Not Another High School Love Story

40. To Those Who Wait

"When he can." Ms. Montgomery corrects, reminding him of the actual agreement. He likes telling the stories so much that he forgets she was there for most of it. My happy ending isn't the only one, they've been back together for a while now. It's what we all deserved. I'm glad they have each other, of course, but mostly I'm just relieved I got to keep my whole family together, our final summer wouldn't have been the same without her. She's more than earned my love, and I can't help but smile when she smiles at me first. "I'm so proud of you, Jonah, you're going to do great."

"We're both proud of you." Dad interjects, holding out his arms as he lumbers over to pull me into a big hug. I let out a spirited grunt when he holds on a little too long, but he only laughs when he steps back and pats me on the shoulder. "You know, I could always come to you if you're busy."

"Oh god, dad," I groan, joining them as the room fills with laughter for probably the last time. "As long as you don't make a habit out of it. Trust me, I'll come visit so much you'll be sick of seeing me."

"Never." He swears. Apparently this is all taking too long because someone lays on the horn downstairs, and dad shoots them a dry look through the wall. Regardless, he goes to where the rest of the boxes are stacked by the door, and he and Ms. Montgomery take what's left of them. She offers one last loving and encouraging sentiment before heading down, but my dad hesitates like he wants to say something else. Instead he just watches me for a minute before nodding, and I understand him completely.

He waits too long and Brent appears behind him, and they squeeze passed each other in the doorway. Brent was in charge of getting everything packed into the truck, this is the first time he sees my room and he whistles, raising an eyebrow. I'm sure he probably knows better than anyone else how I feel, this room meant something to him too. We found each other here, it's where we grew up and where we fell in love. Without a word he comes over and puts both arms around my waist, exerting a lofty sigh while he studies my face thoroughly.

"So, looks like everyone's about ready. Are you?" He wonders, offering me all the time in the world. Let's be honest, I probably would've taken him back no matter what after that stunt he pulled at the baseball game, but he's exceeded every expectation. Even though it seemed like he was way more afraid of coming out than me, he faced it all very bravely. The first day we went to school after that he met me outside, and we walked in holding hands while he grinned wildly at anyone who had the audacity to stare.

Obviously being popular made all the difference, because no one dared whisper about him, and everything stayed pretty much the same. Marcus tried to have a problem when he saw us together, but Brent put him in his place, and together we were able to enjoy what time we had left of high school as a genuine couple. We hung out after lunch, walked each other to class, and made very public displays of our affection. He did it all proudly, and neither of us looked back.

"Almost, I just need to grab a few more things." I touch his face, running a finger across his lips. How many times I've kissed them, and how much more I look forward to kissing them. I lean in slowly until we're barely touching, remembering, and then press harder. I kiss him for too long before I remember what I'm supposed to be doing, and I peel myself away as I go back to look at the box still sitting on the bed. This box is special, it's filled with my favorite things, but more importantly it's filled with him. The photo album he gave me, the hoodie I stole from him, and an entire years' worth of notes.

We had so much fun together this summer. Movies with Grace and Queen, dinners with my dad and Ms. Montgomery, and all the precious seconds in between we kept for ourselves. Warm days on the beach, runny ice cream that melted way too fast, and sleepless nights spent up talking beneath our usual tree in the park. It was perfect, one last perfect thing before we start the next leg of our journey. College is going to be messy, I know that, but we'll figure out how to make it work.

"I can't believe classes start next week, I'm freaking out." Brent chuckles, sitting down to wait.

"Me too, we should probably pick up our books later." I say.

"Judging by the number of boxes you have I don't think there's going to be time." He teases. "Seriously, like most of the stuff in the truck is yours, all my shit is piled in one corner."

"Tell you what, you help me unpack and I'll let you stay the night."

"Hell yeah, I definitely like the sound of that. My first walk of shame." His grin widens. When I said today was about me that wasn't completely true, it's about Brent too. He's also moving into his dorm today, and even though it'll only be like a five minute walk it still seems too far away. High school's not the end for us, and now we'll be going to college together, but I doubt we'll share any classes. That's not going to stop us though, I expect we'll be getting into a whole hell of a lot of trouble.

Not too much though, we've still got overbearing parents to impress. After publicly coming out, it wasn't much of a surprise when Brent wasn't allowed back home. Luckily everything worked out for the best, because moving back in with my dad left Ms. Montgomery with an empty room, and she took him in without a thought. I think he's been happier with her, and he's definitely safer, and he even has a pretty good relationship with my dad now that they've smoothed things over. My dad likes Brent, I think he's actually pretty content with me dating him now. I'm sure it helps that they have a lot in common.

"Well we better enjoy it while we can, we'll probably be too busy for all-nighters in a few months." Just the thought makes me tired. "We'll have jobs and homework, you'll have football."

"Fuck that, you're way more important." Brent scoffs, making it clear he plans to take college about as seriously as he took high school. Because I was facing away from him, trying to fill my box, I hadn't realized him get up. Again his arms wraps around me as he holds me from behind, and he presses his lips to my neck. "We'll do all our homework together, and when I play my first game I'll point to you in the stands so everyone knows you're my boyfriend."

"Damn right you will." I joke as he rests his chin on my shoulder. "I was thinking about how glad I am we're doing this, it wouldn't be the same without you."

"I know what you mean, I wouldn't want to do this with anyone else." He loves me, he wants to be as close as possible, and it occurs to me that the things I love about this room all have to do with him. We helped each other figure out what it means to be men, we're in love and that's never going to change. This isn't saying goodbye to anything, it's just moving to a different place.

"Good." I laugh quietly, picking up my yearbook, the final thing left to pack. With certain hands I put it in the box and fold the flaps over, prepared for the unknown. "I'm ready to go."

"You want me to carry that?" Brent offers, releasing his hold as he comes to stand beside me. I shake my head, the only answer he needs, and he rubs my back for a second before he turns to leave. He doesn't make it too far when he stops to glance around, "man, it really looks weird in here."

"It's just a room." I state, leaving him to ponder it. After that he disappears, and I'm left by myself in the empty and hollowed out space. I allow it one more chance to fill me with nostalgia, to take me back through the past year, and the year before it. I could talk about the lessons I learned on family, or the importance of friendship, or the need for identity, but I just want to remember. Downstairs are five people who love me, five people who accept me for who I am, and who make me happy.

Everything's about to change, but the thought doesn't scare me quite like it used to. What a life I've lived hiding in plain sight, building a definition of myself through secrets and someone else's pictures. Now I get to start again in a new place with new people, and this time I'm going to get it right. I gather my box of favorite things in my arm and head for the door, taking one last look at these four glorious walls that were my home, and I have no regrets. It's never been a perfect life but it's mine, and it's a good one, so I smile as I say goodbye and turn off the light, leaving it behind.