Pretending [YOONKOOK]

8 : Wrong Move

Jungkook comfort himself when he was so sure nothing bad will happen today as Yoongi don't wear the same things he did in the old picture. So things should be alright. Right?

He went through the day without lifting his eyes away from the older in class. He looks basic, for others. But for Jungkook that had known so many things about what about to happen, Yoongi look lost to him.

Maybe that what depression does.

It makes you look fine outside for people who don't know. Only those who struggle know the true side.

After the class ended, Jungkook was clearing his things as fast as he can to follow Yoongi but instead, when he finished, Yoongi was already out of sight. He was about to run but then stopped by Jimin and Taehyung. 

"Maknae enough with your secret crush with Min Yoongi.Now let's go and eat shall we?" Taehyung held his hand up blocking Jungkook from walking further away. Jungkook was dumbfounded. He needs to follow Yoongi. Just today, he needs to know what he will do.

"Maybe next time Tae hyung, I got something to do." Jungkook tried to reject nicely as he keeps looking around to find any sign of Yoongi. As he was about to lose hope, he saw Jin walking out of the library and he was praying for Yoongi to not be by his side. He waits, and wait.

And after 5 seconds, Jungkook world drop.

Yoongi comes out from the library door following Jin steps with an emotionless face.

"I'm sorry, excuse me hyung I'll contact you later," Jungkook shout as he runs away as fast he can toward Yoongi and Jin direction.

He wants to stop Yoongi.
He wants to stop him from going with Jin.

He wants to stop him from taking the pills.

He wants to stop worrying.

Jungkook runs toward the university gate and stops to get some breath as he was running really fast over a long distance. As he was about to run again, Jin's car drove pass in front of his own eyes as Yoongi was inside them.

'No.'

'No..'

'No!'

Jungkook shouts internally as he saw the car drove away. It's happening. What written down in the later is happening. And nothing he does can stop it. He can't stop Yoongi path.

Jungkook just stares at the road then turn to look at the sky.

'If God had already planned this for him, who is he to change that?' Jungkook thought lost.

Maybe it would be good if Jungkook just never opens the letter from a stranger when he first got it before. 

Then all this misery won't happen.

_________________________________________________________

Yoongi look at Jin with lost eyes but the older didn't saw what behind Yoongi's eyes. Jin was recording video talking alone as he said memories stays when the people isn't it didn't. It will still exist even if the person inside it was gone or dead.

That last sentence he said just make Yoongi volunteering himself into the video. It shocked the other Jin and Namjoon but of course, they just knock it off. It's rarely Yoongi would want to join this kind of things and they are beyond happy.

But for Yoongi, he just thinks Jin at least need some memories of him. Before he is going to do what he is going to do.

Some people might ask him or if they are too late, will ask themselves. Why? What happen? What is the reason for him to kill himself? 

His life wasn't so bad, they thought.

At least there are more people having it harder than him, they fight.

That's when Yoongi stops showing emotions.

You know when you are really struggling with something and hardly can breathe, all you need is support and comfort from others who said they love you. But when you received judgment stares and conversation, you start to doubt your struggles. Other might think what you are struggling with is just a normal small thing for them. When others told you something and making your struggles invalid and small, Yoongi start to believe it too. 

That his struggles are nothing for anyone and he was just overreacting.

With that kind of thinking, he manages to get a hold of himself for a month, before it all coming back to him one day and Yoongi just shut down.

Yoongi drifts away from everyone. He blocks his friends away. He talks less with his mother. Most of the times he just spend them inside his solitary dark room that he never bother to open the curtain. Yoongi felt comfortable living in the darkness.

His mother was the one that worried the most. Yoongi used to be a really cheerful and smiley kid. But things change when his father becomes really abusive and cheated on her.

So she decided to divorce with him for the sake of Yoongi. But she did it too late. As she was in the process of divorcing, Yoongi tries to escape reality and took his own path.

She could never forget how the color red is staining Yoongi's bathroom floor as she comes back home later at night after hours at the court to seek the child rearing right.

Yoongi was floating in the bathtub of his bathroom as his both wrist was cut open vertically.

Yoongi reaches the hospital at the heart rate of 78/30 and he was saved from the death just a few seconds before his heart stop.

He was then admitted to the mental institution hospital where he woke up after a week of his attempt.

His mother will come to visit him once a week never miss.

As Yoongi condition was still weak, he feels disgusted and hates himself, even more, to see how terrible his mother conditions due to his failed attempts. At least if he died, she would just grieve for a few weeks.

All his comeback of thought just makes Yoongi feel sick. 

He needs some sleep. 

Some good long sleep.

TO BE CONTINUE.

Does anyone realize the webtoon for HYYH Save me actually have some time travelling to save his friends too?I'm shocked.And it has a crap I'm planning to actually written here even before I know the webtoon will be coming out.I'm shook and feel honor.Hahah