This Is Me

Multiple Problems (Part Three)

"Oh, God." The words slipped from my mouth as soon as I saw Andy and Leroy sitting in our usual spot, accompanied by a girl I vaguely recognised from around the school.

"You knew this was gonna happen, Pete. Deep breaths," Blaire whispered beside me, giving me a slight nudge.

She was right, and I knew that. Leroy was straight, and no matter what feelings I had, big or small, there was never going to be a romantic relationship between the two of us. Though that didn't stop the sinking feeling in my stomach or the automatic jealousy that began rearing its ugly head as I watched someone who wasn't me nestle up closer to Leroy.

"I don't think deep breaths are going to help," I murmured back to Blaire just before we reached the others.

Almost immediately after Blaire and I had come to a stop, Leroy leapt to his feet and shot us both a smile, gesturing down to the girl who had been sitting quite comfortably beside him. I did my best to return the happy smile, and I think I did it rather convincingly.

"Blaire. Pete. This is Grace." Leroy beamed at the both of us as Blaire and I turned our full attention to Grace who was now shyly smiling at the two of us.

"Hi, Grace! Welcome to our humble, little group." Blaire stepped forward and offered her hand, which Grace slowly took, causing a strangely awkward handshake to take place.

"It's good to meet you, Grace." I nodded my head in her direction, before taking a seat on the ground next to Andy.

"They made it official on Friday, at the party," Andy filled me in as Blaire, Grace, and Leroy all delved into a conversation together.

"Before or after everyone was drunk?" I asked, doing my best to keep my voice level. I didn't need Andy to think anything was bothering me.

"Uh, kind of when everyone was half-and-half." Andy chuckled. "Before I made out with Carly."

"Oh, so you remember that?" I questioned snickering.

"Don't mock me. I hate myself enough for doing it as is. Leroy's already given me a ton of shit for it."

"Hey, I'm not one to judge."

I gave Andy a slight nudge and looked back over at Leroy, who was still in a light conversation with Blaire and Grace. He caught a glimpse of me looking over at him and gave me another small smile, which I returned.

I hated myself for developing feelings for Leroy, now more than ever. At first, it'd been just a childish crush that I thought would pass in no time, but now, it seemed like it had become something more. The worst part was—he looked like he was happy with Grace. Like it could be the start of a great relationship. In turn, I should be happy for him. I should be happy for them both. But I wasn't. I was angry and sad. I was devastated, even. The more I sat and watched them, the more horrible I felt. They kept sharing small kisses and holding onto each other, and I couldn't take it anymore.

"Just going to the toilet. I'll be back." The words flew out of my mouth, and before anyone had the time to say anything in response, I was already on my feet and heading back across the field.

Due to my fast-paced walking, I was soon standing in the boy's bathroom in front of the large mirror that hung behind the basins. I turned the tap on and washed my hands before wiping my face down, nodding at a few students wandering in and out of the bathroom. Just as my luck had it though, Leroy was one of the students who had walked in.

"Are you all right?" Leroy's voice was soothing, as it always was, and I had to fight the urge to fall apart.

The mixture of emotions I was feeling along with the sweet voice of the boy I had begun falling for was not a good combination when it came to trying to hold myself together. But, somehow, I managed.

"Yeah, I'm good. Just really had to pee," I lied, finally shutting the tap off.

"Oh... okay, cool. As long as you're good." Leroy nodded a few times while he fiddled with his hand, and I turned away from him, thinking it wasn't a good idea to look his way.

"Yep, perfect."

I hated lying. But I couldn't tell him the truth. I mean, I could, yes. The consequences of doing that though would surely outweigh the good that could come from it. Why did everything have to be so fucked up?

"All right, well... I'll see you back out there."

I nodded in response, not trusting myself to say anything else. The fear was that I would tell him how I was feeling. Or get angry for no reason. Which, I didn't have a right to be angry. At least not at Leroy. He hadn't done anything wrong. What was happening, and what I was feeling, was all on me. I just needed to keep my head down and get over myself and Leroy. But as I watched Leroy give me a small, nervous smile before turning around and slowly walking out of the bathroom, I knew that was going to be easier said than done.

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A/N: My poor, baby, Pete.

I love you. But also, you're a bit of an idiot.

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Question:

I mean... what do you think of Grace?