Her eyes widened considerably as she looked me up and down. The waiter who had been standing there, hurried off as he muttered under his breath. Jeez, what was with everyone acting weird today?
"Oh, yes, follow me Ms. Joelle."
I wanted to ask how she knew my first name when not once I said it out loud but I managed to convince myself it wouldn't even matter because Blake probably had put my full name as the reservation. We walked past where we usually sat and towards a corner, and I was confused about why we were going into such a hidden place. That's when I saw him.
The guy I had promised myself to completely forget about and act like I had never met. He was sitting at the table the girl was trying to get me to sit at. I stared at her before staring back at him and then staring at her again. She finally felt awkward enough to scurry away and I just continued to stare at where she used to stand.
"Why…" I shook my head in shock. "Why are you here?"
He was on his feet in a matter of seconds, reaching his hand out towards mine. I withdrew mine quickly, just trying to process all that was happening at the moment. He was dressed smartly, in dress pants and a button up shirt but the top four buttons were undone. He hadn't shaved in a while and he looked damn good. The Zayn I had tried to forget was now right in front of me, but he looked so much better than I had remembered. The definition of the jaw, the spark in the eyes, the way he always looked so serious.
"Don't leave. Please, let's just talk. Just sit and talk. Please?" Zayn begged, reaching once more for my hand and this time I didn't flinch away. Mine seemed to fit perfectly in his, soft skin touching soft skin. Everything in my brain screamed to run, to go find Blake and beat him up before demanding he take me home. To continue this life I had made for myself, but instead of doing what I knew I should, I let myself be persuaded into sitting at the table. Not once did he let go of my hand, instead he maneuvered himself to sit opposite me and then kept our hands on the edge of the table - like those cliche movies where they are all sappy holding hands and saying sappy love things to each other.
That's what snapped me out of the reverie and the beautiful dream I was having that this could end well, and I slowly took my hand back and placed it in my lap. "I don't have anything to say to you anymore, Zayn."
"That doesn't mean I don't. I have plenty to say to you, Joelle." Zayn's voice was on the verge of angry, but it all just seemed to mask the pain that he was trying his hardest to hide. I hated myself because I knew how he felt and I knew way more about him than I ever wanted to.
"Zayn, don't do this. Don't do this to me and don't do this to yourself. We were fine without each other," I lied, keeping my facial expression as blank as it could be.
"No. We're not okay on our own, why are you turning a blind eye to the pain you're in? We were happier together than we had ever been when we were alone, and you won't open your eyes to that. Why won't you see it?"
Silence ticked by before I stared straight into his eyes. "I see it and it scares me."
"Scared of being loved by someone? Or scared of being loved by me?" Zayn asked quietly.
"Love is vulnerable and I can't go through what so many have gone through before. I can't let myself be vulnerable."
"This isn't being vulnerable. This is letting someone see and accept you through all things, it doesn't make you weak. It makes you stronger."
My teeth nibbled on my lip as I looked at this man who had changed everything I had ever known. Was it time that I let go of all that I taught myself to believe and think? Was it time to let someone in?
Hey, so if any of you happen to know Aaron Tveit can you tell him that I love him and would like to have him sing to me 24/7? Yeah thanks. If you do that, I'll write you as many stories as you want me too.
Yeah I've been obsessed with watching musicals online lately. Next to Normal, Catch Me If You Can, Cinderella (the better version), Matilda, and Billy Elliot in the last three days. Is that normal? Nopeeeee.
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Chapter Twenty-Five
Start from the beginning
