Imperfect With Perfect

Please Stay

Eva's POV

"Excuse me?" I asked with tears blurring my vision.

The doctor looks down in sorrow and looks back up to assure me that it is true.

"I'm very sorry for your loss." The doctor said.

Adam's mood of happiness faded away in that instant. His eyes looked side to side as if searching for an answer if what is happening is real. He tilted his head down and covered his eyes with his hand, then his breathing became uneven. 

"The fetus in your womb will soon be expelled in a matter of days. Try again in 3 weeks to recover. I am sorry once again." 

The doctor excuses himself and leaves Adam and I alone. He looks around and sniffles. I could tell he was trying to hold all the tears and emotions from erupting all at once in that small room. 

"Can we please go?" He squeaks.

I nod and we both walk out without saying a word to each other. He drove home with eyes glistening in the sunlight. At times, he would breathe deeply and massage his bottom half of his ear. He always did that when he felt vulnerable. I didn't know how I felt. I didn't know if I felt upset or anything at all. This death was unfamiliar and foreign. Adam gripped the wheel tight, showing the whiteness on his hands. I could hear that he is breathing unevenly and whenever a tear sheds, he wiped it away immediately as if he hadn't shed a tear at all.

"Adam?" I ask him.

"I'm sorry, Eva. But I don't need pity right now. " He said.

I nod and we continue on driving home....silently.

We made it back home and he was trying to open the door but he kept locking the door when he unlocked it. He was now frustrated and dropped the keys. He cursed and I picked up the keys and unlocked the door with ease. He walked in and sat on the couch without any words being said. I walked in and closed the door behind me. 

"Why? Why do I keep losing when there was is no race to begin with? Why did it have to be this way?" Adam asked.

I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or if he was trying to digest the information out loud. I held out my hand to console him on his shoulder but he got up. His face made an expression of being broken into a million pieces. He pulled his sleeve down to cover his hands and his breathing began to increase. Then suddenly, his tears began running down his face all at once and his blue eyes were surrounded with strains of red. I looked at a different direction, not being able to look at him so depressed. Him being torn down to the bone made me feel so useless for being unable to protect him from such darkness. His strength, happiness, and positivity was the backbone to keeping us alive and not break. But now that he is the complete opposite, I have nothing to grab a hold of. I wanted to cry, but doing so will only bring us down even more, so I kept myself from doing so by trying to lift him, something he would have done for me. His hands escaped his sleeves and his fingers grasped his face, almost trying to rip it off. 

"I hate everything! I hate the life I have! What else am I going to lose?! I lost my son! Being called a dad was ripped away from me before it could have ever been said." Adam cries in despair.

He grabs a pillow and throws it across the room and throws another on a vase that broke into pieces. 

"If I can't have my boy, then I can't have anything!" Adam said aloud. 

He grabbed anything that is fragile and breaks them onto the floor. I run towards him urging him to stop. He ignored every word I said and kept searching for anything fragile and or deeply expensive. I grabbed his arm trying to hault him, but he was strong enough to only drag me.