Boundless

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I always liked the rain. The rain is calm. The rain always seems to ease my timid soul, and rest my wild thoughts. I felt the day slow down when it rained. There is nothing unsettling about the rain. Yes, the rain is nice. The rain reminded me of the places my feet have traveled and the prints I've left behind.

Oh but the rain, only the rain determined my mood, because on days like this I felt the most relaxed. I just needed a reminder to breathe. I stood from my desk , my head turned to the window, I looked at the drops of rain that clung to the glass, and how they slipped right down.

" Ms.Jackson, We are heading out to dinner tonight for korean barbecue, would you care to join us?" My Co-worker Mrs.Kim spoke in her Korean tongue, I almost forgot how to respond.

I smiled and in fluent practiced Korean, I replied, " I will go tonight". It was true, I would go. Mrs. Kim was always so kind to me, as well as the rest of my coworkers. Because of her, my days in South Korea has been pure bliss. She had my back and I trusted her with my life. She, an elder woman than I was, in her forties, treated me like a younger sister, no a mother.

She smiles and turns to leave. I stood from my desk, and gathered all of my belongings. The seat I sat at was not yet mine, it was only temporary. I would officially be a full time teacher, once I graduated my course in just three months.

Those 90 days felt like forever.

Forever didn't seem so bad. The time would be hollow and meaningless regardless. I would still be the rose amongst the tulips, and the needle in the haystack. I was lonely. I woke up alone, and went to sleep alone. My phone hadn't rung before, I was always a caller. I suffocated in isolation. It was my own auto phobia that lead me in the middle of South Korea and yet here I was like an alien on a new planet.

Except It wasn't that new. I lived in South Korea for three years now. I bit my bottom lip. I chose to go tonight because I knew that if I went into my little studio tonight, the walls would mock me and the grounds would quake. The quiet was seemingly comforting, until it wasn't. I was lonely, and plain bored. I walked streets and sometimes twice I greeted the sun twice.

•. •. •

" You look so good today" My Co-workers complimented , another one of my female co-workers, one younger than me by a year, she went by Ms.Oh. Her like many of my lower co-workers had developed a skill, a skill of kissing ass. Ms.Oh may have been single, but she was not like me. She was super thin, like any average Korean girl was, not that it was bad. I was quite the opposite.

Ms.Oh was pretty and yet there was something so unattractive about how sly and sneaky she truly was. I envied her however. Being lonely would be her own self decision. And although she was alone, someone always shared a space with her in bed.

   She made me uncomfortable in my skin. She made me doubt my qualities as a woman, and I hated that. When our co-workers smiled stiffly at me, I hated that.
I wasn't at all intimidating. My generous height of 177cm wasn't towering enough to scare anyone off. I wore my slim figure well with my hips. My skin was softer than velvet and yet I hadn't understood why. Then the question lingers...was it because of my pigment?

Was it because my cheeks didn't flush of magenta red? Was it because Instead of the pale power white complexity, I possessed skin as brown as bread and coffee, and of mahogany roast? I am beautiful. I never believed other wise, and here I found doubt in my self.

Her hair of silk and soft like a puppy's fur, and mine of shortened curls that rested in thick heaps on my head. I am beautiful regardless of what was glorified in the standard of woman, and that I always believed, and yet...

" Ms.Jackson, how is school? You look a lot peaceful these days."Mrs.Kim asks me as she cut pieces of meat with a scissors. I nod and smiled at her, a forced one. " Peace is for those who comestibles those who were troubled, that I am still I'm afraid" I say and she frowns.

" Why is that sweetheart? Do you want to talk about it?"

I felt Ms.Oh's eyes on me. I smiled once more and shook my head. " No I am fine" I answer in English and she gives me a lingering look as she put strips of meat onto the fryer. I think that was the last time I spoke. The night progressed with my co-workers chatting among themselves and laughing. I just observed and kept quiet. The more I spoke, the more I worried that my mouth would slip. I was not at all interested in what they spoke. It was mostly about the kids we taught at the school.

Finally I stood and decided for fresh air. I excused myself and walked out of the decent restaurant that we had settled with last night. I stepped into the cool night, and the windy air kissed my face. My curls were released as I tugged my band free from it. I closed my eyes and slid my hands behind my neck I blew out a steady breath. It was that moment I felt it. The eyes that danced on me. The haze that I felt. I felt the sudden nearness of someone.

Then I am captivated and held hostage by the masculine smell of pinewood, mint, and cinnamon. I wanted to drink up this smell. I opened my eyes and what stared back at me, hadn't given me enough time to prepare for. He was utterly handsome. Gorgeous. Beautiful. Fine as hell. His almond mono lid eyes are richly dark like soil. His cheeks are round on high, with a broad head, and tightly sharpened jawline.

He smiles at me. " Are you ok?" He asks in English. I clear my throat. " I am alright" I replied in Korean and his eyes held a flicker of amusement. He turns and puts his hands in his pockets. He wasn't much taller than me but the way his head was held high with pride, you would have denied it. " What is your name?" He asks in korean.

" Athena, Athena Jackson." I answer him back. My tone sounded rushed. I don't know why, but I felt myself grow nervous. A familiar hilt of butterflies piled in my stomach. " Athena. Nice to meet you, I am Jae Eun, Min Jae Eun. You can call me Jae if you like" He says to me in English, his voice lingered a korean accent and his voice sounded reassuring and light.

I bowed slightly after his introduction and he reciprocated. " Why you stand in the cold? " He asks me once again in English and I met his eyes. His small eyes, and his lashes that made a shadow under his eyes. I hugged myself. " I went to breathe. The cold doesn't bother me anymore." I answer him shyly.

Then subtly and quite unexpectedly, he takes off his coat and wraps it around my shoulders. I breathe silently, or maybe I didn't at all. My eyes widened and he smiles broadly, revealing a mouth of pearls and perfection. My eyes wondered to his chest and shoulders. He wore broad shoulders and thick arms, and his long muscled neck fell perfectly in proportion with his head.

He is heavenly. So heavenly I almost fainted. He wore a black button down shirt that was tucked into his skinny jeans. I bit my bottom lip. He caught my staring trance and ripped me out of it with a wink. I couldn't control the smile that grew on my face. " Don't get a cold, it's pretty bad here" He says placing his hands on my shoulders.

" I know, I've lived in Korea for three years"

" Really? Then you should know better"

" And what about you? Have you lived in America before? You don't touch a lady much less a stranger " I say and his hands slip down my shoulders and to the sides of him. " I am sorry" He says sweetly. My breath was shortened and I realized that I was not breathing. Every second that he stood next to me, I would not breathe. Every minute his coat covered me, I would not breathe.

"Athena, I will see you again. I will join my company" He says to me with a slight bow, I bowed and slipped off his coat but he had turned to go inside already.