I'll Be Your Strength. The Wanted Fanfic

6

I got home about 7pm. I don’t think anyone realised I came in. Thankfully. I went straight up to my bedroom and lay down on my bed! I felt so worn out. I got into my pyjamas and lay back down in bed. I must have fallen asleep almost straight away. “Danielle! Wake up!” I looked up to see Leah hanging over me! “What’s wrong?” I asked “Nothing! I just thought something was wrong with you because you were just lying there, it looked like you weren’t breathing!” She came and sat next on my bed. “What time is it?” I asked confused as I didn’t know if it was night or day “It’s 11 at night! I was worried about you! I didn’t even realise you were back. I just rang Nathan and he said you left a few hours ago, then that’s when I came running up here. Come get some food hunny! I don’t want you to go hungry! I made food anyway! And by the way, I’ve told everyone not to kick off because it’s unfair for you!” “Thank you Leah!” We went downstairs, I seen mum and Joe cuddled up on the sofa, and Nicole sitting on a chair watching TV.

“Why are you such an amazing cook?” I quizzed Leah “Just years of practise, nothing much!” She laughed “I think you better ring Nathan back because he was worried about you!” She continued. I went back upstairs and looked at my phone; I had 24 missed calls and 8 new texts. All from Nathan of course!

I dialled his number “Danielle? Are you okay?” He asked worryingly “Yes I’m fine! No one knew I was home; I fell asleep straight when I got in! Leah’s just woke me up” “Oh good God! I was worried about you! I thought you did something stupid!” He replied “Don’t be silly! Why would I do that?” “Can I ask you something Danielle?” I sat there thinking if this is going to be good or bad “Carry on!” I replied “Will you allow me to help you through this? No matter how hard this gets for you, I’ll be here and I’m always going to be here! But promise me to never back out?” But would I be able to promise him this? Would I be able to keep to it and never break it? “I promise!” I replied not truly convincing myself with that answer! “Well what you’re going to do for starters is meet me tomorrow at the park by the swings at 1:30. Okay with you?” “Yerp, fine by me”

The next day, I woke up at 10am. I woke up to the sun blazing in my bedroom; I could hear the birds outside singing. I could smell food; fry up food to be precise. It smelt lush. I looked to my phone to realise I had a text. It was from Nathan of course. ‘Hey baby, I’m so glad I’ll get to see you today! I can’t wait to be honest. I’ll see you later. Until then, I miss you. Nath xx’ I lay there smiling like a Cheshire cat. I got out of bed and went to have a quick shower.

Once I did, I put my wet hair up in a bunch, got dressed into baby pink skinnies and a baby pink sleeveless top with a peace sign on it. I walked downstairs and into the kitchen, Nicole was sitting there studying. I was pretty worried as she didn’t make a remark to my entrance. This was a first. I made myself a cheese sandwich and a glass of milk.

I walked back upstairs once I finished and let my hair down. I put my iPod into my speakers and started to play a bit of Paloma Faith - I loved her. Her music was amazing she inspired me so much.

I dried my hair inbetween using my dryer as a microphone; Straightening my hair was more or less the same. I couldn’t help but to rave to her music. She was an amazing person. My bedroom was covered in Paloma Faith posters. Which may seem lesbiany but I love her - now I’m sounding like a lesbian. Damn.

About an hour and a half later, I had done my hair. It was now 1oclock. I looked at my phone and decided to text Nathan ‘I’m ready babe xx’ I sat on my bed looking out into the sky, it looked so beautiful, a baby blue colour with only a few clouds in sight.

I decided to start walking to the park; even though it was only 5 minutes away. When I was half way there I got a text ‘I can see you! ;) xx’ I looked up to see Nathan standing there in the middle of the street. I ran up to him and jumped onto him “I take it you’ve missed me then?” He asked giggling. I got down of him and looked at him “Of course I did.” I turned around to carry on walking to the park. Nathan interlocked his hand into mine. His fingers filling the space inbetween mine, I looked down at our hands, then up to him “You don’t mind do you?” He asked “Nope!” I smiled.

