20. The Mission

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WARNING: Suicidal thoughts and actions. If that triggers you, please do not read Tony's section. You have been warned.

 You have been warned

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Day 16

Tony

It was early. Tony looked at his watch. Huh, 3 A.M. That's fun. When's the last time he slept? Yesterday maybe? No... not yesterday...Oh yeah, it was three days ago. Good times.

He took another step forward. He may have drunk a tad too much. Or not. He could still think. So, maybe a few more bottles...

But, that would require going back inside. He really didn't want too. It was nice on the roof. Nice and quiet.

He was having trouble staying awake, but he couldn't go to sleep. Not again. Sleep was a very bad idea. Nightmares always came when you were asleep. Though they can sometimes come when you're awake too... the last few weeks had proven that.

The last few weeks had been a waking nightmare. Steve had been tortured. He was tortured and Tony was made to watch. Then he was killed. But, not really. Tony had finally, sort of, kind of, come to terms with it when Steve showed up not dead. Not dead and a Hydra killer.

Then all of the lies Steve had been told - about Tony, about Howard - it was no wonder Cap was so confused. Tony was confused and he hadn't even been through half of what Steve had.

And it was all his fault.

Tony suddenly found himself leaning on the edge of the tower, looking at the ground below. Even with it being way past midnight, cars were still moving back and forth down there, but he could just barely see their lights winking at the foot of the tower. Wow. He was high up. A fall like that could...

Well...

But he couldn't...

But then again, why not?

Who would care?

The team wouldn't have to worry about him.

Pepper would finally be free from him.

Cap... Well, Cap would probably dance on his grave.

Steve had tried to kill him after all.

And how could he blame him?

Tony would want himself dead too if he were in the super soldier's shoes.

Who was he kidding, he did want himself dead.

And all he had to do was... just step...

He found himself standing on the ledge. That's funny... he didn't remember climbing up there.

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