wallflower | taekook

thirty eight.

"Birds sing even when
the world is filled with sadness."
— Michael Gilbert

Taehyung POV

It seemed wrong that there were birds chirping outside and the pretty colors of a sunrise almost seen through the curtains that were slightly parted. It was suppose to be a nice morning, the sunrise starting and shining on his face while we smiled and stayed happy together. But instead I could only see his sad face and tear stained cheeks.

I wonder if mine looked the same.

I couldn't think properly, of course I was upset he was doing these things, especially knowing it was stupid to do. But I was also happy, happy that he nows feels comfortable enough to come and talk to me about everything he bottled up. Now I wish I could have unheard that.

"Taehyung?" he whispered, his voice was so soft and quiet. I wonder if he could hear my heart crumbling.

I just stood there in front of his seated position, it was hard to get the words out. "So that's what you've been doing? Whenever I'm asleep in your bed, you leave me to go fuck around with someone else?"

I thought that was the hardest thing to do, to say it out loud because that means this is actually happening. But it wasn't. The worst part was seeing Jungkook's  lips part for some sort of response but only a cry came out.

He was shaking his head and trying to wipe away the snot from his nose. It took everything in me not to run over to him again and hold him until everything was okay again.

"No Tae! That's not what happened!" he kept crying and I felt my own eyes get hot. "I just kissed him once this morning but I had to, he wouldn't have let me leave because he thought I was stealing and I was. I cant lie anymore and I knew I had to tell you about it when I got home and tell you everything, I just can't do it anymore-" he choked on one of his sobs and rubbed furiously at his eyes.

I had to turn around and walk away, he couldn't see the few tears leaving my eyes. I wiped them away with the back of my hand and went back to his room to grab my jacket and phone.

"Where are you going?" he asked quickly when I came back out to get my shoes.

Jungkook got up from the couch and nearly tripped over his backpack laying on the ground. I had to leave, I needed to clear my head and not say anything I'd regret later.
"I need to go Jungkook." I said.

I kept my eyes on the ground as I shoved on my shoes and reached for the door, "It's obvious you need help, and I don't know if I'm the person that can do it."

He ran his hands through his hair and I could see him chewing on his bottom lips that were painted in tears. Such a bad habit.

"So you're leaving?" he asked. "You're leaving me right now?" The sound of his voice cracking hurt my heart and I like I was trying to swallow a fist of clay as I tried not to cry.

Looking up to see Jungkook standing there, tears falling down his red cheeks and hair a mess, he looked broken.

"I just can't talk to you right now." I said. And then I closed the door behind me.

The tears didn't fall until I made it down the stairs and he didn't follow after me. Of course he hurt me, but I've also hurt him.

Jungkook needed to calm down before we could talk about this, and I needed to talk to someone else before my head exploded.

I'm just hoping he was awake this early.

"Is Jimin awake?" I asked Yoongi once I knocked on their apartment door.

The older boy just stepped back and chuckled, "You look like shit."

"Thanks." I mumbled.

I walked in and slipped my shoes off by the door, hearing a voice coming from the kitchen. "Taehyung!" Jimin shouted from the island where they must have been eating breakfast. He was eating a bowl of cereal and occasionally taking a piece of fruit. "Taehyung?" he repeated once I walked closer and sat on the stool beside him. "Hey Jimin."

"What's wrong?" the blonde boy asked, nothing but worry in his voice.

I just sighed and grabbed a piece of toast and started to spread some jam on it. "Jungkook."

Jimin shoved his bowl of cereal away and spun on the stool to face me, obviously curious to hear about his best friend. "What about Jungkook?" he asked.

I no longer felt like crying, or making it sound nicer. It's easier to just come out and say it, maybe that's what Jungkook realized this morning. "Jungkook's messing with drugs again, he's stealing, apparently kissed this guy, and I think he's in need of real help."

No one said anything, and I just ate my toast. I knew Jimin would lose it over Jungkook, he'd be so upset and want to see him, to help him. That's why I didn't expect to feel his fingers brushing through my hair so comfortingly, and his sweet voice, "And how are you feeling?"

Maybe I'm trying not to be upset because it's always been engraved in people's minds that someone always has it worse so why should you be complaining? Jungkook was in a bad place, I wasn't. But I was still hurting, and I needed someone too. So it felt nice to be asked and to have Jimin accept my hug, and feel his fingers still rubbing my back and have Yoongi not make any smart remarks but instead grab his car keys and quietly leave us alone.

I only let go of Jimin when I felt my tears stop running down my cheeks. I sniffled and let out a breath, "It's too early for this." I laughed lightly trying to make a joke.

"Come on," Jimin said patting my thigh, he grabbed his fruit and my piece of toast with a napkin, "Let's go watch morning cartoons."

The blonde smiled and carefully carried everything in one hand while the other small one grabbed onto mine and we walked into the other room where the huge tv say on the wall. Yoongi definitely spoiled him.

There was a big bean bag with stuffed animals on it and Jimin grabbed the fuzzy blanket that was thrown across them before sitting on the couch and waiting for me.

I sat beside him and pulled the blanket over our legs while he grabbed the remote. I wasn't paying attention to what he put on or giggled at, I just kept my head on his shoulder and picked at the toast, trying not to think about him too much.

• ♡ •
i hope they're aren't too many mistakes! i just got 1k reads and for me that's crazy and i'm so happy!! i honestly thought only two ppl were reading this
classes start tomorrow but i'll keep updating because senior year is easy and i have more time recently
i hope i've written well enough for u!!