“What you doing tonight?” I asked breaking the long silence between us as we were strolling round the park. “I’m going to a party. George from my French class invited me.” He said “Oh right! Well don’t get too drunk! Or do something silly or embarrassing!” I said “Don’t worry babe! I won’t, trust me!” While waking round, hand in hand, I couldn’t help but wonder. “What you thinking off?” Nathan asked breaking my thoughts “Nothing, just wondering!” We decided to lie down on the grass for a while, we laughed and joked around. Nathan wasn’t quite himself today if I’m honest. Like something was bugging him, but I brushed it off anyway.

He looked at his watch then up to me “Babe, I’ve got to go and get ready for tonight. You okay with me leaving you?” He asked “Yerp! I’m sure I’ll find some entertainment. I think Max, Tom, Siva and Jay are coming round tonight so I’ll just chill with them.” Nathan stood there with a blank expression on his face “Oh” was all he said “Well, I’ll probably see you Monday now anyway!” He said before walking away without saying goodbye.

Before walking off completely, he came back, placed one hand on my waist and the other on my cheek. He leant in and placed his lips gently on mine, before kissing me, our lips moving in perfect harmony. “See you!” He smiled at me before walking off. What was wrong with him? I quizzed myself. I just told myself I was over reacting at the situation, it’s probably just nothing.

I walked home, not really taking any notice of the world around me. But I noticed one thing, something beside me. I looked up to see Jay “Hey Jay!” I chuckled; I don’t know why I chuckled though “Hey Danielle, in a world of your own ‘ey? Where you been then?” “Bit nosey? I’ve just been with Nathan actually!” The sound of it is all weird, spending time with a boy, getting to know him. What he likes. What he dislikes.

Suddenly, it all came back to me. The pain in my chest. The whole. I still found it hard to grief properly; I just had random outbursts every now and then. Like every few days. I don’t know if this is normal or not, or if it was just my way of dealing with it, especially because I’ve never spoke to my mum about my feelings.

We had just turned into my street and I ran to my house, I felt a lump in my throat; I could feel my eyes start to water up. I quickly ran into the house and into my bedroom. Once I got there, I jumped onto my bed and cried into my pillow.

I lay there, with this pain in my chest. I honestly hate myself. I want my dad to be here to tell me everything’s going to be okay. No one will ever be able to heal this pain. No one. Time isn’t a healer.

After wiping my eyes, I walked downstairs, Nicole, mum and Joe were in the living room telling Nicole how gorgeous she looked, she was obviously going to the party Nathan was going to aswell. Nicole saw me looking at her and gave me a dirty look, followed by my mum looking at me to see what Nicole was looking at.

I walked out into the kitchen and got a glass of milk. I sat at the kitchen table, staring at my milk. All of a sudden, I could hear a random outburst of laughter; I never noticed the guys were in the conservatory. I looked over to them, Leah waved at me to go in but I didn’t know if I should or not. I did after about 10 seconds of staring at Leah. “Sit down, Danielle!” I sat down beside Jay. I fault kind of awkward because I ran off crying earlier, I looked at him and smiled. I never noticed before now just how beautiful Jay actually was. He had lovely eyes, amazing curls, great personality and a beard, which I love in lads. I didn’t know I liked this about boys before now. This felt wrong. What about Nathan? I mean, we’re not actually a ‘couple’, but still. This was no excuse. I didn’t really know much about Jay as I never really spoke to him. All I knew was he was obsessed with Avatar, which was a bonus I guess, as I loved that film too.

I stopped myself from thinking of all the things me and Jay had in common. Shouldn’t I be saying the things me and Nathan had in common? “Danielle, back to planet earth?” I didn’t realise I was sat there frozen staring at my glass of milk, which I had nearly spilt. I looked over to Leah “Sorry, I just realised something that’s all!” I had to laugh “Where did you go today Danielle?” Leah asked “I went out with Nathan to hang out.” “Oh right, you two are getting pretty close, what’s going on there?” Tom asked finishing it with a wink. “Nothing we’re just friends that’s all!”

At that moment, the door flung open, “Leah babe! I’m going, I’ll see you later, bye everyone else!” Nicole hugged Leah before turning round to me “Surprised you’re allowing Nathan to go to this party on his own, the girls will be buying him drinks so they can get on him” she hissed “They can do what they want! Not like anything’s going on between us!” I replied angrily. She walked out, but not before giving me a dirty look. “She seems to like you?” Siva asked, clearly noticing the look she gave me. “We’re best friends, can’t you tell?” I joked back.