Bruised Hearts

Chapter 3

I unfolded the small peice of paper carefully; Revealing what seemed to be diary pages, folded neatly in one another; why would he give me a page of a diary, and why did he have a diary in the first place? It intrigued me, so I started to read the first page:

September 4th,

Dear Diary, I started 9th grade today, it was fun, I made cool friends, Nick, Christian and Dan, they all think I'm awesome. Were in the same class, meaning we'll stay in the same class till the end.

There's also this boy in my class, Ethan, he's really shy. I know mom and dad told me that boys who like other boys go to hell, but I couldn't help myself from looking at him like that, he's so cute, tiny and SO attractive. Maybe I'll go talk to him tomorrow.

Bye for now -Jacob x

Now I was really confused, Jacob was thinking about me since day 1? So I carried on reading.

November 7th,

Dear Diary, I was paired up with Ethan today, As I expected he was really shy, but so cute. I was really happy with him. Everyone think's he's gay, I mean, I do to now, because he has all the characteristics that Mother and Father told me. He also has a really cute nose, and his eyes are just breath taking..

Bye for now -Jacob x

Was I really that obvious? I blushed in a non-pleasant way at the idea of everybody knowing before I even knew what it meant. And Jacob? did he know I liked him at that time? and that when I got paired with him, it was the best time of my life? Probably not.

There was one Page left, I was scared of reading it, scared to find it's contents.

April 16th,

Dear Diary, today Ethan pulled me aside and told me he loved me. I was extremely shocked, I had to think for a minute, while I looking at him. He was so flustered and he was also shaking, a lot, probably because he was so scared, I wanted to wrap my arms around him so badly and hold him tight. He was so cute, with his school tie loosen up, his wrinkly white shirt and his messy brown hair that would flip and curl a bit towards the ends. His beautiful blue eyes were smiling.

Unfortunately, I ended up telling him all these horrible things, that I regret truly, because truth is I love him too, I was scared. Because Mother and Father told me that In life, a boy must love a girl, that a boy cannot love or want another boy, they also said that god will send all the fags to hell; I don't want to be sent to hell..

But now, he's being pushed around and laughed at because I told everybody... made a scene. I'm a horrible person.

I really wish I could re-do everything, I've said horrible things to cover my tracks my own nature, and Made him suffer in my place.

I hope one day, I'll be able to tell him my true feelings..

Bye for now -Jacob x

I put the letters down on my desk, using it as a support, feeling numbness take over my legs, almost incapacitating them. I couldn't believe what I just read; did I read it right? Does he really love me too? I blushed and felt my heart pick up speed, racing and pounding against my chest. My stomach fluttered and all the suppressed feelings I had kept pushing away erupted inside me.

For so long I had pushed them down, as I knew my love for him was unrequited and I couldn't resolve myself to move on; my heart and mind simply wouldn't let me move on.

Now it was okay to love him, it was okay to be in love with him. Although, these feelings felt slightly different, obviously less strong, but they weren't the same. I forgot about that and as I felt my stomach growl, I decided it would maybe be a good idea to go eat.

I drifted slowly towards the door; euphoric, a smile plastered across my face.

I walked towards the cafeteria, and saw my only two friends Connor and Landon sitting at our usual spot. Connor looked up and his face lit up flashing his beautiful smile at me. Connor was truly beautiful, his tousled raven black hair covering most of his beautiful gray eyes, his perfect white smile, his baby face and his shortness made him absolutely adorable. I sat down and started nibbling on my apple. They were the only two people that accepted me for who I was and kept being my friends.

"Someone's really happy" Connor pointed out, I blushed bright red and tried to cover up my smile with my apple. I glanced over to the table where Jacob and his friends were sitting and I locked eyes with Jacob who also looked my way. As Soon as I caught him, he looked down and I could see his cheeks become red from embarrassment. He nervously played with his fingers, and started looking around.

I giggled and I felt Connor and Landon follow my gaze and upon seeing Jacob, from the corner of my eye I saw them loose their smiles.

"Ethan..." they started in unison, in a sympathetic yet sad tone.

I turned around and shook my head from side to side. "Save it" I started, cutting them both. "I know" I spat, and looked down and tared out a large piece of my apple. I knew they were going to lecture me on how loving Jacob was useless and how I should move on, because holding on to the idea of being with Jacob would just keep hurting me. They were right, but not anymore.

A/N: Picture is connor.