This Is Me

Game Plan (Part One)

Game Plan (Part One)

"So, I was like, 'oh, don't let me stop you. You need to do what makes you happy!' And then she was all like, 'but what makes me happy is Obama!' And then I woke up in a cold sweat."

Andy's voice drifted into my ears as we stood just outside the school grounds. It hadn't been long since I had arrived and met up with him, Blaire and Leroy. Andy had jumped at the opportunity to fill me in on a dream he'd had the previous night.

"We've had to listen to this all morning, Pete." Blaire sighed, and I gave her a sympathetic look. "Sometimes, he'll go quiet, and you'll think it's over, and the storm has passed, but then, seconds later, he starts up again."

"Just because my dreams are unique, doesn't mean you need to be jealous," Andy defended and turned his nose up, making Blaire give him a light punch in the arm.

"Whatever you say, Andy." Blaire let out a small laugh before turning to look at me. "You seem unusually quiet, Pete. You okay?"

At those words, it felt like I wanted to collapse on the ground, though I wasn't too sure why. It was true that I had been unusually quiet since I had arrived. I had barely spoken a word, apart from the initial hello. Someone was bound to question it at some point.

My eyes scanned my group of friends, and I saw that all of them were now looking at me. There was no concern or worry in their eyes, but why should there be? They didn't know anything. The only thing I could see was the tiredness that we all shared.

"Yeah, I'm good. Sorry I couldn't pick you guys up this morning. Kind of slept in," I said truthfully. "Didn't even get coffee."

"You shouldn't drink that crap anyway, Pete," Leroy stated, taking a swig from some knock-off brand energy drink.

"Thank you for the insight, you extremely healthy human," I retorted sarcastically. Leroy just rolled with it.

"Not a problem! 'Tis what I'm here for."

"Oh, shut up, Leroy. You get coffee with us every morning," Andy interjected, shoving Leroy slightly, who chuckled.

"That's a secret, Andy," Leroy whispered, shoving Andy back, causing him to shake his head.

"Come on, losers, let's go in," Blaire interrupted before wrapping her arm around my shoulder and starting to steer me toward the school.

As she did so, I stole a glance at Andy, who gave me a sly smirk and a quick wink, and I had to refrain from rolling my eyes at him. Instead, I smiled sheepishly back.

If there was one thing I hated about my friend group, it was that I could never really be myself. Sure, there were some parts of who I was that I was happy to show, but there was a glaring personality trait that I kept, un-ironically, hidden in the closest.

The thing was, how things were now, is how I wanted them to stay. I was afraid that if I told them who I was, everything would change. Maybe it would be for the best, but there was a constant voice in the back of my head that kept telling me it would ruin everything.

As the four of us made our way into the school, we were all greeted and were greeted by different people on the way. We did have other friends, of course.

"Hey, Peter!" A student called as I walked past him, and I gave him a soft smile and a small wave. I knew him as Trent, and not to make a judgement call, but I had a hunch that he was gay. Not that he had come out.

That was another reason I was sceptical about coming out, especially at school. You see, at my school, there were no gay kids. I mean, sure, there were probably some gay kids, but none of them were out yet. Which made coming out for me much harder. I would be seen as the only gay kid in the school, and that thought alone was daunting enough to keep me from saying anything.