The World's Funniest Shit 3

10. Women. Enough said.

1. I'm going to call my kids, Ctrl, Alt, and Delete. That way if they fuck up, I'll just hit them all at once.

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2. Hurricanes are like women. They come in wet and wild but when they leave, they take your house and car.

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3. A quiet man is a thinking man.

A quiet woman is usually mad.

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4. Women said that men are like playing cards.

You need a HEART to love them.

A DIAMOND to marry him.

A CLUB to smash his head in.

And a SPADE to burry him.

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5. Coca-Cola went to town,

Pepsi-cola shot him down.

Dr. Pepper fixed him up,

Now we're drinking 7up.

7up went up the mountain,

Now we're drinking Mountain Dew.

Mountain Dew had a stroke,

Now we're back to drinking Coke.

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6. Good girls are found in every corner of the earth.

But unfortunately, Earth is round.

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7. "Hey Lynn, tell me this. How do you get your husband to stop staying out so late?"

Lynn: Well, every time he comes home, I'll go,"Mike, is that you?"

"I dont get it. How does that help?"

Lynn: My husband's name is Andrew.

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8. Mississippi gave Missouri a New Jersey, what did Delaware?

I don't know, Alaska.

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9. Ennie, mini, miny, moe,

You are nothing but a hoe,

You think you're cute,

You think you're classy,

News flash! You're freaking nasty.

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10. What's the definition of trust?

Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob.