Foolhardy // vminkook

Chapter fourty ~ dream

    The voices weren’t even always directed to Jimin specifically. Sometimes he just heard two of them chattering or playing games, which was even more weird, but in some way that he couldn’t explain, those sounds warmed his heart. He didn’t know why he heard them, he didn’t even know where they were coming from. Strangely enough though, he never felt tired during the day even though he never got a drop of sleep at nights.

    One of the most bizarre parts was the fact that whenever he tried to talk about his situation, his friends just shrugged and changed the subject, never really giving weight to it. They didn’t even seem to care Jimin was hearing their calls for help, they sure were not going to do anything about it. And at daytime, Jimin didn’t really feel like investigating either. He just wanted to be happy with his boyfriends. But, the more Jimin tried pushing it away during the day the louder the voices got at night. A week or so later, he got a headache in the back of his head out of nowhere. He took a ton of painkillers but the ache didn't seem to be going away. And again, his friends didn’t seem to care much about it.

    The harder Jimin thought about what happened before the wedding, the less he remembered. He didn’t even know what happened in school that Friday and asking people was no help. He remembered vaguely that something bad had happened, but no details whatsoever. The wedding day itself was also a blur, but he blamed alcohol for that even though he was sure he didn’t drink thAt much. He didn’t know when his graduation day was, or if he had missed it. His whole life was a mess, but somehow he was still happy. As if there was some sort of external source of relief that made all his problems disappear.  

    A week after the migraine started, something even more inexplicable happened to Jimin. It was a sunny summer day as it had been the last two weeks, and he was sitting on the sofa chatting with Hoseok. Or, so he thought. He was in the middle of his sentence about his college choices when he heard a sound coming from the bathroom. It really sounded like Hoseok's voice somehow, he turned his head to check it out by reflex. When he saw the door open and nobody in there, he shrugged and turned back to his conversation.

    Everything happened so quickly. He had turned back to face Hoseok again, only to see him crying his eyeballs out in front of him. His face seemed like he’d been crying for some while, even though Jimin was sure they were smiling a just second ago. Now, though, Hoseok was saying stuff about how he lost all his hope and was trying too hard to hold on for his friends, that he couldn’t take it anymore and that it had been two months-

    Jimin, on the other hand, was having a hard time processing all these. He had this irresistible urge to just blink his eye and hope everything would go back to normal. He couldn’t make sense of any of this, and he didn’t have the will to try. He just wanted to be happy with his loved ones for a while. He wanted everything to be easy for once.

    And surely enough, in the blink of an eye everything was back to normal, Hoseok was smiling and talking about his university plans. Except nothing was normal. He was sure something was way off, his mind was just so fuzzy he couldn’t really point a finger. He hated himself for choosing the easy path, he somehow knew if he didn’t just close his eyes and instead tried talking to Hoseok, things would be way different. He just excused himself to go to the bathroom and wash his face, he couldn’t handle this anymore.

    The bathroom looked weird in to him, he couldn’t really make out what at first. It took a second for him to realise: he had found himself in the school restrooms, he had no idea how. He blinked a few times to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating, when he opened his eyes he saw two guys in front of him, trying to beat up Yoongi and Hoseok. He tried to make a move but he felt paralysed, as if someone glued him to his spot. He called out but nobody looked at him, he was invisible kind of like a spectator. As if it were a dream.

    Then he saw a version of himself coming from the stool, picking a fight with the bullies. Even though he was so near them he couldn’t make out what they were saying, he only heard some muffled angry voices, before the bigger one of the bullies pushed him -or at least the guy who looked like him- and the guy hit his head to the edge of a door, and that was when the whole world went pitch black for Jimin.

    It all started with his ears ringing, a deafening sound. The back of his head had begun throbbing, more painful than ever before. He thought about his friends, just as a small distraction from the voice. He tried to remember Jungkook’s voice from when he was singing to them a few months back, and that really seemed to be helping. A couple minutes later it all died down and he started hearing the sounds again but this time way louder and clearer. This time they weren’t all mixed together though, he could only hear Yoongi’s soft voice, repeating something over and over again.

“I miss you a lot Jimin. I hope you realise that. Please open your eyes.”

    Open your eyes? What did that mean? Was he in some sort of coma? What had happened the day of the wedding? Did what he just see in the bathroom really happen? How much time had actually past? What was happening? Why couldn’t he move? He just wanted everything to go back to normal, he hated being like this. It was so much more painful to be in this black abyss than in the home, yet at this point he didn’t want to go back there either. He didn’t want to keep living a lie, it wasn’t him. He didn’t know what was happening but he was sure that he would do everything to get out of there just to help his friends. He hated himself for not leaving the house sooner.

    After the loop ended, there was a bit of silence that calmed him down a little. A moment later, he heard Yoongi’s voice again. This time it was only once, but only once was enough.

“Please forgive me and wake up Jimin. I need you back.”

    And that was the last thing he heard before he shot up from his bed, gasping for air.