Citrus. Klance AU

Chapter 11

I'm so sick right now I want death

I didn't know what to do with myself whilst Lotor was at work. I had been meeting up with Keith daily so going so long without seeing him made me miss him. I had left him so abruptly without a proper goodbye and then disappeared. Not that he'd care if I never returned. Why would he?

I had flicked through Netflix a couple of times before settling on rewatching Stranger Things. It was early December- not exactly Halloween- but I didn't think it mattered. I grabbed the soft blanket Lotor had given me one Christmas and snuggled up on the sofa. I pressed play, laid my head against a pillow and immersed myself into the story.

-

"Love, wake up," I let out a tiny whine as I winced against the light. Lotor was staring down at me with a smile on his face, having obviously just come home. "What do you want for dinner?" As I yawned, he brushed a piece of hair out of my face.

"What time is it?" I muttered, forcing myself up into a sitting position as I rubbed my eyes with my fists.

"I just got home so around four. Do you want to order pizza? As a treat for you being good today?"

"Sure." My stomach growled at me, telling me to eat something. I hadn't seen much of a point in getting up for lunch so had skipped it. When I thought about it, I realised I hadn't actually eaten breakfast either. All I had had was a single cup of coffee.

That was how we ended up cuddling up on the sofa and watching a movie together. We were sharing two pizzas between us: one pepperoni and one Hawaiian. Love, Simon was playing on the screen but I was paying more attention to the pizza.

"Hey, Lance?" Lotor spoke up out of the blue, his hands finding their way into my hair. I hummed as a response whilst he started to play with the strands of my hair. "I think I was a bit harsh on you yesterday. I'm going to let you go out whilst I'm at work again."

"Really?" My face lit up like the sun.

"Yeah. As long as you promise you'll be good."

"I promise! Thank you so much."

"I love you." My eyes fell shut as I focused on the hands in my hair. They were so soothing and relaxing that I was on the verge of falling asleep.

"I love you too, Lotor." I did. I really loved him. I loved our movie nights and I loved going on dates with him. I loved hearing him laugh and feeling him kiss me. I loved when I was good and he rewarded me. It made all the punishments worth it.

-

"Where were you yesterday?" Keith asked, trying to hide the disappointment in his tone. He had given me a glass of water and was sipping at his own latte. The shop was dead and we were the only ones there.

"I wasn't feeling great," I easily lied. I forced a cough to make my words more convincing but the quirked eyebrow on Keith's face told me he didn't believe me. "I'm feeling better today."

"That's good... also, Lance?"

"Yeah?"

"How did you get that black eye?" My eyes widened because I had completely forgotten that was there. I could see out of that eye perfectly fine so the existence of the bruising easily slipped my mind. I stiffened a little bit but another lie came to me at such an ease that I was almost ashamed.

"I tripped and hit my eye on the corner of a counter. I'm such a klutz, I swear."

"Oh... and why don't you text me?" I glanced up with furrowed eyebrows. "I'm beginning to think you don't want to but you keep showing up here so you must want to talk? You're giving me some crazy mixed messages here."

"I do want to talk. I told you last time that I broke my phone again."

"I- I don't believe you. Something just seems off about it."

"Nothing's off, Keith."

"Then why didn't you message me when you had your phone?"

"I just... can't."

"But why? Don't you want to talk to me?" Keith sounded like he was getting angry so I couldn't help it as I shrunk back into my chair. "I don't get it, Lance. Something must be going on that you aren't telling me. I'm too stupid to figure out what so I need you to tell me. Just say it if you don't want to be my friend anymore."

"There isn't anything going on. I need- need to get home." I got up onto my feet and abandoned the half empty glass of water. Keith stood up too and raised a hand. If I had time to think logically about it, I would have realised it would land on my shoulder but, I didn't have that time. I flinched, mind jumping to the worst conclusion.

I brought both of my hands up to protect my face and ducked away. I vaguely heard Keith gasp and murmur, "You thought I was going to hit you," in complete disbelief. "Lance, I'm so so sorry. I was just going to-"

"It's fine." I turned and rushed out of the shop without looking back.

-

I was jittery when I got home. I went straight up to the bedroom and sat down on the bed, Keith's words and tone refusing to escape my mind. He sounded so pained and concerned but I couldn't place my finger down on why. I had flinched. It wasn't that big a deal. Anyone would have flinched if they thought they were about to be hit.

And all of those questions. My bruises. My phone. How he thought something seemed off. Lotor would have told me that Keith didn't care about me if he knew but I didn't want to have to push him away like I had Pidge and Hunk. Keith was someone special and I really liked him. Maybe too much. He had found his way into my heart without even realising. I fell onto my back and glanced up at the ceiling, feeling fresh tears collect in my eyes.

It felt so wrong going behind Lotor's back to meet up with someone but it wasn't like I was cheating. If he found out, he was either going to kill me, deprive me of everything I could imagine or, worse, break up with me. He knew how much I relied on him so breaking up with me was the worst possible outcome. At that point, I lived with him, didn't have any of my own money and didn't have any friends I could go to (unless Keith counted).

-

"You seem distant. What's wrong, love?" Lotor whispered when we were laying in bed one night. We weren't touching at all because I was laying as far away from him as possible. I didn't reply, rolling over to face the wall. It had been over a week since I had seen Keith and I just couldn't stop thinking about him. I was drowning in my guilt: I loved Lotor. He needed to know I had a friend. He needed to know about the one night stand.

"There's something I haven't told you about." My voice cracked before I could even tell him the truth. He placed a hand on my shoulder to coax me into looking in his direction. I did. "I have a friend who- who works at the coffee shop we went to. His name's-"

"Lance. Stop." Lotor sounded angry and I hadn't even told him the worst of it. He sat up; as did I. We kept about a quarter of a metre between us. "Is it that Shane dude?"

"His name's Shiro and no. It's Keith and you haven't met him before."

"What have I told you about having friends? No one cares about you. He's just going to hurt you like everyone else. It's better if you don't have friends. I'm the only person you need."

"I know you said that but- but he's different. He's really kind and he gives me free drinks sometimes. We've talked a lot and I really feel like I know him."

"I don't want you seeing him anymore. What if he tries to take you away from me? We can't have that, can we?"

"He- He won't-"

"Lance, just be quiet. You're lucky I'm not punishing you any more than this." I hung up my head as Lotor laid back down. When I followed suit, Lotor wrapped his arms around me and pulled me towards his chest in a very protective way. I shut my eyes tightly just so I didn't end up crying.