The Moon on a Frozen Lake

2: In Dreams

In the end, she decided it was best for Kang Jihoon to remain a fantasy. Then, they could both indulge in pleasure without worrying about pain. There, she didn't have to deal with the complications that often came with reality. More importantly, she was free to do as she desired without repercussions.

To prove her point, she brushed a hand down his cheek and traced the angle of his jaw, where dark bristles tickled her palm.

His lashes fluttered open.

She held her breath.

He was beautiful.

And so was this dream.

"Hey." She rubbed her thumb over his lower lip like she had done dozens of times before.

His eyes widened at her touch.

"Miss Hu?"

Miss Hu? Were they doing the boss and secretary thing again? This was one of her favorite fantasies.

Licking her lips, she pushed herself up and scooted towards him but a searing pain burned her side. She gasped, squeezing her lids shut. At once, she felt gentle hands helping her lay back on the bed.

"Careful or you might undo your stitches."

Stitches?

Her eyes snapped open at that. She examined the room beyond. The walls and ceiling were painted a drab shade of beige. There was a small window behind him where weak sunshine spilled through. His jacket was carelessly flung over the arm of a grey sofa.

Her pulse quickened as possibilities filtered through her head.

"This isn't a dream?"

"Are you still groggy from the medicine?" While he tilted his head, a corner of his lips quirked up. "No, it's not a dream."

If this was not a dream, then it must be a living nightmare. She clenched her hands against the sheets. That's when she noticed the tubes sticking out of her arm.

Panic started knocking at the edges of her consciousness.

"Where am I?" Her voice came out high-pitched.

"You're at the hospital. You had an appendectomy last night. Good thing your appendix hasn't ruptured yet, so you'll be able to recover soon."

An appendectomy? At a hospital?

No, no, no. She couldn't be. She couldn't leave her house. She...

She couldn't breathe.

"Are you okay? Wait, let me call the nurse."

"No!" The last thing she needed was more people in the room. "Don't! I'm... I'm okay."

She started counting in her head, focusing on getting all the numbers right. She learned the trick after watching an online video about meditation.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded.

Six, seven, eight...

When she lost her parents, anxiety had replaced the hole they had left in her life. It first made its presence known the day of their funeral. While she was receiving the many well-meaning people who came to offer their condolences, she started seeing accusatory glances aimed her way. Then, she heard whispers.

If only she went to pick her parents up instead of making them take a cab, then they wouldn't have gotten involved in a car accident. If only she did as she promised instead of choosing to work overtime, then they would still be alive.