Just another exploration video (Solby)

Why

Why indeed. Why would Colby do that?

Sam couldn't quite understand. But Sam's reaction certainly was not what Colby was expecting.

Soon after Colby had kissed him, Sam screamed and threw objects at Colby, demanding that he leave the room. So here Colby was, with his heart stinging in his chest as he sat with his knees to his chest outside his own room.

He tried to talk to Sam but he never got a response. It made him really scared that perhaps Sam might hurt himself but every now and then Sam would make a sound, whether it was a frustrated grunt or a sniffle, it meant he was still alive at least.

Was what Colby did really that bad? He was sure it was going to happen eventually, but perhaps his timing was just bad. Sam might be thinking ridiculous things. Like maybe Colby did that to shut him up, or because he couldn't help lying so a kiss would just cover everything up. The thought of Sam actually considering that made Colby feel a great number of things.

Regret. Depression. Worry. Anger.

No good emotions were flashing through Colby's mind aside from the momentary feelings of relief when he heard Sam make a sound to show he was alive.

"Sam?" Colby tried again, knocking his knuckles on the door lightly.

"Are you okay... No, bad question... I'm sorry..." Colby shook his head at his own ignorance of his dumb questioning. "I uh... Can you please just talk to me? I'll listen to you... I won't do anything else just... Please answer me..." Colby's voice grew smaller as the doubt ate at him.

How long would Sam camp in his bedroom? Well, all Colby knew was he was going to stay at the door and wait until Sam came out.

"Please Sam... Please... I'm sorry..."

"...Why?"

Colby's heart jolted with surprise and joy at the sound of Sam's rough voice, he seemed to be right on the other side of the door, it was also clear he had been crying which unfortunately did not surprise Colby.

"Why what?"

"Why... Are you sorry? Did... You regret it?"

"It made you upset... I don't want to upset you, it was an error of judgement... I shouldn't have done that..." Colby wasn't sure if these were the words Sam wanted to hear, he wasn't giving him anything to go off on.

"An... Error of judgement? So you realised that..."

"Sam, it wasn't to shut you up, or because I had nothing more to say. It was to show you that I care, but clearly I chose the worst time to do it... I'm sorry for that and I regret making you cry because I chose the wrong time", Colby wanted to eliminate any false thoughts Sam could possibly have at this point.

Sam was silent and Colby sighed, thinking that was the end of that conversation but found himself proven otherwise as the door clicked and started to open, Colby falling to the ground as his back support on the door fell away and he was half in his room, looking up into Sam's surprised, red eyes.

"Oh you were just... Sitting there", Sam's expression dulled as he rested on his knees, peering down at Colby's face.

"I was waiting for you... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-", Sam leaned down and closed his lips over Colby's performing in an upside down kiss that genuinely took Colby completely off guard.

The kiss was still, neither of them moved their lips and just held it there for a few moments. Soon Sam pulled away and he couldn't hold back the tears any longer as they fell from his face and landed on Colby's cheeks.

Colby's eyes softened and he quickly sat up, turning his body to wrap him arms around Sam and draw him close to his chest, allowing Sam to sob against his chest. Colby found himself struggling to contain his own tears, silently escaping the rim of his eyelids and rolling down his face.

"C-Colby..." Sam whimpered and Colby let out a broken sob as he hugged him tighter, shutting his eyes and pressing his lips against the top of Sam's head.

It was so all over the place. Their emotions, their thoughts even the control of their bodies was so far unknown to them. But when they were together they felt... So perfectly at ease. Just crying against one another was so much comfort that their souls needed. The smell, the feel the sound of each other was all they needed.

It was something no medication could replicate to help them.

"Colby... I love you... So much", Sam cried out, now full out sobbing like a baby as he wrapped his arms tightly around Colby's frame, wishing they could just be closer. Even though there was no humanly way possible they could be closer than now, excluding the fact they had clothes on, that they could be any closer physically.

Hearing Sam say this was so... Strange. It wasn't like he hasn't heard this before. They've said it to each other more than once and will probably continue to say it in the future to come, but this time it felt different. Somehow those words were different.

"I love you too", he reciprocated and the frail blond let out a broken laugh as he retracted and leaned his head up, closing his lips over Colby's again, taking him by slight surprise but he was able to regain himself speedily and kiss back with just as much expressive passion.

It was so perfect... So pure. If only that moment could last forever.

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"How have you two been feeling then?" Rena asked when she saw the two boys again, coming for their first therapy session. "Could be better but much more... Calm than we were when you last saw us", Sam gave a happy smile as he held his weight on the crutches, Colby nodding in agreement beside him.

"You two look much happier than last time, I almost didn't recognise you", she pinched Sam's cheek and nudged Colby playfully, the two laughing shyly as she treated them like they were her children. they didn't mind her doing it, they actually felt really at ease by how she treated them.

Like there wasn't anything wrong.

"Can I take it that you two are closer than you were before?" Her question was subtle and cautious, almost hoping that they wouldn't take it in the wrong way but pleasantly surprised when the two boys blushed and looked away from each other.

"That's all the reassurance I need", she teased and looked towards the therapists office which had a young woman waving to show she was ready to see them. "Oh well, Dr. Kingsly is ready to see you two! It was great seeing some friendly faces! I'm happy for you!" She gave them small hugs and excused herself as they made their way to the office.

They very much would have preferred to continue talking to Rena, their comfortable atmosphere faded away as they entered the office.

It looked like a typical therapy room, a warm mahogany colour spread throughout the room, a large wall, more like shelf, completely filled with books that looked very scientific and wordy. They took a seat on the sofa and sat close to each other, looking over at the woman neatly putting her books and folders together before she took a seat in front of the couch Sam and Colby were on.

She didn't look very approachable to the two. She wore the kind of glasses a second grade teacher would, her skin was a caramel shade and her eyes were a deep olive green colour, she kind of had eyes like a cat, they were small and sharp, like she could see straight through you without having you say anything. She had sharp cheekbones and thin lips.

She smiled. She surprisingly had a very warm smile and it made the two feel a little less intimidated.

"Sam and Colby right?" She had a soft voice and the two nodded slowly to answer her.

"Which is which?" She gave a sheepish expression and the two smiled back faintly.

"I'm Colby, this is Sam", Colby wrapped an arm around Sam who looked up at him with a slightly nervous smile before the two looked back her. She gave a small nodded and jotted something on her clipboard, the two wondering what on earth she could possibly have gotten already.

"Hello you two, my name is Dr Jane Kingsly, and I hope we manage to help you two get back on your feet."

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