Back to You

Ch.13

After Cragen left later that afternoon Elliot and Olivia were on the floor surrounded by toys playing with Noah.

Elliot watched Olivia and Noah interact and it was truly the most heartwarming thing he had ever seen. The way her face lit up every time he called her mama or the way she is so taken by him that every little thing he does is the greatest thing in this world.

They both watched as Noah tried to crawl to Olivia, giving up after a few moments of trying. Olivia reached out and picked him up, holding his hands and standing him on her lap, "Mama," he squealed as he planted a slobbery kiss on her cheek.

Elliot watched as her eyes teared up and she kissed Noah on the head.

"You are growing up way too fast baby boy," her smile bittersweet. She stroked the side of his face and into his hair, getting lost in her son.

She was brought back to the present when she heard Elliot's voice, "You sound like every parent out there, Liv. Trust me, they do grow up way to fast, so enjoy it."

Olivia kissed Noah again and then put him back down and watched him as he started playing, "I just feel like I've already missed so much." She looked across at Elliot, it was still so surreal for him to be sitting here, in her living room, with her and her son, "The things I would have given up to have been his mother for the first 7 months of his life ..." she shook her head, willing away the tears, "... it's just not fair."

Elliot moved over to sit next to her, he pulled her into his side and kissed her head, "You're right, Liv, it's not fair. You're the mother he deserved to have from the beginning," he tilted her head back as he ran his hand through her hair, "You deserved to be a mother a long time ago, Liv," he said giving her a gentle kiss, "I knew you'd be an amazing mom."

She kissed him again and then let out a sigh, "Thanks for saying that. I love him so much I just want to be the best mom I can be for him, I don't want to lose him."

"Why would you lose him?" he turned to look at her.

"I forgot that you don't know all of the details. I have temporary custody of Noah to be his foster mother for one year. At the end of said year I will be given the option to adopt him, permanently." She told him all in one breath, as if she memorized it, which in her case, she had. It was the constant reminder that this could all be taken away from her in an instant.

As if he read her mind, Elliot reached for her hand and squeezed it tightly, "He's your son, and anyone with eyes can tell how much you love him and how much he loves you. Don't worry about that so much, it will stop you from enjoying the moment if you're always worried about what if's. That's something you taught me."

Olivia brought his hand to her lips and gave it a gentle kiss, "Thank you, I'm glad you're here."

He bent down and kissed the top of her head, "Me too." He watched as Noah played with his bus. Elliot moved over in front of Noah and pulled away his bus. Noah started to whimper and Elliot kissed his head, "Come here big boy, if you want your bus you're gonna have to crawl over here and get it. You can do it, Noah," Elliot cooed as he put his arms out, encouraging Noah to come to him.

Olivia watched in awe as Elliot made faces and wiggled his fingers trying to get Noah to crawl to him. After a few moments Noah was giggling and staring at Elliot like he held the world. Noah slowly leaned forward and got an all fours as he tried to make his way towards Elliot. She held her breath as he slowly crawled towards Elliot, stumbling a little bit over his toys but he kept on moving.

Once he reached him, Elliot scooped him up in his arms and kissed him on his cheeks, "You are such a big boy! I knew you could do it, Daddy is so proud of you, Noah." As soon as the words came out of his mouth he looked at Olivia, with a deer in the head lights look, trying to figure where to go now.