Hydrophobia

Chapter 12

I stayed at Dean's house for weeks. I didn't want to go back home. I didn't care if Raphael or Gabriel was worried about me, I wasn't going back to the place that wanted to kill me. So I stayed at the Winchester house. Eventually, Dean got me some clothes, or I would share Sam's. That's how small I was. Dean and I would share a bed, and we would all eat breakfast in the morning, I promised Sam with playing video games every weekend, and Dean and I would go on dates; with or without Sam sometimes. Plus, Dean would drive us all to school. We would go the the school, hand in hand. We went to practice together, and we went to swim meets together. I was happy. Really happy. I felt so much at home there. I've never felt so alive there, than back at home. I was living like  Winchester, not a Novak.

I left my house: August 29.

It's December 21.

Everything was cold. The house was freezing. Dean and I would get Sam in the middle of both of us and we would all snuggle and giggle. There would be a fire in the chimney, if Dean ever had the will to light it. But other than that, we were penguins in blankets. It snowed outside, but not too much. Whenever we had to get to somewhere, we'd run outside, trying our best not to slip. Sam and Dean would throw a couple of snowballs at each other for a bit, then we'd all get in the Impala. We shared laughs.

When it came to Sam,  he looked up to me as another older brother. I would help him with whatever he needed. When it came to homework, or figuring out a problem at home, or even if it came to the point where he couldn't pick a movie. I was there. We hugged, we laughed, we played, we did everything we could have possibly done that was fun; something which I always wanted to do, but with Gabriel.

It was almost Christmas, and Sam was so excited. So was I, but for the festivity, not the gifts. I didn't really expect anything. I wanted to get Dean something, but, one, no money, two, I didn't know what. I felt bad because he's done so much, and I had no idea what to give him. I felt like the worst boyfriend ever.

"Four more days till Christmas!!" Sam screamed throughout the house. I laughed, seeing his hair bounce all over the place.

"Sam! You're thirteen! Act like it!" Dean chuckled, coming out of the kitchen with a coke can.

"I be what I want! I don't judge you!" Sam pointed at him.

"You literally sat me down and had a full conversation with me about all the things you thought I should change!" Dean scoffed. Sam silenced himself.

"I pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaad theeeeeee fiiiiiiiiiifth!" He talked as he ran down the hallway and into his room. Dean laughed and plopped down next me on the couch, putting his arm around my shoulders and planting a kiss on my temple.

"Bobby, Ellen, Jo, and  maybe a few others are coming for Christmas... Okay?" Dean said then he took a sip of his coke.

"Okay." Was all I could reply. I was too busy thinking of what I should get him. And everything I thought of, didn't even meet the standards of courtesy he has been giving me for the past four months.

"What do you want for Christmas Castiel?" Dean added randomly.  I didn't really know.

"I don't know... I usually don't want anything... I would even feel guilty when I got Christmas presents before." I replied, picked my feet up and laid my head down on his lap. He played with my hair as he continued to drink his soda. Suddenly, I heard my phone go off. The sound was a recording of Dean saying: "Hey Baby! You got a message!" I plucked it from my pocket and opened the text.

From: Raph
To: You

Castiel, I know you're probably still mad. But I need to know if you're okay. I've keep texting you, but you don't answer me. Please, Castiel, please. Tell me if you're okay. At least for me.

I looked at the message. I did keep ignored their calls and texts. I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to part of that family. They practically were the reason I almost died. But-- it wasn't like me to just let people worry. I wrote back:

I'm fine Raph. But just to let you know, I'm not going back. I'm staying with Dean. He at least isn't trying to plan my death.

After I sent it, I put it straight back into my pocket. I had enough of them. Four months ago I was done. I sighed.

"Who was that babe?" Dean asked.

"No one." I lied purposely.

"Oh common. It can't be no one. I heard my voice."

"It's no one Dean." I said a bit firmly, my eyes starting to water. I wiped my nose.

"Castiel, I know that sound too. Tell me who it was." Dean replied, all emotion gone from his tone. He stopped playing with my hair. This is when I know he was serious. I turned around and faced him, my head still resting against his lap.

"It was Raphael. My brother. Okay?" I answered him finally, with a pinch of attitude.

"What did the text say?"  His tone didn't change.

I sighed. "He wanted to know if I was okay.... That's it. Promise."

He looked down to me, those gorgeous green eyes. They looked tired. As I took a closer look, he had small bags underneath his eyes. They couldn't be noticed because of how he can play it off. But my Dean was exhausted. I felt so bad.

"Are you tired my love?" I asked sweetly.

"Hmm?"

"Are you tired?" I repeated, circling my finger on his abdomen.

"Very..." he whispered, resting his head against the back of the couch, rubbing his face. I sat up and on his laps, and I kissed his chin. He looked back up to me, with a weak smile and those sleepy green eyes.

"Then how about we go to your room, get underneath those comfy blankets, and just snuggle and cuddle?"  I asked, kissing the corner of his mouth. He chuckled.

"Oh now what? Now you're Teddy in a Trenchcoat?" He smiled, scooping me in his arms and standing up. I giggled as he walked into his room, throwing me on his bed. I bounced, smiling, and I got underneath the covers, gesturing for him to join me. He took off his shirt like he always does, and slid into bed with me. I wrapped my arm around him as we cuddled into each other.  My head rested on his bicep as he kissed my forehead.

It didn't take Dean long to fall asleep. He was tired. Tired of working and swimming so hard... makes me wonder how he does it. But first things first, I was thinking of what to get him for Christmas. I laid there, thinking long and hard.

What can compare to what Dean has been doing for me all this time?

It has to be something special...

Something I know that would mean so much, he can't give back.

Something.... something...