You Want It All Until You Have It

The Knight In Shining Armor Is Defeated By Pride

I woke up, fully aware. I knew he was just down the hall, sleeping still. He had fallen on to the guest bed last night, cursing everyone and everything. 

"Be a friend, not a lover," I muttered to myself, approving my reflection in the mirror. I looked past myself in the mirror and to the man standing in the doorway. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

"Thanks," he said, "again."

"It's not a problem." I shrugged it off. "How long do you plan on staying?" He sighed as if he had expected that question, but he hadn't hoped for it.

"I don't think I want to go home." Shocked? Yes. Upset? Not a bit.

"Are you sure? I'm sure uh," I trailed off. I could not at all remember his name. "I'm sure he misses you."

"His name is Matt, " Dan chuckled. "He's got those business trips and all. He's probably not even home. I think I should just break things off." He scratched his head trying to come up with an answer. He eventually nodded and walked away, pulling out his phone.  

"Wait, what are you doing?" I shouted, wincing at the volume of my own voice.

"Neither of us are necessarily happy in the relationship." He held his phone up to his ear, waiting for an answer. I saw his eyes widen slightly then he walked out of the room and far enough for me to not hear.

-

"So, how did it go?" I asked, sitting next to the the deafeated giant. He had been sitting in the floor in the hallway for almost a half an hour now. 

"He yelled. He yelled a lot. He spat out some awful things," he said staring blankly.  I didn't bother to push further.

"Well, do you want to grab some of your stuff and take it over here? I mean, you don't have to." I was never sure if I said the right things anymore. I didn't want to push him, but I wanted him to have an option. 

"Yeah. I think that would be best." He stood up. He didn't look like his normal self. He always looked soft and happy, like he was just high on life. Now he looked rigid and cold. His expression was hard maybe even numb. I stood up after him, leading him down the hall and to the stairs. 

"Well, you must have been ready to leave," I tried. 

"Yeah, I think I am." 

-

It was the second time I had seen the small house. It bothered me that they were serious enough at one point that they bought a house together. Dan exited the house after roughly ten minutes with a duffel bag and an old guitar case. He put his belongings in the car and slumped down in the passenger seat.

"That's all?" I asked, shocked at how little he had.

"That's all."

"What about the car? You left it at the restaurant last night?" He didn't sound so rigid anymore, but is was not soft. He sounded completely broken, and him sounding that way broke me.

"I don't even care about it." He had his feet on the dashboard, but I didn't want to tell him to move them. I got the car to impress him anyway. 

"Was it his?" I asked, pulling away from the house.

"No, it was mine." I looked over at him.

"Dan, come on," I pleaded. It killed me to see the giant look so small. 

"I don't want you to be helping me this much."

"Oh my fucking god," I groaned. "Youre telling me this is about your fucking pride?" I shouted unintentionally. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered. 

"You're getting that damn car." He opened his mouth to protest. "No," I said firmly. He nodded slowly then quickly, signalling for me to do what I want. Like I said, I always get what I want, and I wanted Dan to be happy.