The Purest of Cullen's

Letter

❇ ✧ ⋆ ♡ ⋆ ♡ ⋆ ✧ ❇

Dear Christina,

You may seem shocked that I'm writing you this letter because that's such an old-fashioned way but it's not like your replying to my texts, emails or phone calls. I don't even know if you read them. So my last and only option is to write you this letter. On my last try.

And I know there are no words that I know that could explain how sorry I am about hurting you. I said it before and I'll say it again. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting your feelings, I'm sorry for not telling you the whole truth and I'm sorry I caused this friendship to end. I had to write you this note because I knew if I didn't I would regret it.

I'm moving with Natalia and Ace over to New Orleans, I hope that someday you might visit me. You don't have to obviously. You don't even have to read this but throw it away the moment you see this but if you didn't, and you did read it till the end I hope you do come down one day... Because you are my best friend and you do mean everything to me because you're you, because you're Chrissy.

You're funny, and you keep going and doing all the sports that exist even though you're the most clumsy person I know and you're able to trip over air. Your laugh was always so loud that whenever you did laugh people would always know it was you, it wasn't ladylike nor sweet but that's you, Chris. You're not like every other girl that walks down the street.

And that must have been the reason why in the end I ended up doing the unthinkable and falling in love with you.

Yes, I loved you and I still do. I really realized that these feelings existed towards you on graduation when you were standing with your mother with a bright smile probably talking about all the amazing colleges that accepted you. 

You are that love that came without a warning, you had my heart before I knew it. I think I tried to ignore these feelings for such a long time because I couldn't imagine the possibility that I could love someone who wasn't my imprint. 

But I did.

I still love Natalia with all my heart and I would die for her if it meant she was alright. But I would do the same for you.

So I hope you know that I'm sorry and that I will always love you.

Seth,

♡♡♡♡♡

If you have seen any sort of movies or shows then you know no one ever truly cried. Normally when someone cries it's not pretty. Their eyes swell and turn red. They are unable to speak, unable to breathe, nothing. The world around becomes a blur of colour that melts to grey. The weight in their chest and locks in their throats. The pain in the back of the mind comes forward with the slightest reminder. A small token of sorrow and misery. Of course, we can't forget the tears. Small crystal beads trail down the cheeks to the neck and the chest. Only to melt into the cloth they wore or to fall off their pouting lip.

So now when you have the perfect picture you can only imagine the state that Christina was in when she had finally finished reading the letter.

The tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down her face. She could feel the muscles of her chin tremble like a small child and look toward the window as if the moonlight could soothe her. There is static in her head once more, the side effect of this raw emotion that Christina was feeling. The feeling that the man she loved did indeed love her back was gone.

As her eyes drip with tears. Her walls, the walls that hold her up, make her strong just... collapse. Moment by moment, they fall. Salty drops fall from her chin, drenching the letter...

She's trembling. She can't stop. Even as she pressed her head against the desk it shook, it trembled. It's raw, everything, raw tears, raw emotions. She can't stop... She can't stop. All she wants is for all of these emotions to be gone.

Her sobs were stifled at first as if she attempted to hide her grief, then overcome by the wave of her emotions she would break down entirely, all her defences washed away in those salty tears.

She did something she herself didn't believe she was capable of doing at that moment. She ran. She couldn't see a thing in front of her or even hear a sound. Her eyes were filled with tears that caused her to see everything as if behind a blur. Like when you're driving in a car and suddenly a storm hits and the rain starts pouring onto the windshield. And even though the wiper is going at high speed trying to wipe the rain away so you could see the road you couldn't because of the amount of rain that was coming.

Not only her eyesight was behind a blur but her hearing was completely gone too. She couldn't hear anything that was happening around her. She didn't hear the loudness of her slamming the door open, the sound of her worried parents calling her name because of the tears on her face. It was like she wasn't even there.

When she had finally got out of the house her legs took off at an inhuman speed. She didn't even have her shoes on but that didn't bother her right now. The branches and stones underneath her feet seemed like they weren't even there. Because right now in her mind it didn't.

When she had finally arrived at her destination she stopped so fast in her tracks that it caused blisters to appear on her feet from the rocks. Her eyes stared right at the building in front of her which had all the lights off. There was no car in the drive-through and the one window that would always have light in it even this late at night was dark. No sign of someone being inside.

As she stood there she tried to hold it in, but the pain came out like an uproar from her throat in the form of a silent scream. The beads of water started falling down one after another, without a sign of stopping. She hit the ground and tried to scream, but her voice was melted by the tears going down her face. The muffled sobs wracked against her chest. The world turned into a blur, and so did all the sounds. The taste. The smell. Everything was gone. The last painful emotion slammed against her before she lost the feeling of feeling. Everything darkened into nothingness as she passed into the oblivion of unconsciousness.

A/N
I know this is a sort of chapter but that's because the next one is unfortunately the last one and this letter wouldn't have fit well with the upcoming chapter layout-wise....
Now there are still gonna be a few bonus chapters which I feel are quite important for the storyline and it would be great if you stuck around for those ♡