the other as she gazed at him.

"Multiple reasons. Some of which I'm sure you'd figure out without me having to say", Colby looked up into her eyes for only a moment before he looked back down at the floor. That was another issue he had developed. He couldn't look most people in the eye anymore. He could only look at Sam, and in his gaze he could just barely recognize the person he used to be. The person Sam was and the person Colby was before- it all went to hell. Colby wanted to revive those kids they were, maybe not the idiocy those kids had, but he wanted bring the light back into his loved ones eyes.

For some reason, Colby felt that if he could restore Sam back to the way he was, Colby would be corrected likewise. All he cares about was Sam's well-being. He hated watching him suffer. It was painful for him to watch, knowing he couldn't do anything to dull the pain he was going through. Colby has dismissed his own emotions to care for Sam's. Though he knew that wasn't the healthy option at all, he couldn't help it. He loved Sam to death.

To death.

"Possibly", she clicked her pen. "But not all of them".

"You remember the last time we came here? He can't talk about his feelings to people he doesn't know. Fuck, he can barely talk about his feelings to our close friends..."